


I Didn't See This Coming

by sirriamnis



Series: Check the Bachelor, Please Universe [1]
Category: Check Please! (Webcomic), The Bachelor
Genre: Canon-Compliant, F/M, Light Bondage, Light Dom/sub, OC, Tater is a perfect cinnamon bun
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-07
Updated: 2020-08-11
Packaged: 2021-03-05 00:48:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 27
Words: 53,354
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25135657
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sirriamnis/pseuds/sirriamnis
Summary: Tater goes on The Bachelor, meets the girls, falls in love with the one who wasn't supposed to be an option, and takes her back to Providence.(I want to give. you guys a better summary, but this is really what it's about. This and the Falcs being giant dorks when they meet her.)(Also, I can apparently only really edit once I've hit 'post'.)
Relationships: Alexei "Tater" Mashkov/OC, Derek "Nursey" Nurse/William "Dex" Poindexter, Eric "Bitty" Bittle/Jack Zimmermann
Series: Check the Bachelor, Please Universe [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1869928
Comments: 65
Kudos: 57





	1. Welcome to the Bachelor Finale

Gretchen, lead make-up artist on the Bachelor, dusted powder over Alexei Mashkov’s face before the official filming of the final episode. The cameras rolled on them, as the producers had figured out that one of the few people on set Alexei could relax with was Gretchen, sarcastic, short, curvy, with light brown skin and pastel blue hair in a halo around her head. Surprising, given the ease with which he’d made a series of ‘Falcs’ TV’ segments for the NHL team’s social media channel, part of why they’d chosen him. He’d been stiff and very quiet with everyone but Gretchen, leading to a lot of “in the chair” segments, where he talked over the contestants with her. 

“What if I’m choose wrong, Gri… Gretchen?” Alexei frowned. 

“I swear to Christ, Mashkov, if you call me Gritty one more time, I’m giving you boils for this last episode.” She bopped his nose with her brush. “Look, you’ll make the right choice. Just, listen to what makes your heart happy.” She paused. “And for the love of all that is holy, do not choose Gina.” 

Alexei laughed, and Gretchen’s chest hurt. Alexei would go on set and choose one of those model perfect girls, to if not marry, then at least be engaged to until they figured out their shit. She had a bottle of vodka in the trailer freezer behind her, and a pint of Ben & Jerry’s. 

“You are being ok?” Alexei asked, looking up at her with those big brown eyes. 

“Yeah, I’m fine. I’m gonna miss making you look pretty.” She bopped his nose again, and took a step back to assess. “I guess you’ll do. Now, shoo. Make one of those girls the happiest woman in the world.” 

“Ok.” He pulled the bib off, revealing the tailored tux he wore beneath it. “Still look ok?”

“You look great. Knock’em dead, Tiger.” She smiled at him, and then started gathering up her brushes to clean them, and put them away. 

“Thank you, Gretchen. You are being best!” He stepped up and hugged her, and she bit her lip to keep from crying. She took a deep breath and hugged him back tightly. 

“You got this.” Her voice broke the tiniest bit, she stepped back and turned away quickly. 

Alexei waited for a moment, then turned to walk out the door. When she heard it click shut, she exhaled, and her head fell forward, as tears fell down her cheeks. 

She was two shots into the vodka, and had almost finished packing up her gear, after two months in this trailer, it had spread all over the place, when she heard a noise outside her door. She’d just gotten to her feet after crawling around after errant brushes and turned toward the door, when it opened, Alexei, followed by the camera and sound guys panting and gasping for air. In his hand, Alexei held the final rose. 

“Alexei, what are you doing here?” She had both hands full of the brushes she’d chased down under the table. In the face of Alexei looking like a fairy tale, or at least romance novel, Prince Charming, she was suddenly very aware that she was wearing a pair of faded jeans, cuffed and rolled at the ankles, a faded Misfits T-shirt, beat to shit black converse, and that her own make up had run down her face while she cried, drank, and gathered her things. The bottle of vodka and the currently empty shot glass sat on the counter next to the sink. 

“Gretchen, you tell me follow my heart, listen to what make it happy.” Alexei took a step forward, and held out the rose. “You make my heart happy. Best times I’m have on show are talking to you in make-up chair, sitting next to pool other night.” 

Gretchen dropped the make-up brushes to take the rose from his hand. 

“I, I’m not a contestant, I’m not supposed to.” She looked up at him, tearing up again, dusty from crawling around on the floor. 

“I’m not care. You are being who I’m want. Gretchen, please? Make me happiest man on planet.” He stepped in closer. Gretchen was very dimly aware of the camera guy contorting himself to get a shot of them in profile. Alexei leaned down to kiss her. She lifted her head to meet him halfway, and his arms wrapped around her. She slid her hands up around the back of his neck, and held on, breaking off the kiss to look into his eyes. 

Someone cleared their throat at the door, show host, Chris Harrison. 

“Right, so, you wanna fix your make up and come join us on set?” Chris asked. “Because I, for one, am not fighting this guy over his choice.” 

“Yeah, give me a few minutes.” Gretchen rested her forehead against Alexei’s chest, laughing. 

“And cut.” Chris told the camera guy. “Great. Don’t make it too perfect. I don’t think anyone seeing this would believe it anyway.” 

“Yeah, I know what I’m about, Harrison.” She sniffled, and looked up at Alexei again. “You’re sure about this?”

“Surest.” He kissed her again. “Halfway in love with you first week into filming.” 

“Yeah, ok.” She exhaled a shaking breath, and then pulled him down into another kiss. 

“OK, ladies and gentlemen, we have a first for the Bachelor.” Chris Harrison stood in front of the remaining two contestants. Mandy had tears on her cheeks and couldn’t quit smiling, Gina had her arms folded over her chest, pouting. Alexei walked in, hand in hand with Gretchen, still wearing her work clothes and holding the rose. 

“I’m so happy for you!” Mandy ran over to hug Gretchen, high heels clacking on the stone floor. “You’re going to be so happy!” 

“Ok, seriously, Harrison, if you don’t make this girl the next Bachelorette, you’re an idiot.” Gretchen hugged Mandy back. “Thanks, babe.” 

“The make up girl? Really?” Gina stomped off set, waiting until the cameras were rolling to make her grand exit. 

“Alexei, this is unprecedented even for this show. Why?” Chris asked. 

“For same reason you guys are putting her on camera with me so much. I’m like Gretchen, can relax with her. She make me laugh, is being very smart, so talent. I’m thinking maybe she is liking me, too, but only ever tell me to do what is making me happy, even if maybe that make her sad.” Alexei looked over at her, squeezing her hand. “Give best advice, maybe should take it.” 

“Shut up, Mashkov,” Gretchen muttered. Mandy beamed, hugged her one more time, blew Alexei a kiss and walked off, head high.

“Gretchen, I think it was pretty obvious at the end of that last chair session that you were having a rough time with knowing Tater was going to choose Mandy or Gina,” Chris rolled the footage of their last conversation, and the tiny sob that accompanied Tater leaving the trailer. 

“I thought I’d stifled that.” Gretchen sighed. “Yeah, I was having a hard time with it. But I wanted him to be happy, and Mandy’s amazing. She is literally the physical embodiment of rainbows and sunshine given human form. I had a bottle of vodka and some Ben & Jerry’s all ready to go.” Gretchen looked up at Alexei. “I was going to practice pretending to be happy for him in the morning.” 

“Not having to pretend now.” Alexei squeezed her hand, and then leaned in for a kiss. “Most beautiful.” 

“Well, I guess there’s nothing left but the night in his suite,” Chris said. “Have a good night.” 

“Yes, hope so.” Alexei smiled at her. 

“We have some talking to do first, but, yeah. Same.” She let Alexei lead her off set. The camera crew followed them up to his suite, where Alexei very firmly closed the door in their faces. 

“Ok, Mashkov, we need to talk about this.” She gestured with the rose. “Are you one hundred percent serious about this?”

“Most serious.” He took her free hand. “You are knowing me now, I’m think. Know I’m not joke about something like this.” 

“Yeah, yeah, I do know you.” She took a deep breath, and started to open her mouth again, but he beat her to it. 

“I’m worried you not feel same way, why you keep talking up Mandy. Other night at the pool, I’m pretty sure. Today I’m know. I’m go on set to tell Mandy I’m love you, and she tell me go to you.” Alexei stepped in close again. “I am loving you so much, Gretchen. Love all you stories, all you jokes, all of you. Look so pretty dressed like this, prettier than girls in fancy gowns with hair and make up.” 

“Alexei, you’re making me cry again.” She sniffled. “I knew for sure I wasn’t getting over you that easily after we talked at the pool, too. You’re so sweet, and kind, and, well, I was prepared to be invited to the wedding, and then get pictures of all your super model professional athlete children, and just suck it up and die alone with an army of cats.” 

“Can still have army of cats. I’m like animals.” Alexei smiled, looking into her eyes. “I’m knowing you are not being sure about kids. S’ok, I’m not being sure either.” 

“Yeah, all right.” She leaned in to kiss him. “We can talk about kids and pets later.” 

“Later.” Alexei shrugged out of his tux jacket, and kissed her back. 

In the morning, she woke them up early to hit them both quick with a little make up, and very cautiously tucked the sheets up around them in bed, ready for the “ambush.” 

“I saw the shooting schedule, because crew.” She kissed Alexei’s nose. Right on cue, someone tapped on the door. 

“How long we leave them out there?” Alexei mumbled, kissing her again. 

“If we get this over with, we can get dressed and get the hell out of here.” She giggled, and ran a hand over his chest. 

“Come in!” Alexei called. 

“I hope we’re not interrupting anything.” Chris Harrison stepped in after the camera guy had so he could film the entrance. 

“Not right now.” Alexei winked at the camera. 

“You are the worst, Mashkov.” Gretchen mumbled in his ear. 

“Good night?” Chris asked, leaning against the wall. 

“Very good.” Alexei kissed her again. “Take break to text friend, help us find art studio for Gretchen back in Providence. Give her chance to focus on art for while.” 

“We’ve still got some things to figure out, but we’re going to do this.” Gretchen looked at Alexei. “He’s amazing.” 

“Best. Best fiancee, best.” Alexei kissed her. “Can’t wait introduce you to team.” 

“You do realize that we have to make a trip to Michigan for you to meet my family, right?” She cupped his cheek in her hand. 

“Can’t wait. You tell me so much about them.” Alexei turned to kiss her hand. “Not sure we have time for trip to Russia, but maybe Mama and Papa come to US meet you.” 

“Baby, your mother sounds terrifying,” Gretchen whispered. 

“She will love you. If she does not, well, she is go back to Russia. You are here with me.” He kissed her. “I’m love you, golubka.” 

“I swear, Mashkov, if that means poop or dork, you are in so much trouble.” She giggled.

“Means ‘dove.’” He kissed her again. “Maybe not right nickname for you, so fierce.” 

“I can still give you boils.” She kissed him back, though, and the camera crew and Chris backed out of the rom. 

“Double dog dare you.” Alexei’s rumbling chuckle followed them out of the room. 

* * *

“So, uh, this is my shoebox.” Gretchen opened the door to her studio apartment. “My plants are all dead, so we don’t have to worry about those. Damn it, I really loved that jade plant.” 

“I’m buy you new one, sweetheart.” Alexei followed her in, carrying his bag, and one of hers. She’d driven them back to her apartment in her ancient Ford Bronco. “Whew, is being hot.” He set the bags at the foot of her bed. “Refrigerator safe to open?” 

“Probably not.” She eyed it warily. 

“You decide what you are wanting to take. We hire Pod, ship it there. Can drive across country, see US, stop at parents’ house.” He pulled her in for a kiss. “You sure you are wanting to get own apartment in Providence?” Alexei asked. 

“I don’t know. If this road trip works out, I might change my mind.” She ran her fingers through his hair. “I still don’t believe I get to have this.” 

“Believe it. You are being stuck with me.” He kissed her nose. “Love you.” 

“Love you, too.” She pulled him into a long deep kiss. “Let me lock the door, and we can turn on the air conditioner and go to bed, maybe order some delivery.”


	2. Meet the Falconers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tater and Gretchen make the road trip across the US, stop in Michigan to meet her family (more on that later), and finally get to Providence.

Chapter 2

The Bachelor contracts forbid them from posting pictures with each other on social media until the show finale aired, so they sent pictures of the trip across country to their friends and families. Alexei insisted on stopping at nearly every tourist trap they encountered. They zig-zagged across the country, finally stopping at her family’s home right outside of Lansing, MI after nearly two weeks of travel. 

“You are not kidding, your parents really are having funeral home.” Alexei frowned as they walked up to the house next to Mueller’s Funeral Home, carrying their bags. He slowed down

“I told you that’s where I started doing make-up.” She snorted. “It’s not like we keep the bodies in the house. Come on.” She tugged him up the walk. The door opened and her Mom and Dad came out on the porch. 

“Welcome, come in! It’s nice to meet you, Alexei!” Gretchen’s mom called, hurrying them inside. 

“You got a call from the show, didn’t you?” Gretchen groaned. 

“We did.” Her father made a face. “We told them they could come film us having dinner at some point, but that they were not ambushing you two first thing.” 

“Thank you, Dad.” Gretchen hugged her Dad, then her Mom. “Um, this is Alexei Mashkov. Alexei, these are my parents Gerhard and Joy Mueller.” 

Gerhard was tall, blonde, with light blue eyes and broad shoulders. Joy stood nearly as tall, her skin darker than her daughter's, and her relaxed hair pulled back in a chignon. 

“Is being nice to meet you. Gretchen is telling me many stories about you.” Alexei shook her Dad’s hand and let her Mother pull him in for a hug. “Where short come from?” He nudged Gretchen. 

“My grandmother.” Gretchen stuck her tongue out at him. “ We have to lay low-ish until the show airs, which is why my hair is brown right now,” she told her mother. “I kind of hate it.” 

“Worth it, if I’m get to have you.” Alexei pulled her in for a quick kiss. “Would stay with you anyway, but this way not have whole network mad at me.” 

“Yeah, I know. Same.” She leaned into him. “We got you guys some souvenirs,” she told her parents. 

“Let me get you something to drink,” Joy said. “Alexei, do you drink beer?”

“Yes, Mrs., er, Joy.” Alexei blushed a little. “Been long time since I’m even date anyone. Part of why I’m agree to go on show. That and dare from best friend.” 

“You’re a professional athlete, you must have had plenty of girls to choose from.” Her Dad led them into the rec room. 

“Yes, but no.” Alexei shook his head. “Never sure if someone is wanting to be with you because you are being pro-athlete, or money, or what.” He shrugged. “Get tired of guessing. English not my native language, so. I’m not always pick up on things. Decide maybe I’m just wait.” 

“And Gretchen?” Her Dad settled in his chair. 

“She is being best, funniest, first I’m meet her.” Alexei’s face lit up. “Sit in make up chair, she is start making fun of me, telling me is not funeral I am going to, and she should know. Tell stories about work in funeral home, tell mean girl not worry, that she clean brushes after use on dead people. Funny, smart, best. I’m start fall in love with her first week of filming. Not sure she feel same. Stay very professional, until last couple nights filming. She start to seem sad, and I’m figure it out, have to ask her.” 

“This dork. He won’t loosen up on camera, and one of the producers hears the two of us having a conversation while he’s in the chair, and gets the bright idea to start filming those make-up sessions, to humanize him, get him to relax in front of the cameras in general. So, I made a ton of overtime, and SAG rates. But I started to catch feelings.” She let her head fall back. “He’s so funny, and sweet. Every time we went somewhere that he and the girls would go sight-seeing or shopping, he’d bring me something. You are the literal worst, Mashkov.” She poked him in the side. 

“You are spelling wrong, is B-E-S-T.” He leaned over to kiss her. 

They broke off the kiss to see her Dad smiling at them. 

“I might even be able to forgive you for him not being a Red Wing,” her Dad said, winking at Alexei.

“That was nauseating.” Her Mom carried in several open bottles of some craft beer, and handed them around. 

“See? I told you. This is where I get it.” She pointed at her parents. 

They spent two days in Michigan with her family. They had a bbq with her extended family, all sworn to secrecy. The show sent a film crew. Then they hit the road and got to Providence a day and a half later.

“How you are feeling about just move in?” Alexei asked, as they drove to his building. 

“Better. We hardly fought at all over the radio, or food, or whether to stop at every tourist trap on every highway ever.” Gretchen smiled when she said it, glancing towards him. “We can give it a shot, I guess. I still need a studio, though.” 

“B say that Lardo find several possible places she is thinking you might like, based on what you tell B. We can go look tomorrow or day after.” Alexei pointed out his building, and texted someone. As they pulled up a short blonde guy ran out with a garage remote. 

“Hey, ya’ll. Good to see you! Nice to meet you, Gretchen! I’m Eric. There’s pie in me and Jack’s apartment whenever you’re ready.” He handed Alexei the remote, and went back into the building. 

She pulled into a spot next to Alexei’s truck. They unloaded the bags, and trudged to the elevator. 

“Can you ask Eric if we have time to take a quick shower or something? Because I am so gross.” Gretchen pushed her hair out of her eyes. “As soon as that fucking show airs, I am getting my hair dyed back to blue.” 

“Anything you are wanting, golubka.” Alexei kissed her cheek and pulled out his phone. “B say yes. Not take too long. Should be out of the oven soon. And he is making us dinner.” 

“Oh my god, I love him.” Gretchen pulled her t-shirt off over her head, and followed Alexei into his bedroom.

“Bathroom over there.” Alexei pointed, and Gretchen wandered over to it, shucking her shorts. 

“Babe, your bathroom is literally bigger than my last apartment.” Gretchen stopped in the doorway. 

“Told you.” Alexei stepped up behind her and wrapped his arms around her. “NHL money.” 

“I guess I didn’t really think about that.” She leaned back against him. “I don’t care how much money you have, had, whatever. I really just did not think about it.” 

“Fine with me.” Alexei kissed the side of her neck. “Take shower. Smell like car and fast food.” 

“So do you.” She tilted her head back to kiss him. “Going to shower with me?”

“Of course. Can’t take full advantage, B and Zimmboni waiting.” Alexei pulled away to pull off his own clothes, and stepped past her to start the water. 

“I love your ass, baby.” She walked up behind him to grope him. 

“I’m love your ass. Show you how much, later.” He pushed his ass back into her groping hands. 

“Ok, your friends are waiting. Let’s be good.” She giggled, and they stepped into the shower. “How is the water warm already?”

“Infinity water heater.” Alexei pulled her in for a kiss under the spray. “Beautiful. Also, heated bathroom floors. Not on right now because summer.” 

“Ok, definitely staying here.” She ran a hand over his chest. “You win.” 

“Ha!” Alexei beamed at her. “Ok, we have to wash fast.” 

After their shower, they pulled on clothes. She found a sundress that wasn’t too wrinkled, and slipped on her sandals. Alexei pulled on shorts and a t-shirt from Devil’s Tower Wyoming. 

“Hey, ya’ll, um, sorry. Some of the team found out you guys got here.” Eric opened the door when they knocked. As they walked into the living room it erupted with cheers. 

“Tater!!!!!” Two fairly large guys, and a smaller one, plowed into Alexei to hug him. The four of them went down in a pile.

“It’s nice to see that pro athletes are the epitome of grace and sophistication all the time.” A guy to Gretchen’s left with light brown skin, green eyes and curly hair said. “Hey, I’m Nursey, this is my boyfriend Dex.” He indicated a tall redhead covered in freckles. “We’re staying with Jack and Bitty for Falconers’ prospect camp. We went to college with them.” 

“Nice to meet you, Gretchen.” She shook his hand, glancing over to the pile of hockey players on the floor to her right. “I’m engaged to the dork on the bottom.”

“Let me up, introduce you to best fiancee!” Alexei laughed, hugging the guys who had piled into him. 

“So, you agreed to marry this giant doofus?” Dex asked, watching the pile of of hockey players slowly separate, and help each other up. 

“Yeah, he won me over with his utter and complete lack of smooth.” She giggled as he got to his feet. 

“So smooth, win you over weeks ago.” Alexei snorted. “Gretchen, best friend Snowy, Poots, this is being Samwell goalie Chowder. Guys, is being Gretchen, best fiancee. Amazing make up artist, amazing artist, sweetest woman.” 

“Nice to meet you. Not sure what you see in this dork, but nice to meet you.” Snowy shook her hand. Snowy had pale skin, light brown hair, and a snapback cap on backwards. Poots was another redhead, without near so many freckles. 

“Worst, Snowy.” Alexei wrapped an arm around Gretchen. 

“Hi! Ohmygod! You guys met on the Bachelor?! I can’t wait to watch it!” Chowder, apparently, an excitable Chinese kid wearing a San Jose Sharks t-shirt and hat bounded up to her. “Tater is amazing! I’m so happy for you!” He hugged Gretchen tight.

“Hey, Snow! Quit monopolizing Tater and his Boo Thang!” someone yelled from across the room. 

“That is being Thirdy. Randall Robinson,” Alexei told her. “Next to him is being other old guys on team, Marty and Guy.” He steered her across the room. “You not bring Gabby and Christine?”

“Bitty said he was trying to keep it small, and there is no way we get a sitter on that kind of notice.” Thirdy, a Black man in his 30s, shook Gretchen’s hand. “Nice to meet you. About time someone made an honest man out of this asshole.” 

“Sebastien St. Martin, Marty, good to meet you. Gabby and I will have you over to dinner soon, don’t worry. We’ll invite Zimmboni and Eric, and Eric will take over our kitchen. Gabby loves that. Less work for her.” He shook her hand. Marty looked to be the oldest, with brown hair just starting to grey at the temples, and plenty of laugh lines around his eyes.

“Zimmboni! Over here!” Alexei waved as Gretchen shook hands with Marty and the quieter, dark-haired, bearded man to his left, Guy. “Zimmboni is being B’s fiance.” 

“I did see the news when you guys won the Cup.” Gretchen leaned in to kiss Alexei. “But I didn’t know they were engaged.” 

“We got engaged at his graduation.” Jack walked up, smiling. “Nice to meet you. I’m glad you guys got this figured out, because the pining texts were getting ridiculous.” Jack had the black hair and blue eyes she remembered from the photos that had been splashed across the internet when he’d kissed Eric at center ice after winning the Stanley Cup.

“Worst, Zimmboni.” Alexei stuck his tongue out at Jack. 

“For goodness’s sake, ya’ll give the girl a minute!” Eric walked over and handed her a glass. “I don’t know if you drink, it’s sangria. Even if you don’t, it might help dealing with this bunch.” 

“I do, thank you.” She took a sip. “Ok, wow. This is amazing. Mine never comes out like this.” 

“B is being best at everything with food.” Alexei grinned. 

“Please tell me you cook, hon. Because this one is hopeless,” Eric told her, an arm sliding around Jack’s waist.

“Mean!” Alexei held a hand to his heart. 

“He did warn me about that, sort of. Well, he told me the story where he set off the smoke alarm trying to make eggs.” Gretchen sipped the sangria again. 

“Worst.” Alexei scowled. “Need kisses to feel better.” 

“Yeah, ok.” She kissed him, and he smiled at her. 

“I’m change mind. Best.” He kissed her back. 

“So you got stuck trying to make Tater look good for two months? I hope they paid overtime.” Marty reached past her to take a beer from Snowy. 

“Eh, it could have been worse. I wasn’t Chris Harrison’s make up person. He has his own. I did the girls as well as Alexei.” Gretchen told them. “I was lead, we start out with about ten artists, and let them go as people get cut.” 

“My wife watches that show, and there is something not right about that man’s face.” Thirdy shook his head and took a drink of his beer. 

“Tell me about it.” Gretchen sipped her sangria, then rolled out her neck. “I am so glad to be done driving for awhile.” 

“Yes. Bronco is being roomie, but still.” Alexei took a beer from Bitty, his arm around Gretchen’s shoulders. “See so much of US. I’m have gifts for everyone. Will bring to training after we are unpacking.” 

“He made you stop at every single attraction along the way, didn’t he?” Eric asked. 

“Yup. And because my truck is a stick, he couldn’t spell me driving either.” Gretchen said. 

“Tater, you can’t drive stick?” Eric asked. 

“Who drives stick anymore?” Snowy interjected. Gretchen, Eric, and Dex all raised their hands. “Apart from you three Luddites.”

“People who like classic cars?” Gretchen suggested. 

“Or who do actual work with their trucks?” Dex suggested. 

“Ok, fine.” Snowy waved a hand and then looked over at Chowder. “Mario Kart?”

“Dex? Nursey?” Chowder asked. The four of them wandered over to the couch by the TV.

After a bit Eric sent Jack out to grill some chicken, steaks and hot dogs. After dinner there was pie. 

“Oh my god, Eric!” Gretchen squealed after her first bite of peach pie. “This is incredible! Are you magic?”

“He is.” Jack leaned over and kissed the top of Eric’s head. 

“Please tell me you make sweet potato pie. Although if it’s better than my Nana’s I cannot ever tell her.” Gretchen took another bite, and moaned. 

“Not used to you make those noises outside bedroom.” Alexei nudged her with his elbow. 

“Whatever, we fucked in my trailer on-site before we left.” She nudged back. 

“I like her.” Snowy snickered from further down the table, inhaling his own pie. 

“Lord, ya’ll.” Eric blushed. “Yes, I do make sweet potato pie. I’ll make you one and you can let me know.” 

After pie, Gretchen found herself nodding off, curled up on Alexei’s lap, listening to the conversations around them. 

“Ready for bed, sleepy girl?” Alexei kissed the top of her head. 

“Yeah, it’s been a long couple of weeks.” She yawned, and let Thirdy help her to her feet. 

“It’s great meeting you. I gotta get back to Christine and the kids. Bitty’s sending a pie as a peace offering.” He pulled her into a hug. “Welcome to the family, kiddo.” 

“Thanks.” She hugged him back. “I can’t wait to meet Christine and the kids.” 

“Have a good night.” Marty walked up and hugged her, too. “I think my apology pie is also ready. We’ll have a barbecue at our place next weekend. We’ll see you there. Gabby is so excited to meet you.” 

Guy nodded, following the other two out. All three of them left with pies. 

“Come on, get you in bed.” Alexei steered her toward the door. 

“Have a good night, ya’ll! Brunch at 11 here if you want.” Eric waved from the couch, where he was embroiled in the Mario Kart tournament. 

“It’s good to meet you. Tater’s been so happy.” Jack walked them to the door. “We’ll see you for brunch.” 

“Yeah, thanks for being so welcoming.” Gretchen hugged him. Jack awkwardly hugged her back.

“See you in morning, Zimmboni!” Alexei hugged him, too. As they walked into the hallway, to go down the hall to Alexei’s apartment, Gretchen giggled. 

“Zimmboni, like zamboni.” 

“Ok, maybe should have cut you off sooner, drinky girl.” Alexei tugged her along to his, their, apartment. 

“It was such good sangria!” Gretchen sighed, as he let them in. 

“I’m tell you, B is being very good at food and things.” Alexei closed and locked the door then pulled her in for a long kiss. “Welcome home, golubka.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's like I can't stop writing it. I am weirdly invested.


	3. Meet the Falcs' Significant Others

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The day after they get to Providence, a few of the Falcs's wives and girlfriends show up for brunch. 
> 
> (See notes for some explanation)

Gretchen woke up in the morning, Alexei cuddling her and humming softly. 

“What’re you singing?” she mumbled into his chest. 

“Russian song about love.” He kissed the top of her head, and started humming again, the melody from “All You Need is Love.” 

“You lie, that’s the Beatles.” She pushed herself up, to squint at him. “I drank way too much sangria.” 

“Hungover?” He reached up to stroke her cheek. “Beautiful.” 

“Not too bad, but my mouth tastes awful, so I’m not kissing you until I brush my teeth.” She stayed where she was for a moment, before slumping back down to bury her face in his chest again. “You’re comfy.” 

“Thought I’m was lumpy and hard.” He stroked her shoulder. 

“That’s your thighs.” She exhaled. “I like your lumpy, hard thighs.” 

“I’m got something else hard for you, if you are wanting.” He rolled his hips to the side and poked her with his cock. 

“Ok, going to brush my teeth, and then you are fucking me in that shower.” She pushed herself up again. “Love you.” 

“Love you.” He smiled at her. “Most beautiful.” 

“Your face is beautiful.” She scooted to the edge of the bed, and stood up. “Oh, I am so stiff after driving for two weeks.” 

“Can go get massage. Gabby and Christine have place they like.” He folded his arms behind his head, watching her. “I’m can text.” 

“You know what, yeah. I think I could go for a massage. We don’t have anything else to do today, do we?” She stretched. 

“Brunch at B and Zimmboni’s at 11, then no. Can’t really go out yet. Just have to come back here and find ways to entertain ourselves.” He smiled. 

“I’m sure we can do that, in between laundry.” She turned to look over her shoulder at him. 

“Romance is already being gone!” He sighed dramatically. 

“I didn’t say we had to be clothed to do the laundry.” She winked, and sauntered into the bathroom. 

“We come back from brunch spend rest of day naked? Ok.” She could hear him climbing out of bed behind her. “I’m like your plan.” 

“I have the best plans.” She went to brush her teeth. 

“Baby, so beautiful.” He stood in the doorway, watching her. “So glad I’m realize how much you are meaning to me.” 

“I’m glad, too.” She spit out her toothpaste and repeated herself intelligibly. “I’m glad, too.” 

“Time for kisses?” He walked up and kissed her neck. “I’m already brush teeth. Been awake at least hour.” 

“Did you just lay there and watch me sleep?” She leaned back to look at his face. 

“No. I’m get up, brush teeth, start laundry already, come back to bed and read waiting for you to wake up, too.” He kissed her. 

“Aww, you started laundry already?” She kissed him back. “I love you so much.” 

“I’m love you, too. Shower.” He nudged her toward it. 

When they knocked on the door to Jack and Eric’s apartment, they heard voices again. 

“Gabby, Christine, Isabelle, and Jenna showed up, and left the guys with the kids,” Eric told them. “Poots said he thought he should be able to come too, because he doesn’t have a wife or girlfriend, and they chased him out.” Eric looked at Gretchen. “You sure you want to hitch yourself to this guy? He comes with all these weirdoes.” 

“Yeah, I think he’s worth it.” She leaned in to kiss Alexei. 

“I’m remember this for later.” He beamed at her and they went in. 

“Tater!” Four women chorused, sitting on the sofas. A tall, elegant Black woman in a yellow sundress, with a curtain of long braids stood up. 

“You must be Gretchen. I’m Christine Robinson.” She pulled Gretchen in for a hug. “Randall and I put Tater up when he first got to the states. He and Randall both played for the Rangers.” She lowered her voice to a stage whisper. “I have baby pictures of him at 18.” 

“I literally cannot wait to see those.” Gretchen laughed. Bitty slipped a mimosa into her hand. 

“You’re going to have to catch up, we got here half an hour ago!” An older blonde woman called. “I’m Gabby St. Martin! It’s lovely to meet you! I am so glad Tater pulled his head out and went for it.” She stood up to come hug Gretchen as well. “Gabby, she is being most beautiful, not sure she is liking me!” Gabby imitated Alexei’s accent, dropping her voice into a lower register. 

“Gabby, worst!” Alexei stuck his tongue out at her. 

“‘Allo!” A tall brunette in red and navy with short hair walked over. “I am Isabelle, Guy’s wife.” She gave Gretchen air kisses. She spoke with a thick French accent. “The other blonde over there is Jenna. She is dating Snowy.” 

“Hi! I will not mob you, mostly because Gabby has a mean hip check.” Jenna waved. “Also, I have the pitcher of mimosas.” 

“I will be taking it easy today, because Eric’s Sangria snuck up on me last night,” Gretchen told them, before taking a sip of her own mimosa. 

“Oooh, Eric makes the best Sangria!” Jenna agreed. 

“Come sit down!” Gabby said. 

“Where’s Jack, and um, Nursey and Dex and Chowder?” Gretchen asked. 

“Our house with Randall, Sebastian, Guy and the kids,” Christine said. “Cowards.” 

“I don’t know. If they thought they were getting off light dealing with a house full of giggling teenaged girls, they were sadly mistaken.” Gabby shook her head. “They’re sixteen going on thirty-five, going on grounded until they’re sixty if they do not cool it.” 

“I give it less than an hour before Poots flees,” Jenna said. “He’s a sweet kid, but he’s barely older than they are, and still susceptible to their evil.” 

Christine and Gabby steered her to the couch, Tater took one of the chairs. 

“When Tater told us he was going on the Bachelor, we were all dubious. So dubious,” Christine told her. “I am so glad he found someone who fits him.” 

“You are caring!” Alexei beamed. 

“Alexei, I let you watch my kids when you were 18 and spoke no English. Of course I care about you, you ridiculous potato.” Christine reached over and patted his knee. She leaned back over to Gretchen. “I have video of him doing my youngest’s hair. She bullied him relentlessly until he learned how from watching Youtube.” 

“He’s kind of amazing at it, actually.” Jenna told Gretchen. 

“Randall and I went out to dinner, and when we came back, the girls had perfect little afropuffs.” Christine smiled at Alexei. 

“Is being my speciality.” Alexei beamed back. 

“She made him do her hair for her birthday this year.” Christine leaned over so Jenna could refill her drink. She set the full drink on the coffee table, and pulled out her phone. “Here’s the video.” She held out the phone to Gretchen, who covered her mouth, eyes wide as she watched Alexei settle himself on the floor, and a little Black girl, about 10 or so years old sat between his legs. 

“That’s Pearl.” Christine told her. 

“What you are wanting, princess?’ Alexei asked in the video.

“Twists.” She sat there, and he started to work on her hair, undoing the braids she had, and then dividing it, using hair oil on it, until he had four perfect twists. Then he brushed down her baby hairs. 

“There you are going.” He held a mirror out for her, and she turned and hugged him. 

“Thank you, Tater!!!!” 

“Oh my god!” Gretchen looked over at him. “You didn’t tell me?”

“It is not coming up.” He shrugged. “Only thing you are doing is dyeing it brown so we are not stand out so much.” 

“I cannot wait to see the show!” Jenna squeaked. “Are you going to watch it?”

“No.” Gretchen shook her head. “It was hard enough living it. I do not need to relive Alexei making out with all those other girls.” 

“I’m not thinking I’m want watch either, except maybe finale.” Alexei watched Gretchen’s face. “That show I’m maybe want watch.” 

“I mean, you guys can,” Gretchen told them. “But it got hard around the 3rd week of filming and just kept getting harder.” 

“I can’t even imagine,” Christine patted her shoulder. “I do want to watch, even if only to see what a giant dork Tater was.” 

“Rude, Christine.” Tater sniffed. 

“Ok, ya’ll, French toast and waffles are up.” Eric set platters of food on the table. 

“I mean, it is probably the weirdest way any of us have gotten together,” Jenna said as they got up to move to the table. 

“I don’t know, mine was kind of weird.” Gabby sat, and snagged some French toast before passing the platter to Gretchen. “I had just done a Playboy spread, and this ad company wanted me for a razor commercial with Marty. He was so nervous he kept forgetting how to speak English. The director was getting really annoyed, and finally I told him if he got it right, he and I could go out for drinks afterward.” Gabby took a bite of her French toast. “One take after that, and we’ve been married for 17 years now.” 

“Randall played hockey in college, at Yale. I was majoring in Architecture, and one of my sorority sisters set us up. He was cute, and that hockey butt.” She winked at Gretchen. 

“I know, right?” Gretchen, Eric, and Jenna all chorused. 

“Ugh, Christine! I’m have to play with him!” Alexei gagged. 

“Tater, no way is this worse than the night you walked in on us in the kitchen,” Christine snickered. 

“Thank you for bring up painful and scarring memory.” Alexei narrowed his eyes at her. 

“I have never heard this story.” Eric leaned forward, sipping his own mimosa. 

“Worst, B.” Alexei scrunched up his face. 

“Randall and I went to a costume party as Storm and Black Panther, long before the movie, and we thought Alexei and the kids were all asleep, so we were fooling around in the kitchen with some whipped cream.” Christine giggled. 

“Worst. Like walk in on parents.” Alexei sighed loudly. “I’m have to eat on that table. Spend all day next day washing with bleach.” 

“I worked at a local strip club, and Snowy kept coming in, and coming in, and coming in, and he was sweet, so I told him it’d probably be cheaper for him if we just dated.” Jenna shrugged. 

“Guy’s cousin bring him to Cannes for the film festival. I did some films when I was younger. Anyway, all these guys are, um, how you say, peacocking? And there is this great big guy, very quiet, standing in the corner. I asked him if he was someone’s bodyguard. He said he was an enforcer, then explained he meant in hockey. We spent all night talking on the balcony of someone’s room.” Isabelle sighed. “I lost a shoe, so he carried me back to my room. He went back to Quebec, I stayed in France, and we talked on the phone, and wrote letters and email, and finally he asked me to come to live with him, because ‘I miss you so much it is affecting my game.’” She laughed. “So romantic.” 

An hour and a half later, Jack, Dex, Nursey, Chowder and Snowy arrived. 

“Your husbands would like a reprieve,” Jack told them. “The girls chased Poots off by 11:15.” 

“Oh, is that French toast?” Snowy slid into a seat, and speared a piece off the platter.

“Who had 11:15 in the pool?” Eric asked. 

“I did! Yes!” Jenna pumped her fist. “Give me those sweet mani-pedi gift cards, ladies.” 

“We scare you off yet?” Gabby asked Gretchen, as Christine pulled out her phone to call a car service. 

“Nah, I worked in TV.” Gretchen waved a hand, very proud of herself that she’d only had three mimosas. She sat on Alexei’s lap, his arm around her waist. 

“We should go back to apartment.” Alexei kissed the side of her head. “Need to switch laundry, and I’m was promised naked time.” 

“Oh, can’t interfere with that!” Christine laughed. “It was lovely meeting you, Gretchen! I know you can’t really do much publicly until the show airs, but we can definitely have you over for game nights at me or Gabby’s.”

“And Marty and I are having a BBQ this weekend. Bring a suit. We have a pool.” Gabby got up and got her purse. “I hope you like dogs. We have the biggest doofiest golden retriever ever.” 

“I love dogs, cats, all animals, really.” Gretchen stood up to hug Gabby and Christine good-bye.

“Oh, and Eric showed us your costume make-up instagram. We are definitely calling you in to pinch hit on Halloween costumes,” Christine told her. “Hell, if you wanted to do, I don’t know, a clinic on costume/Halloween make up I will pay you. Some of the shit they get off the internet. We’ve already had one bad skin reaction.” 

“Oh, yeah. I can do that.” Gretchen winced. “We’ll talk.” 

“I would so greatly appreciate it.” Christine hugged her as her phone dinged. “Ok, car’s here. We’ll see you guys next weekend.” She walked over and pinched Alexei’s cheek. “You treat her right, young man.” 

“Yes, mom.” Alexei rolled his eyes at her. 

“I know you don’t talk to your mother like that.” Christine ruffled his hair. And she and Gabby were gone. 

“You look like you need a break,” Jenna laughed. “You get used to it. And we don’t usually drink this much.” 

“Don’t lie to her like that, Jenna hon.” Eric shook his head. “Granted, usually we do pace ourselves better.” 

“Yeah, I promised someone naked time.” Gretchen grabbed Alexei’s hands. “And we do have so much laundry.” 

“So much. “ Alexei nodded, standing up. “Thank you for brunch, B.” 

“Yes, it was incredible. I feel like I’m going to have to start working out like Alexei not to gain a million pounds.” Gretchen told him. 

“Thanks, ya’ll.” Eric waved. “These boys’ll help me clean up the leftovers.” 

“Such a chore,” Nursey sat down and grabbed a waffle. 

“Come on, baby. Let’s get naked.” Gretchen tugged on Alexei’s hands. 

“Ok!” Alexei followed her out the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, literally the only spouse who gets name checked in the comic is Gabby, Marty's wife. I made up wives/girlfriends for Thirdy, Guy, and Snowy. Because Providence is a recent expansion team it made sense that pretty much everyone on the team except for recent rookies had played elsewhere in the NHL. And given that young rookies often live with other more experienced players, or so I've heard, I've had baby Tater live with Thirdy and his family when they played on the Rangers when Tater first arrived in the US.


	4. Domestic Bliss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After brunch, a chance to relax.

Chapter 4 

In the apartment, Alexei pulled her close again. 

“I’m being happiest you are here with me.” He held her close, breathing in the scent of her hair. “Glad you are getting along with Christine, Gabby, Jenna and B. Christine pull me aside, tell me she really like you.” 

“I’m glad. I can tell she means a lot to you.” Gretchen rested her cheek against his chest. 

“Can’t wait for you to meet kids.” Alexei chuckled. “Pearl going to give you stink-eye at first, but she will come around.” 

“I cannot believe you taught yourself to do hair from youtube videos.” Gretchen giggled. 

“Found channel by Black single Dad with daughters. He had to learn, taught so other guys can understand.” Alexei shrugged. “Seemed easier than pretending I’m can not understanding what she say for next 7 months.” 

“I think it’s because you are a big, giant softie, is what I think.” Gretchen kissed him. “I think that little girl had your number from day one.” 

“I’m prefer you are having my number.” He kissed her back. “Can do your hair in afropuffs you are wanting.” 

“Baby, my hair is so long, they would be the size of my head.” She leaned into him. 

“I’m like challenge.” He started walking her toward the bedroom. “Need to switch laundry, then getting naked.” 

“Mmm hmmm…” She let herself be walked backwards toward the bedroom. 

“Should clear half of dresser, make room for you clothes.” He looked thoughtful. “Or can buy you dresser. There is being room.” 

“I have a dresser, kind of.” She frowned at him. 

“You are having bunch of milk crates in different colors. Cannot believe I am being adult here.” Alexei bumped noses with her. “Also, am getting you bookcases, real bookcases for make-up and art books.” He paused. “I’m maybe have plan.” He kissed her. 

“A plan, huh?” She let him kiss her again. 

“Yes, step one, get you naked.” He tugged at the hem of her shirt. “Off, please.” 

“Ok.” She let him pull her shirt over her head, then reached for the hem of his. “Fair’s fair.” 

“Yes, are being right.” He pulled his t-shirt off, while she shimmied out of her skirt. He glanced toward the balcony doors. “Curtains are being shut, good.” 

“Mmmm, yeah. Network’d be pretty pissed if we spoiled the ending of the show with a sex tape.” She ran her hands over his chest. 

“True.” Alexei kissed her, and reached around her to unhook her bra. “Not too warm today, maybe soak in tub, can both fit. Relax, spend time in bed, trade off who switch laundry.” He smiled at her. “Order delivery.” 

“That sounds nice.” She unbuttoned his jeans. “How about we fuck, first, then soak and do laundry?”

“Mmm, you go get rest of way undressed, I’m switch laundry, be right in.” He hissed in a breath as she cupped his cock through his boxers. “So sexy.” 

“That’s what you keep telling me.” She smiled up at him. 

A couple hours later, they lounged on his couch. Alexei wore boxers and she wore one of his jerseys, arguing over what to watch while they waited for delivery. 

“Baby, no. The make-up in that is atrocious.” She wrinkled her nose as he flipped through the queue. “What are we doing tomorrow?”

“I’m have training in morning, all morning. Leave for run at 6am. Zimmboni give endless shit I’m come back out of shape.” Alexei said, kissing the top of her head. “I’m think B say that Lardo is being done with school for summer, maybe can go look at studios.” 

“That is a terrible nickname.” Gretchen stretched. 

“She is being former hockey team manager for Samwell, B and Zimmboni college. Art major. Tiny Asian girl.” He wrapped an arm around her, and hugged her. “Maybe go shopping. Going to need warm clothes soon. Gets cold here.” 

“Oh, yeah. I’ve been in LA for the last five or so years.” She twisted around to cuddle against his chest. “Mmmm, love you.”

“Love you.” He kissed the top of her head. “So beautiful. Wish I’m could take you shopping, have to settle for you model for me here.” 

“I need to find a hair salon.” She buried her face in his chest. “Christine gave me the number for hers, but, um, I don’t known.” 

“You are being afraid it is being too bougie?” Alexei asked. 

“Oh my God! You did not.” Gretchen started laughing. “But yes, yes, I am.” 

“Lena, oldest, is agree with that. Go to different place. Can text her for name.” Alexei said. “Kids having my number in case need rides.” 

“I need to sort through my make up.” She kissed her way up his chest. “I’ll need to scope out the stores around here for what’s available, see what I need to order online. There’s colleges with theater departments, so that won’t be too hard.” 

“What you needing for art studio?” Alexei kissed her when she reached his lips. 

“Mmm, I need to go through my boxes. Probably need new paints, pastels last a long ass time, pencils and charcoal are forever. If I decide to do some sculpture, I’ll need clay.” She straddled his hips. “Maybe I’ll have you pose for me.”

“Draw me like one of your French girls?” He smiled against her lips. “You make me hard, you are having to answer door when food get here.” 

“Mmmm, what if I take care of that before the food gets here?” She asked, teasing his lips with her tongue. “How long did they say?”

“Forty minutes.’ He closed his eyes, lips parting. “So sexy.” 

“And how long have we been fighting over the Netflix queue?” She rolled her hips down against his. 

“10.” Alexei gripped one of her hips, grinding up against her. 

“Think I can get you off in under half an hour?” She slid fingers up into his hair and tugged. 

“Good thing I’m hide condoms in couch cushion.” His other hand appeared, with a condom in it. 

“When did you do that?” She giggled, and reached down to shove his boxers out of the way. 

“This morning while you are sleeping. I’m think ahead.” He inhaled suddenly as she wrapped a hand around his cock, stroking. 

“You want me to ride you, baby?” She kissed him, hard. 

“Yes, so much, so sexy!” Alexei tore the condom packet open with his teeth, then let her roll it onto him, watching her with half-lidded eyes. “Golubka, so beautiful! Sexiest!” 

“Your face is sexy.” She stroked him a few more times, then sank down onto him with a soft moan, eyelids fluttering shut. “You feel so good, sweetheart!” She braced one hand on his chest and the other on the back of the couch, rolling her hips, pushing herself down on him. “Fuck! You feel good!” 

He slid his hands up her body under the jersey to cup her breasts, thumbs rubbing over her nipples, breath coming harder as she moved faster on top of him. 

“So good, golubka, so good!” One hand dropped down, thumb sliding between her labia to brush over her clit, as she moved. “Want make you come, baby!” 

“Fuck, Alexei! Right there, fuck! Like that!” She moved faster, grinding down harder until her thighs tightened around his hips and she went rigid for a moment. Bending his knees to plant one foot on the sofa and one foot on the floor, he thrust up into her a few more times. 

“Gretchen!” He thrust hard enough to lift them both off the couch for a moment, then collapsed back down. Gretchen fell forward and kissed him, hands on either side of his head. 

“Alexei, sweetheart, so good! Love you!” She panted, covering his face in kisses. “Holy shit, you feel amazing.” 

“You.” He smiled and kissed her more deeply. “Have to go deal with condom.” 

“I know, just give me a sec.” She braced herself and lifted off of him, easing off his cock, then scooted back until she could sit on her heels. “I cannot wait until we don’t have to deal with those anymore.” 

“I know, golubka. We agree. Three months, get test again, then if all clear, no more condoms.” He sat up to tug the condom off and tie it in a knot. “Going to throw this away, wash hands.” 

“I should too, I have lube all over them from putting it on you.” She watched him get up to walk to the kitchen. “You are so hot.” 

“You are being hot.” He made a face at her, dropped the condom in the trash, and went to the sink to wash his hands. “Shower after food get here.”

“I could live with that.” She got up to join him in the kitchen, and washed her hands after he finished with his. The laundry buzzer sounded. “And I’ll go deal with that. I have delicate stuff to put in next.” 

“Ok. I’m wait for food.” He leaned down to kiss her. “So happy you are being here with me.” 

“Me, too.” She wrapped her arms around his waist and hugged him tight. “Every so often I think about what if you hadn’t.” She trailed off, closing her eyes. 

“I’m did, golubka. I’m could never go with anyone else knowing I’m loving you so much.” He hugged her back. “Worst case, I say no to both, come home, pine until Christine and Gabby put me on plane to come find you.” 

“They would, wouldn’t they?” She giggled into his chest, then looked up at him with wet eyes. 

“Get call from Christine that morning, telling me not to be dumbass.” Alexei bent down to kiss her. “After first week of filming, could not have been anyone else. I’m knowing that now.” 

“I hate that we went through that whole ordeal when we could’ve been doing this the whole time.” She buried her face in his chest again. 

“Sorry I’m being little slow on uptake.” He kissed the top of her head. D

“No, if anyone was slow on the uptake it was me.” She sighed. “I’m the one who thought there was no way anyone who looked like you surrounded by those tall, thin gorgeous girls could possibly want me.” 

“Is being ok, we figure out.” He rubbed her back. “Little confused why you think they are being any more pretty than you.” He chuckled. “Most prettiest.” 

“Alexei, do not make me ruin this moment by giving you a lecture on western beauty standards and Black women,” she mumbled into his chest.

“I’m know.” He kissed the top of her head again. “I’m thinking you are being most beautiful I’m ever see. Love you so much.” 

“I love you, too, baby.” She lifted her head for more kisses. 

“Go switch laundry, I’m put on shirt before food get here.” He kissed her, cradling her face in his hand. 

Gretchen took a deep breath and pulled away to go switch the laundry. By the time she had everything in lingerie bags, and/or turned inside out, and in the machine, the food arrived. 

“I’m hope you are liking this place, is being my favorite Chinese food.” Alexei set out plates and silverware. “What you are wanting to drink?”

“Just water, I have had so much booze in the last two days.” She came out of the bedroom, still wearing his jersey, but she’d pulled on a pair of shorts under it. “I do not, appearances aside, usually drink like that.” 

“I’m don’t either. Would not last season if I’m did.” He leaned over to kiss her, pulling out food cartons. “Maybe after we are eating, text B, see if Lardo take you to look at studios while I’m being at training.” 

“Yeah, ok.” She sat. “Oh, it does smell good!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Does this count as explicit? I'm never sure. My sense of smut is kind of skewed by my reading habits.


	5. Getting Settled

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gretchen meets Lardo, Alexei maintains best fiance status.

Gretchen stirred briefly when Alexei kissed her good-bye before heading out for his run at 6. She did finally wake up around 8:30, when she got a text from him. 

Taterbaby: I’m miss you! Love you! 

And a string of heart and kissing emojis. 

Gretchen laughed, texted him back a bunch of heart and peach emojis, got an eggplant in return, and got out of bed to take a shower and get dressed. By the time she was done she had another text, from Eric. 

ErictheBitty: Lardo says she can meet you at the bakery where I work at 10. That work?  
Me: Yeah, I just got out of the shower. I can make ten. 

“Lardo” turned out to be Larissa Duan, who was indeed a tiny Vietnamese-American girl with short hair, dressed like a cross between one of the hockey players and an art school student. 

“Hey, nice to meet you.” Lardo slid into a seat across from Gretchen at the bakery/coffee shop where Eric worked part-time for “walking around money” and to keep busy while Jack was training and on the road. 

“Nice to meet you, I’m Gretchen.” Gretchen shook her hand. “Do I have to call you Lardo, because that feels wrong to me.” 

“Nah, you can call me Larissa.” She smiled at Gretchen. “So you got our giant Russian potato to settle down, huh? He tell you about the time I obliterated him at beer pong?”

“No, and I need this story like breathing.” Gretchen laughed, sipping her coffee. 

“Lardo, you made it!” Eric walked over with a coffee for her and pastries for the both of them. 

“I was just about to tell her about beating Tater’s ass at beer pong.” Lardo stood up to hug Eric. 

“Lord, yes. That boy talks a good game about drinking, but he was not up to American college drinking game standards.” Eric sat down with them for a few minutes. 

“He admitted last night that all the drinking we’ve done since we got here was more than he usually does.” Gretchen laughed. “Cannot drink like that all time, or Zimmboni yell.” 

“Jack wouldn’t yell,” Eric said. 

“No, he’d just give him the disapproving Dad look, like Tater kicked his puppy or something.” Lardo giggled. “I feel so bad for your future kids, Bitty.” 

“I feel worse for us with Bob and Alicia as grandparents, oh Lord.” Eric rolled his eyes. “Not that mine are going to be any better. Mama’s already stockpiling onesies. We aren’t even married yet!” He dropped his head onto the table. “Ya’ll… I thought I escaped this not being a girl.” 

“Mmm, my mom was pretty well-behaved. My grandmothers, however.” Gretchen sighed and picked up a scone. “‘Girl, put them child-bearin’ hips to work!” 

“No!” Lardo laughed. “They did not!” 

“They did. And that was the German grandma, who is usually pretty reserved.” Gretchen sighed. “Just my luck, now is when she’s discovered ‘spritzers.’”

“Oh, she didn’t used to drink did she?” Eric asked laughed. “My MeeMaw did the same thing. Some time in her 60s she decided that she’d been missing out.” 

“And then off go the filters, and there is so much truth that the family is not prepared for,” Gretchen shook her head. “I think it was when she announced to the entire family, both families, that my mom was far too pretty for my Dad, and she never understood it.” 

“This was your Daddy’s Mama, right?” Eric asked. 

“Yup.” Gretchen nodded. “Right about then is when my Aunt Willie took her booze away. ‘Joy, you are too beautiful to settle for my Gerhard. I love him, but I am his mother.’ My Dad is laughing so hard he can’t breathe, Alexei looks torn between amused and horrified. Nana Daisy yelled at Willie to give Grandma Gretchen back her booze so she’d drink herself quiet. Oh my god, you guys! And of course the film crew is there. They promised they’d cut that part out.” Gretchen wiped her eyes. 

“So you’re named after your grandmother?” Lardo asked. 

“Both of them. Gretchen Daisy Mueller.” Gretchen rolled her eyes. 

“Wow.” Lardo snickered. “Could have been worse.” 

“Yeah, I could have been named after my aunts, Wilhemina Aretha.” She let her head fall back. “Why do people do this to their children?”

“Lack of creativity?” Lardo suggested. “Family pressure? I dunno. Ask Dickie junior over here.” Lardo nudged Eric. 

“You are just mean, Larissa Duan.” Eric sniffed. 

“Come on, finish your scone. I have a few places for us to scout.” Lardo smiled, as she sipped her coffee. 

“Hi!” Gretchen walked in and saw Alexei putting away groceries. “You went grocery shopping?” 

“B take me shopping. Say you tell him we have no food not come out of box or microwave tray from meal service. Mean.” He leaned over to kiss her when she walked up. 

“He already knew that, baby. And I would like to cook you dinner. I cannot do that with no ingredients.” She smiled, kissed him, and went to the fridge. “Oh, you started a pitcher of iced tea!” 

“B is doing. B is also saying he is not understanding how you can drink without being sweet”. Alexei finished emptying the bag he had in front of him. “Also go to cooking store, buy some pans and things.” He set the bag aside, and walked over to wrap his arms around her. “Just few things. Let you pick you what you are wanting mostly. Is being your home now too.” 

“How are you real? You are so sweet.” She stretched up to kiss him. “Thank you, sweetheart.”

“Thank me in bedroom?” He waggled his eyebrows at her. 

“Dork.” She giggled. “Can I thank you in the bathtub? Because we walked all over today. “

“Find anything good?”Alexei bent and scooped her up in his arms, bridal style. She squeaked, arms going around his neck. 

“Damn, you’re strong.” She giggled and nuzzled his neck. 

“Hope so, am being professional athlete.” He carried her toward the bedroom.

“Did Jack give you any crap about being out of shape?” She rested her head on his shoulder. 

“No, said I obviously kept up with cardio somehow.” Alexei snickered, turning sideways to make it through the bedroom door. “You find studio?”

“We found a couple of possibilities. Rent is way cheaper here than LA.” She let him set her gently on the bed. “I can afford it for quite awhile without having to get a job if I want. Honestly, I suspect this place probably costs about the same as my shoebox in LA.” She kicked off her shoes, and flopped back on the bed. “This is a much smaller city.” 

“I’m tell you, can cover it for you.” Alexei leaned over her, stroking her cheek. 

“Baby, we talked about this.” She took his hand, lacing her fingers through his. “I am not looking for a Sugar Daddy.” 

“I’m know, just want to take care of you.” He squeezed her hand. 

“I know, let’s ease into that. I already agreed to let you keep footing the bill for this place.” She smiled at him. 

“Ok, you pay for studio. Let me buy you supplies for it?” He leaned down to kiss her. 

“We’ll see.” She slid her free hand into his hair. 

“Wanting to spoil you.” He kissed her nose. 

“You already do, baby. Now let me up so we can go fool around in the bathtub.” She let Alexei pull her into a sitting position. “Tomorrow I think I’ll try to make a final decision and then do all the stuff like getting local license plates and all that. Ugh, I’ll have to take a driver’s test, won’t I?” 

“I’m mean, if Poots can pass, probably not bad.” Alexei snickered. “Ok, come on. We get you soaking in tub, rest tired feet. Maybe even rub them for you.” 

“See? You do spoil me.” She let him tug her into the bathroom.


	6. The Studio

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gretchen picks her studio, the POD arrives, and they talk about what kind of sex they like. Also mention of Kent Parson's sexuality being the worst kept secret in the NHL.

Chapter 6

“Baby, where goin’?” Gretchen opened one eye. 

“Run and training. Rest day is being tomorrow.” He leaned down and kissed her forehead. “Go back to sleep.” 

“K. Love you.” She curled into the bedding. 

Gretchen sat at the island that divided the kitchen from the rest of the apartment, tapping away at her laptop when Alexei got home from training. He walked over to kiss her cheek. 

“Missed you.” She turned her head to kiss him quickly. 

“What you are doing?” He walked over to the refrigerator and opened it. “Salads are being for lunch?”

“Yeah, I asked Eric for some recipes or tips for how to cook for you and not blow your meal plan. Trust me, Grandma Gretchen’s German Potato salad is not going to cut it.” She looked up. “I have been chatting with the team nutritionist and he agreed to send me a bunch of recipes. Eric promised to help me make them palatable.” 

“Good. Greg is being good nutritionist, is not being so good a cook, I’m think.” Alexei brought the salads out, tucking a bottle of water under his arm. “For you, too?”

“Seriously, we ate like shit all the way here, and then that gigantic BBQ with my family, and then so much pie.” She groaned, letting her head fall back. “And drinking.” 

“Ok. You are not having to eat same things, but I’m not tell you what to do.” Alexei set the salads out, and went to get forks. “We are need dressing or are having stuff already?”

“They are already dressed, with a sesame oil dressing recipe that I picked up from a friend in LA.” Gretchen closed her laptop, and watched Alexei, smiling. “You are gorgeous.” 

“Even all gross and sweaty? Take shower after I’m eat.” He sat on the stool next to her. “Hi.” 

“Hi.” She smiled, and leaned in for a long kiss. “Still sexy.” 

“Glad you are think so even when I’m being stinky.” He picked up his fork. 

“Mmm, hmm.” She nudged him with her elbow. “Just another excuse to shower with you. Also, if I eat the same things you do, I don’t have to cook two meals.” 

“There is being that.” He nodded. “Oh, salad dressing is being very nice. Little spicy?”

“Yeah, there’s some red pepper flakes in there.” She picked up her own fork. “I sautéed the chicken. Greg said broil, and I said, no. I did use olive oil.” 

“What else you would use?” He took another bite. 

“Well, Nana Daisy would use bacon grease.” She glanced over at Alexei. 

“Mmmm, have had chicken breast with prosciutto, so I’m can see that.” Alexei nodded. “This turn out very nice.” 

“Thanks, sweetheart.” She relaxed a little, visibly. 

“Why you are worried? You cook for me in LA before we hit road,” Alexei asked. 

“I don’t know. I haven’t actually cooked for anyone all that often.” She shrugged. 

“I’m think you are do fantastic job.” He grinned at her. “You get all your stuff done?” 

“I researched how to get all my stuff done, and I did the stuff I could do online.” She stabbed a piece of chicken. “I wanted to be here when you got home.” 

“I’m being glad.” He reached over and took her hand. “I’m love you so much.” 

“I love you, too. Let’s finish lunch and then do unspeakable things in your shower.” She squeezed his hand.

“I’m have feeling we are going to blow all my rest days.” He grinned at her. “Can’t keep hands off you.”

After lunch and a shower, then a nap, she rolled over to look at him. 

“I do need to pick up the keys to my studio today.” She pulled him close and he wrapped his arms around her resting his head on her chest.

“You make decision?” He kissed her breasts. 

“Yeah, I thought it over and the one definitely had better light. And we can put some of the stuff from my apartment in it to make it comfortable, like my drafting table and my futon, when my Pod gets here.” She wrapped her arms around his head. “And my milk crates that you hate so much.”

“Not hate your milk crates. Just thinking are not being dresser.” He lifted his head and scooted up to kiss her. 

“Ok, you may have a point.” She stroked his hair. “Love you.” 

“Love you. Call Pod company, have them deliver to studio, can get some of guys to help unload, anyone ask tell them you are being Christine’s cousin.” Alexei rolled to the side to stretch. 

“Christine and I don’t look anything alike.” She snorted.

“And you and cousin Hans not look anything alike either.” He snuggled close again. 

“Ok, point.” She kissed the top of his head. 

“We should get up, take quick shower, go get keys, maybe take walk through park or something. Show you little of Providence.” He wrapped himself completely around her. “Hate not taking you out, show everyone beautiful, most beautiful fiancee.” 

“Yeah, I kind of hate it, too.” She wriggled around until she could wrap herself comfortably around him as well. “Actually, I completely hate it.” 

“Wonder how bad if we are fucking up before show airs?” He sighed. “Ok. Sooner we are do this, sooner we are able come back here not pretend.” 

The studio was relatively small, a little smaller than her apartment in LA, but it had a wall of windows, and being on the top floor, had a skylight. 

“And, being in an historical building, has a very small elevator that was put in, in the 20s or something.” She told him, after they’d walked up the six flights of stairs to the top floor. 

“I’m think only things we are have to carry up stairs will be top of drafting table and futon frame. Everything else you are having break down small.” Alexei told her. “Is very nice space, with ok view. At least not look onto alley or blank brick wall.” 

“At least there’s that.” She hugged him. “It will be nice to have a space just for art.” 

“Give you things to do while I’m being on road.” He hugged her back. “Is not being easy, I’m know.” 

“It will be better once we can just be, baby.” She rested her head against his chest. 

“I’m know.” He kissed the top of her head. “Season not start yet, already worried about miss you.” 

The Pod arrived Friday. Alexei volun-told several of the younger players, and Nursey, Dex and Chowder that they were helping. Marty and Thirdy came along to “supervise.” Gretchen went into the Pod and told the guys which things went up to the studio, and which went into Tater or Jack’s truck to go back to the apartment. 

Eric promised everyone pie afterward. 

The unloading of the Pod had only taken about an hour, if that. Alexei had bribed the delivery guy to stick around and just take it once they were done. There had been some additional sorting on the sidewalk, and another thirty minutes of moving boxes up to Alexei’s apartment. 

“I’ll unpack later, Bitty has pie waiting for everyone.” She shooed them all out the door and down to Jack and Eric’s apartment. 

“Dex gets extra pie, he put my drafting table together for me without even having to be asked.” Gretchen walked in after stowing a few things. 

“I figured you’d want it set up, and doing it on your own would be kind of rough,” Dex told her. “Plus, Nursey and Chowder helped.” 

“Awww, Dexy, making sure we get credit, too.” Nursey slung an arm around Dex’s neck and kissed his cheek. “Best boyfriend.” 

“Good thing you left your fans there, it is hot in that studio.” Poots stood at the island eating his piece of pie. 

“Trade off for good light, and compared to LA, it’s not that bad.” Gretchen told him. 

“If you say so.” Poots let himself be pushed out of the way by Snowy, and some other players. 

“Everyone is knowing cannot talk about who I’m date until after Bachelor airs, right?” Alexei told the guys. “Will have to make announcement at Marty and Gabby’s BBQ tomorrow, too.” 

“Dude, are you kidding? I’m getting in on one of the betting pools once they announce,” Snowy told him. “I got a friend in Vegas.” 

“I’m know you are not talk about Parson.” Alexei glared at the goalie. 

“He apologized. Bought me a drink when I was back there with Jenna earlier this summer.” Snowy shrugged. “He’s not that bad.” 

“You hush your blaspheming mouth, Dustin Snow.” Eric pulled Snowy’s piece of pie back. 

“I’m the one he crashed into.” Snowy looked around, the room. His eyes lit on Jack, and he blushed. “Oh, right. Sorry. Wasn’t thinking.” 

Gretchen looked up at Alexei, who shook his head and mouthed, ‘Later.’

“Ok, so which one of you hunks is posing for me first? Other than Alexei.” Gretchen bumped Alexei with her hip. Immediately, they devolved into squabbling over who had the best body. She glanced over to Bitty who mouthed, ‘Thank you.’ 

After pie, and dinner, and more pie, the party broke up and Gretchen and Alexei went back to the apartment. 

“I feel like I should unpack, but oh my god, I am sore.” She arched her back. 

“B tell me tell you thank you for distract guys.” Alexei walked up and pecked her on the lips. 

“Easiest way to distract a bunch of type A personalities, ask them who’s the best at whatever.” She ran a hand over his chest. “You don’t have to explain anything if you don’t want to, if it isn’t your story to tell.” 

“Zimmboni and Parson having history.” Alexei shrugged. 

“You mean the fact that Parson is gayer than unicorn farts?” Gretchen asked. “I’m not outing anyone, his sexuality is the worst kept secret in the NHL. The only people who don’t know don’t want to know.” She rolled her eyes. 

“You are being serious?” Alexei asked. 

“Babe, his girlfriend is a pornstar, a fantastic pornstar with the most amazing bone structure I’ve ever seen.” She frowned. “Can you say ‘trying too hard?’ Besides, I have friends in the Industry. In private they act more like he’s her gay BFF.”

“You are liking porn?” Alexei asked. 

“That’s what you took away from that?” She lifted an eyebrow at him. 

“Maybe I’m being distract by want to know what kind of porn you are liking?” He waggled his eyebrows at her. “Also, tired talk about Parson. Bleah.” 

“Yeah, ok. Yes, I like porn.” She giggled. “Consider me distracted.” 

“What kind you are liking? We talk lots on set, get to know each other, but we are not talk too much about what we are liking. Just sort of falling into bed.” Alexei said, pulling her closer. “Want to make sure I’m taking care of you, golubka.” 

“You do.” She stretched up to kiss him. “You’re amazing. Best sex ever.” 

“Good. But always being room for improvement, like hockey.” He nuzzled her neck. “There are being things you are liking we are not doing yet? Apart from oral, because ‘condoms taste yucky.’” 

“You ever taste one, Maskhov? If not, shush.” She blushed, cheeks darkening. “Yeah, there’s, um, things I like.” 

“Tell me?” He nibbled up her neck. “Wanting to know how make you happiest.” 

“What we’re doing is fine, like if you aren’t into, that’s fine.” Gretchen took a deep breath. “I like being tied up.” 

“Pravda?” He pulled back to look at her with a wide grin on his face, like she’d just given him another Stanley Cup. “Truly, you are liking being tied up?”

“Yeah, I have some, er, feelings around it, because feminism and racial dynamics, and stuff, but yeah, I really like being tied up.” She rested her forehead against his chest. 

“Is being so good, because I’m like to try tying you up, not sure how to ask without sound like jerk.” He lifted her chin with an index finger to kiss her. “Best. Knowing we fit best.” 

“You know, it is still possible one or the other of us is going to like something the other doesn’t.” She laughed, and kissed him. 

“Then we are discuss, find, um, agreement how to handle.” He smiled back at her. “What you are liking being tied up with? I’m not ever do anything apart from cheesy bondage set early girlfriend buy. I’m see fancy rope bondage, like looking at. Not sure I’m can do it.” 

“If you can do hair, you can do shibari, baby.” She reached up to run her fingers through his hair. “But I’m not a huge fan. I dated someone who was super into it. The sex felt like an afterthought.” 

“I’m being ok with no shibari, then.” He let her comb through his hair with her fingers, head falling back. “Feel good you do that.” 

“I like leather cuffs, because you can get padded ones, less chance of nerve damage that way if you mess up.” She tugged a little on his hair, and he kissed her hard. 

“I’m order some.” He exhaled once they’d broken off the kiss. “Blue like you hair was.” 

“I have some stuff.” She blushed again. “Um, that box I immediately carried into the bedroom has some stuff. I dated a couple of people in the scene. It wasn’t hugely welcoming to people of color, but there were a few of us.” 

“You are wanting to try tonight, or maybe just talk about what we are wanting, and try tomorrow?” He stroked her cheek. 

“Let’s talk about it. I should probably check everything over. LA is so dry, it isn’t exactly kind to leather.” She leaned into the caress. 

“Can still buy you new things?” Alexei swept her up in his arms again to carry her into the bedroom. 

“Is this becoming a fetish?” She laughed, arms around his neck. 

“I’m can tell how much you are liking it other day.” He kissed her. “Answer question.” 

“Yes, You can still buy me new things.” She giggled, and he carried her into the bedroom.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I've taught dozens of Intro to BDSM classes, and yeah, sometimes that shows.


	7. Team BBQ

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gretchen goes to her first Falcs' team function.

Saturday, the two of them got up and got ready to head to Gabby and Marty’s for the team barbecue. Gabby had explicitly told her that all diet plans were off at their barbecues, so Gretchen got up, and made a batch of Grandma Gretchen’s German potato salad. 

“Is being hot potato salad?” Alexei watched as she carmelized the onions and bacon in the pan, deglazing with vinegar. “Smells good.” 

“Yeah, starts with a pound of bacon.” She smiled up at him. “Like most of my family recipes.” 

“Sounds amazing.” He kissed her. “I’m find cooler bag. Wanting me to braid you hair back for BBQ?”

“Yeah, let me get this set up to where it’s simmering, and then we can do that.” She rolled out her neck and shoulders. 

“Still need to send you for massage.” Alexei kissed her cheek and walked off to find the bag. 

“Hey! You made it!” Gabby answered the door, holding the collar of a large, golden retriever, whose color was closer to cream than gold. “This is Thor. The kids named him. He’s pretty well-behaved, but with so many people he’s a little overexcited.” Thor’s tail wagged wildly and he bounced on his front paws. 

“Hi, sweetheart! Look at you!’ Gretchen immediately dropped her bag to rub his ears. “You are so pretty!” 

Gabby let go and Thor wriggled, licking her face, and darting over to sniff Alexei before charging back through the house. 

“Come in, come in!” Gabby held the door wide. Through the house they could hear kids squealing and adults talking and laughing. “Eric is in the kitchen prepping things for the grill, which Marty and Jack are manning.” She led them through a very nice mid-century modern house with Scandinavian modern furniture. 

“You have a gorgeous house!” Gretchen told her, as they got to the kitchen. 

“Thank you. Marty let me do what I wanted, as long as he had a place to sit and watch the TV.” Gabby chuckled. “They’re here!” She called to Eric who stood at a counter. 

“Hey, ya’ll. What’d you bring?” Eric waved with the knife in his hand. 

“German potato salad. It can sit on a burner at low for awhile,” Gretchen told him, as Alexei set the bag down and lifted the dutch oven out of it. “Maybe give it a stir every so often.” 

“Oh, is this the famous Grandma Gretchen recipe? I can hardly wait.” Eric went back to chopping vegetables. 

“Drinks are in the coolers. Eric’s prepping skewers for the grill, beef, lamb, chicken, and veggie.” Gabby told her. “My oldest, Claire, and Lena have decided they’re going vegan, and honestly, with the new meal plans, it’s not that hard to accommodate, so eh?” Gabby shrugged. “Go on out, drinks are in the coolers. And there’s a pitcher of sangria on the bar.” 

“I’m going to have some water first, then we’ll talk sangria.” Gretchen told her. “One of us has to be able to drive home tonight. “

“Come meet kids!” Alexei tugged her out into the backyard, onto a huge deck. 

“Hey, Tater and Gretchen are here!” Marty waved from near a built-in brick grill. “Welcome!” The deck curved out and around a pool, and there was still an expanse of yard. A gaggle of teen girls including, Gretchen assumed, Claire and Lena, sat under a pool umbrella talking. A similar gaggle of teen boys hung out near the younger Falconers, including Poots. 

“Uncle Tater!” A crowd of kids raced up onto the deck to greet him. 

“Hello, everyone!” Tater beamed, and scooped up one of the younger kids. “Everyone, this is being Gretchen!”

“Hi, Gretchen!” Kids crowded around them. Alexei named off each one, and set down the one he’d been holding. 

“Will come play in pool later, need to introduce Gretchen.” He ruffled hair, and sent the pack of kids running off. Pearl stayed behind, in that awkward age where she wasn’t a teen yet, so the older girls didn’t want her around, but she was too old to play with the little kids. A couple other tweens loitered nearby, waiting for Pearl. 

“Hi, Pearl, I’m Gretchen. I hear you taught Alexei how to do hair.” Gretchen smiled. Pearl regarded her for a minute. 

“Yeah, I had to do something to make him useful. He couldn’t even microwave popcorn right,” she told Gretchen. 

“I’ve been warned,” Gretchen nodded. 

“Mean!” Alexei glared at Pearl, who giggled and smiled back at him. 

“He almost burned down the kitchen with hot pockets once,” Pearl told her, grinning. 

“Is not being true. No actual flames, just lots of smoke.” Alexei grumped at her, but the corner of his mouth was twitching. 

“Daddy says you guys are gross.” Pearl told her. “Which is good, Tater needs someone as gushy and romantic as he is. He learned English from Sesame Street and a bunch of mom’s rom-coms.” 

“Worst child!” Alexei picked Pearl up and tossed her over his shoulder. She shrieked and giggled. “Thirdy! Why you have terrible child?”

“You helped raise her, Tater-tot. You tell me.” Thirdy walked over. 

“Oh, Tater-tot. I’m changing your name in my phone!” Gretchen laughed, pulling her phone out. 

“We called him that on the Rangers,” Thirdy told her. 

“Worst, mean. Everyone terrible, nobody love Alexei.” He pouted with Pearl still over his shoulder. 

“Everyone loves you, dork.” Gretchen smiled. “I love you.” 

“If you are loving me, all that matters.” He set Pearl down, and leaned in to kiss Gretchen. “Best.” 

“See, gross.” Thirdy pointed at them, and Pearl nodded. A teen boy hung back behind Thirdy. “Oh, hey, Gretchen, this is Nathaniel, our son. He just got back from hockey camp. And he’s home for a hot minute before we send him back to the Q for the school year. He goes to the same school Zimmboni went to.” 

“Nathaniel is being very good,” Alexei enthused, pulling the young man into a hug. “Going to kick Dad’s butt in NHL before long.” 

“Aww, Tater.” Nathaniel made a show of pushing Tater off, but he blushed. 

“Oh, I’m being sorry. Too cool for hugs from Tater.” Alexei sniffed, and slid his arm around Gretchen’s shoulders. “Best fiancee, Gretchen.” 

“Hey,” the boy nodded. “I like your shirt. You seen it?” 

“Seen it? I did the make-up for this one.” Gretchen snorted. She wore a black t-shirt with the poster art for Full Moon horror movie, Ravenwolf Towers. “I loved working for Full Moon, but TV paid better.” She shrugged. “I still did a couple films for them here and there. However, I thought wearing an Evil Bong t-shirt might send the wrong message.” 

“Evil Bong?” Thirdy asked, eyebrows going up. 

“It’s really bad. Like, worse than you think. There are at least five of them, I think. But then again, that’s kind of Full Moon’s schtick, horror comedy that’s so bad it’s hilarious,” Gretchen told him. “And legit scary every so often.” 

“You do horror make-up?” Nathaniel asked. “Like for movies?”

“Didn’t your mom show you my Instagram?” Gretchen asked. 

“She showed me.” Pearl said, hands clasped behind her back, sticking her tongue at her brother. 

“She did, you were ignoring her.” Thirdy rolled his eyes. 

“Whatever.” Nathaniel stuck his hands in his pockets and slouched. 

“Go ask your mother nicely and I’m sure she’ll show you. Or google. I know you can do that.” Thirdy got Nathaniel in a headlock and noogied him. 

“Ow, Dad! God!” He sulked off. 

“You could not pay me enough money to be a teenager again.” Gretchen leaned into Alexei. 

“You Mom showed me pictures. Were being adorable.” Alexei grinned. “She also tell me you nearly make drama teacher faint when you made fake injury on classmate for play.” 

“She did throw up.” Gretchen sighed. “I grew up working in the funeral home, and helping with make-up and, um, reconstructions. So, yeah, I am really good at convincing wounds.” 

“You grew up in a funeral home?!” Pearl’s eyes went wide. “That is so gross!” 

“Kids are knowing they cannot talk about who I’m date,” Alexei told Gretchen. 

“We teach them to keep things pretty quiet, just in general because of fans,” Thirdy told her. 

“Oh, yeah, makes sense.” Gretchen nodded. 

“Some people are just so gross about it.” Pearl rolled her eyes. “Like whatever, he’s famous. He’s still my dorky Dad who sings along with the radio, and thinks he can rap.” 

“Hey! Now that’s just hurtful!” Thirdy made a grab for her, and Pearl darted off giggling, followed by the other two tweens who had hovered, but stayed out of the conversation. 

“Hey, Tater!” The group of teenaged girls waved. Alexei waved back. 

“I’m like them better when they are being small, not so mean,” Alexei sighed. “Come on, introduce you to guys haven’t met you yet.” 

They did the rounds of the deck, introducing Gretchen to the other players and their wives and girlfriends. Most of them were really friendly, one or two seemed a little cool towards her, but when she talked to Jenna after Alexei had gone off to ‘referee’ a volleyball game for the kids, Jenna reassured her. 

“They’re like that with everyone, especially me.” Jenna rolled her eyes. “We try to be supportive as a group, but you do get some cliques.” She shrugged. 

“Yeah, I get it.” Gretchen sipped her bottle of water. “Happens everywhere. I watched it on the set of the show.” 

“We’re really glad Tater found you, me and Snow. He and Tater have been friends for awhile, and it’s nice seeing him happy with you,” Jenna clinked her margarita glass against Gretchen’s water bottle. 

“Thanks. I’m really glad he found me, too.” Gretchen smiled, as Alexei tossed the volleyball back into play. 

“Five yard penalty, illegal use of feet!” Alexei yelled. 

“Tater! That’s not a thing!!!!” Came a chorus of child voices. 

“Oh my god, he is so good with kids!” Gretchen put a hand over her heart. 

“He is.” Jenna agreed. “You gonna be ok? Need to sit down? Glass of wine? Pregnancy test?”

“Yeah, that’s a ways off. Just, it’s good to know.” Gretchen shrugged, watching as Alexei went down under a pile of children. “He had a pretty good time with all my little cousins at the BBQ with my family, too.” 

“Oh, I bet he had a blast. You said they filmed it. I can hear the ovaries exploding all over America!” Jenna cackled. “Was there a baby? He loves babies.” 

“There was. He spent most of the BBQ holding my cousin Carmen’s little girl on his arm. She’s about one and a half, and once he picked her up she refused to walk anywhere.” Gretchen sighed. “It was so cute.” 

“Yeah, this is why no one has bothered to shovel talk you. You are so gone on him it’s absolutely gross.” Jenna giggled and sipped her margarita. 

“I’m aware.” Gretchen rolled her eyes, and stole Jenna’s margarita, finishing it off. 

“You know, there’s a whole pitcher of sangria over on that bar over there.” Jenna pointed. “Let’s hit that.” 

“For while, pretty sure I’m have to carry you home.” Alexei walked arm in arm with Gretchen down the hall to their apartment. 

“Well, you were out there being adorable with children, and it was giving me all kinds of feelings, and then Jenna pointed out the sangria,” Gretchen exhaled. “Ooof, I’m beat. That was a lot of fun, but I am exhausted.” 

“You like seeing me with kids?” Alexei smiled and leaned over to kiss her cheek. “Maybe in a few years, I’m want to be involved parent, not always gone.” 

“I appreciate that, baby. We have time.” She hugged his arm tight. “You are sunburned.” 

“Because I am being Fairest of them all.” Alexei said, gesturing with the arm carrying the insulated bag with the empty dutch oven in it. 

“Because you are one of the pastiest white boys I have ever seen.” Gretchen giggled. “And be careful, there’s pie in there. I swiped it while Jack was throwing Eric in the pool.” 

“Best fiancee!” Alexei kissed her cheek again, then dug his keys out to open the door to the apartment.


	8. Draw me like...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gretchen sets up her studio, and Tater obligingly poses for her.

Gretchen spent the next week setting up her studio, buying canvases, sketchpads and other supplies. She spent several days going through boxes, sorting through paints, pastels, charcoal, pencils. She shoved the futon over against a wall, dragged her drafting table to where it had pretty good light, and bought a couple plants, some throw blankets, and pillows, and a space heater while they were cheap during the summer. 

Alexei would get done with training, pick up lunch somewhere, and come to the studio to sit with her while she sorted and put things away. They made a few forays out to local art stores, where she let him buy a few things for her.

“Let me buy you coat for winter?” Alexei asked, lounging on the futon while she sorted through a box of oil pastel nubs. 

“Mmmm, sure.” She frowned at the box in front of her, and then pulled out her phone, looking something up on the internet. “Oh, yeah, fuck that. I’m tossing this whole box and buying a new set.” She pointed at him. “No fur.” 

“Leather ok?” He asked, stretching. 

“Yeah, leather’s fine.” She watched him for a moment. “Think you can take your clothes off and hold that pose?” 

“Yes.” Alexei sat up to pull his shirt over his head. He leaned over to untie and kick off his shoes, peel off his socks, and shuck his shorts and boxers down his legs. “How you are wanting me?”

“Any way I can have you, usually. This time, lay down on the futon like you were and stretch, arching your back.” She set a timer on her phone, and grabbed a pad of paper and charcoal stick. 

“Like this?” He stretched, arms over his head, one leg bent up, like he had been a few moments before. 

“Perfect.” She started sketching immediately, eyes darting from Alexei to the paper, and back. “Oooof, I’m a little out of practice. I might have you take a few more poses after this, if you want. You don’t have to. I know artist modeling isn’t easy.”

“We will be seeing.” Alexei smiled at her, and she sketched in the curve of his lips and his smiling eyes. 

When her alarm went off, she looked up. 

“Ok, that was 15 minutes. If you want, we can take five, and you can find another pose.” She watched him move. “You’re gorgeous.” 

“I’m think I’m can handle more.” He sat up and stretched. “I’m understand why you are saying not easy.” He rolled out his neck. “Can I’m see how you draw me?”

“You sure you want to? I’m a little out of practice.” She stood up and set down the pad to walk over. Still sitting, Alexei wrapped his arms around her, pressing his face to her stomach just below her chest. 

“Yes, want to see how you are seeing me.” He looked up at her. “So beautiful.” 

“Yeah, ok, but you’re going to have to let go.” She combed her fingers through his hair, and he closed his eyes, humming contentedly. 

“I’m suppose.” He sighed, and leaned back, still nude on the futon. 

“You are shameless.” She giggled, and picked up the sketchpad, letting him flip through it.

“This is how you are seeing me?” He looked up at her, eyes wide. “I'm being flattered. Is being amazing.” 

“You like it?” She asked, fingers moving through his hair again. 

“I’m love it. So talent.” He pulled her down to sit on his lap. “Maybe not here, too many windows, but get home, show you how much I’m love you, so proud.” 

“I love you, so much.” She lowered her head to kiss him. “You’re gorgeous. I could draw you all day.” 

“Maybe on rest day.” He kissed her back. 

“Oh, I have a thought. We could just do some quick pose changes. I don’t know, if you wanted to go through some of the stretches you do after workouts? Hold them for a minute or two?” she suggested. 

“Might be more comfortable,” he agreed. “Need to sit on floor for some.” 

“I bought some blankets for just such an emergency. And because I expect it is going to get cold as fuck in here once winter hits.” She kissed him once more and stood up. She pulled a blue blanket out of one of the milk crates stacked against the wall next to the futon as a shelving system. She spread it out on the floor, and Alexei stepped onto it. Gretchen settled herself back on the bench she’d been sitting on, and picked up the sketchpad again. “Ready?”

“Yes, um, ok.” Alexei started with arm stretches, reaching over his head for the triceps, moved on to standing hurdler’s stretch, and a couple others before sitting on the blanket. “Oh, is being very soft.” 

“We can buy some for our place, if you want,” Gretchen said, absently, sketching the different poses, two or three to a page, and some interstitial movements. 

“Ok, that is all the stretches I am usually doing.” After about half an hour or so, Alexei sat, legs straight out in front of him, leaning back on his hands. 

“Let your head fall back like that, baby.” Gretchen said, and kept working for a few more minutes. “Ok, I’m sorry. Thank you so much.” 

“Was not hardship, being naked for most beautiful girl in world.” He raised his head to smile at her. 

“Everyone is going to get sick of all the paintings I do of you.” She sighed, and closed the notepad, before setting it aside. “What was I doing before you distracted me?”

“Said you were throw out whatever is being in that box, and buy knew set.” Alexei leaned over to grab his clothes. 

“Oh, yeah, it’s a bunch of partial nubs of oil pastels, I mean, they might come in handy, but I can also afford a new set.” She stretched herself, arms over her head. 

“Wishing I were being artist, could draw you like this.” Alexei pulled on his boxers, then crawled over to kiss her. “Blanket is being very soft.” 

“Windows are being very open,” she said, kissing his nose. “As you pointed out earlier.” 

“You let me pose naked?” He gasped in faux shock, hand held to his chest and eyes wide. 

“Mashkov, I have never seen anyone more comfortable with nudity in just about any situation in my life.” She snorted. “I can explain away you naked by showing people that sketchpad. I can not explain away us fucking the same way.” 

“Tell them is being research for action poses.” He grinned, but backed off to pull on the rest of his clothes. “Can go home and go to bed?”

“Yeah, let’s do that.” She smiled. “I love you so fucking much.” 

“I’m love you.” He sat again to get his shoes and socks on, while she put a few more things away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You knew I had to when I started talking about her being an artist, right?


	9. The First Roadie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alexei comes home from the first road trip of the Pre-season.

By the time pre-season started, they had settled into a rhythm with practices and training, and her drawing and painting. She would go to the studio when she woke up and paint or draw for a couple of hours. Alexi would text when he was done, an if she was at the studio he’d go there to get her or pose, sometimes other players came, too. She did get Jack and Eric to pose for her together. Nursey and Dex came up from Samwell as well. She did a series of portraits of the kids of the different players. Pearl in her school uniform with her field hockey stick. Lena and Claire sitting together giggling and looking at their phones. Some of the other kids made their way into her art as well. 

Most of these portraits were given to their parents. Several tried to pay her for them. 

“No, no, these are practice runs. And you guys were nice enough to let me borrow your kids.” Gretchen waved the money away. So gift cards for spa services started showing up, frequently in Alexei’s gear bag at practice, or gift cards for art stores. 

“Baby, let them pay you. I’m almost get card stuck in jock today.” Alexei huffed when he got home. 

“Um, ew, and fine.” She giggled at him, as he tossed a couple more gift cards on the counter. “I feel more like I can charge now, and I have a whole bunch of ideas. I might need to borrow some kids again at some point, but right now, I will probably be borrowing players and wives. Or possibly hiring some college kids while you’re out of town.” She stood up to go hug him. “I hate that they’ve ramped up the advertising and now we can’t go ANYWHERE together.” 

“I’m know. Being over soon.” He pulled her close and kissed the top of her head. “I’m love you. Worth it, baby. I’m know is hard on you. Hope is being worth it for you, too.” 

“It is, I’m just going a little stir crazy.” She sighed, arms around his waist, eyes closed. “I can’t even watch TV because the fucking ads are everywhere.” 

“I’m know.” He squeezed gently. “Loving you. Make it up to you, promise.” He kissed the top of her head again. “Box get here?”

“Yeah, what is it?” She pulled back to point at the large box sitting on the coffee table. 

“Is being your coat, golubka. Winter coming soon, not wanting you to freeze pretty tits off.” He chuckled, and let go of her. 

“I see.” She stepped back and went to open the box. Alexei handed her a pocket knife. “What is?” She pulled a heavy black coat out. “What is this?”

“Is shearling coat. Very warm, very stylish. Not fur,” he repeated her directive back at her. “Wool.” 

“I don’t know if it still counts as wool when it’s attached to the skin.” She ran a hand over it. “Fuck, this is soft.” 

“Try on. Make sure it is fitting.” Alexei waited while she pulled the coat on. 

“Oh, holy shit, this is nice. It’s like being hugged by a giant muppet.” She looked up at him. “Do I want to know how much this cost?”

“No.” He stepped closer to kiss her. “Present, make up for next two, three months of bullshit.” 

“Ok, ok. Yeah, fine.” She took a deep breath. “I do love it. It is probably the nicest thing I have ever owned.” 

“Will be changing once you get all clear to go to events. Gabby and Christine take you shopping for evening gowns for charity things. Please let me buy, is being part of my job, these events.” Alexei hugged her in the coat. “Is being very soft.” 

“Yeah, ok. I get it.” She looked up at him. “I still feel weird about the money thing.”

“I’m know, golubka.” Alexei pushed some hair back from her face. “I’m knowing you are not with me for money. Is being all that matter.” 

“It should be, yeah.” Gretchen hugged him tight. “I’m sorry, baby. It’s just, I already have to listen to people all up in our business, and they don’t even know it’s my business they’re up in, too. And, why is it already hard? The stupid show’s not even airing yet, and I’m already stressing out over it.” 

“Because you know is going to be get worse.” Alexei hugged her tighter. “I’m being so sorry, golubka. At least team is knowing, so shit from guys will not being as bad. I’m hope. Might lose temper otherwise.” 

“I know it’s hard on you, too. I’m sorry. I’m being ridiculous. I love you, I have you.” She took a deep breath

“Is being, not ok, but I’m being fine as long as I’m having you at the end. All that is mattering to me.” He rested his chin on her head. “Also, am already being kind of big deal, more used to it.”

“You’re a big dork.” She giggled into his chest. 

“I’m think tonight we are watching something stupid on stream, and eat popcorn for dinner. Maybe ask B to bring down pie and sangria.” Alexei kissed the top of her head. 

“I do not need a hangover to go with the angst.” Gretchen exhaled. “I would not say no to the pie, though.” 

“I’m text him. Maybe go start bath. Little sore, would like to soak with most beautiful fiancee.” He kissed her. “I’m choose you, golubka.” 

“I choose you, too, baby.” She kissed him back. “Ok, I’ll start the tub.” 

“Light candles, they are smell nice.” He told her. “Want me to hang up coat?”

“Yeah, if I keep this thing on I’ll die, it’s really warm. But it’s so soft.” She stroked the sleeve of the coat. “I’ll try to lighten up about the money stuff, ok?”

“I’m would appreciate. Just wanting to do nice things for woman I’m love.” He leaned in for another kiss before helping her out of the coat. “Ooof, is being heavier than I’m thinking.” 

“It’s pretty dense.” She smiled. “I’ll start the bath.” 

“Ok, texting B for pie.” Alexei took her coat to the closet to hang it up. 

Tater: B, can bake pie for Gretchen? She is having hard time already. I’m being very worry.  
B: Sure thing, hon. I’ll make her a sweet potato pie. I just happen to have the ingredients.   
Tater: Sweet potato?  
B: You’ll love it. Trust me.  
Tater: If you are saying so. Getting into bath, if we are not answering, just set on counter. Promise, will be no funny business on couch until after pie delivery.   
B: Please, ya’ll. I was not expecting THAT last time. 

Alexei wandered into the bedroom to get undressed and saw the blue leather cuffs he’d ordered for her sitting on the bed. He raised an eyebrow, and stripped quickly, walking into the bathroom. 

“I’m seeing cuffs sitting on bed.” He walked up behind her and wrapped his arms around her. 

“I, sometimes that takes me out of my head for awhile. It doesn’t have to be super intense or anything, just, I want to try and see if it’ll help.” She leaned her head back to look at him. 

“Ok, we can try.” He leaned down to kiss her. “After eat. B is making you sweet potato pie.” 

“He is such a sweetheart.” She relaxed a little in Alexei’s arms. “I might need to be reminded that Eric, Christine and the others have my back and I’m not alone.” 

“You are not being alone. Are having me, team, Pearl like you better than me now because you make her look tough in portrait.” Alexei kissed her ear. “Impress boys with work on terrible horror movies, impress girls with teach all kinds of make up stuff, and tell where to get good color contacts for cosplay, and wigs.” 

“Christine will regret asking me to teach those girls how to do good cosplay make up.” She giggled a little. 

“Feel better, golubka/“ Alexei held her close, while the tub filled. 

“Yes. Sorry, baby.” She turned in his arms to kiss him. 

“I’m not care. Love you more than anything, more than hockey.” He kissed her deeply. “We take bath, I’m feed you pie while you sit on my lap, maybe with hands cuffed, we see. Not telling B, would being so scandalize.” 

“He really would.” She smiled. “Ok, baby. We can try that.” 

Alexei pulled on a pair of boxer briefs, and went into the living room to make sure all the curtains were drawn. A note stating the pie was in the refrigerator cooling sat on the counter. Alexei shrugged and pulled the pie out, setting it on the table with a fork. 

He went back into the bedroom and sat on the bed, pulling a still naked Gretchen onto his lap. 

“You are still wanting this, golubka?” He stroked her hair back from her face. 

“Yes.” She nodded, blushing. 

“Cuffed in front or in back?” He leaned over and picked up one of the soft, blue leather cuffs. 

“Front.” She watched as he very carefully buckled the first cuff around her near wrist. As he checked the fit with a finger, she exhaled, relaxing, closing her eyes. 

“Still good?” Alexei nuzzled her cheek. 

“Yeah, yes, good.” She nodded. “I’ll safeword out if I need to, promise.” 

“I’m know you will, golubka.” He picked up the other cuff and buckled it around her other wrist, checking the fit. She exhaled again, relaxing further. “Is being good?”

“Yeah, I’m good. I trust you, baby.” She opened her eyes to look up at him, lips parted. 

“Ready for pie, golubka?” He kissed her. 

“Yes.” She smiled at him. 

“Ok, stand up for second.” He helped her to her feet, then clipped the cuffs together in front of her. “Still good?”

“Yes.” She kept her eyes on him the entire time. 

“Look beautiful like this.” Alexei stood, and scooped her up to carry her into the living room. She immediately relaxed into his arms. He set her on her feet by the table, and sat in a chair, before guiding her onto his lap. He picked up the fork. “B promise I’m will like this pie.” He frowned at it. 

Gretchen burst out giggling. 

“You will. You like pumpkin pie, right?” she asked. 

“Yes, but is being potatoes?” He scowled. 

“You’re really killing the mood, Mashkov.” She laughed out loud. “Just try the pie, and we can go back to making this sexy again.” 

“Yes, fine. So bossy.” He winked at her, and took a forkful. “First for you, because B is making pie for you.” 

“Ok.” Gretchen giggled again, then obediently opened her mouth for the pie. “Oh, oh, that is amazing. Holy shit.” 

“What happen to make sexy again?” Alexei snickered. 

“Just try the damn pie.” She bumped him with her shoulder. 

“Fine.” He eyed it suspiciously, then took a bite. “Oh, is being very good!” 

“Told you.” She leaned in to kiss his nose. “Now, can we try to find our way back to sexy again?”

“Yes, we can be trying.” He kissed her. “I’m love you, golubka.” 

“Love you, too, Alexei. More every day.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who hasn't had an ill-timed fit of the giggles intrude on sexy-times?


	10. Going into Pre-season

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The ad campaigns for the Bachelor start to ramp up. And the network has an idea.

Chapter 10

The Falcs’ first couple of roadies during pre-season, a week or less, weren’t a big deal. Gretchen kept herself busy helping the kids plan their Halloween costumes, the younger ones changed their minds frequently, and she didn’t want to commit to anything with them just yet. She found a couple theater costume design students willing to do some sewing for some extra money and pictures for their portfolios. 

A group of the older girls, including Claire and Lena, decided they wanted to be Elemental Faeries, beginning some intense discussions over how elements were to be assigned. Guinevere, a daughter of one of the other players, thought they should be assigned by the elements linked to their zodiac sign, until someone pointed out that at least two of them had birthdays within days of each other, and shared zodiac signs. 

Christine and Gabby took turns hosting costume brainstorming and planning meetings. 

“How come you don’t costume more?” Lena asked Gretchen at one of these, as Gretchen sketched out ideas for their outfits she hoped would make sense to the costume design majors she’d recruited. At least one of them wanted to trade a painting of one of their costumes for the work. Gretchen was ok with that, the costume in question was incredible, especially in motion. 

“Um, I was super busy trying to make sure I could afford to live in LA.” Gretchen glanced up at Claire, standing across from her, so Gretchen could get a sense of proportion. “Housing costs are obscene. I paid about what Alexei pays for his place, for a 300 ft studio.” 

“Wow, that’s a lot!” Lena blinked. 

‘At least I had my own bathroom and kitchen.” Gretchen narrowed her eyes at Claire for a second. “Ok, good. Got it. Give me a few minutes to sketch the costume basics on this. Your moms are going to send me your measurements. Take your measurements in the underwear you intend to wear. If you intend to go braless, then no bra. If you’re going to wear a push-up bra, take the measurements wearing that.” Gretchen’s phone dinged. She pulled it out and looked at it, smiling. 

“It’s Tater.” Lena rolled her eyes. “Ugh, you guys are still gross.” 

“Tater’s hot!” Angela, another of the group interjected. 

“Ewww! I’ve known him since I was 8!” Lena made a face. 

“My Dad just got traded here, so I haven’t.” Angela shrugged. “He’s objectively hot.” 

“Well, I hope we stay gross for a long time.” Gretchen smiled, and tucked her phone in her pocket. “And thank you for your support, I think, Angela. He says the bus is about half an hour from the rink, so he’ll be home in an hour-ish.” 

“I don’t think anyone who spent all last week mooning over Mark Wilson in homeroom has any room to talk.” Claire nudged Lena, who nudged back. 

“And that is why Claire is now my favorite.” Gretchen started gathering the drawings. “Hopefully we can get fabric samples by next week, and we can start working on these for real. Fay will be emailing you all list of things we can do to make this process as streamlined as possible. Send me selfies and I’ll work on designing the make up.” 

“Have a good night!” The girls chorused together. 

“Teenagers are the worst.” Gretchen sighed, as Christine followed her to the front door. 

“I’ll remind them you’re doing all of this out of the goodness of your heart.” Christine hugged her. “Also, thanks for the heads up.” 

“No problem. See you guys later.” Gretchen walked out to her Bronco, and headed back to the apartment. 

By the time Alexei got to the apartment, she had dinner started, and was looking at the sketches she’d done of the girls for their costumes, while she waited for the water for the noodles to boil. 

“Hi, golubka.” Alexei limped in. 

“Baby, did you get hurt?” Gretchen set the drawings on the island and walked over to him. 

“Ankle is little bruise. Trainer say ice and hot, keep elevated.” He kissed her when she reached him, and took his bag. “What is being dinner? Smells good?”

“Seafood pasta, whole wheat pasta, in olive oil and steamed veggies. So, I can’t be away from it long. I may have misjudged cooking times.” She shrugged. “I’ll hit the seafood with a little heat right before I put everything out.” 

“Best.” He kissed her. “I’m get changed.” 

“Ok.” She kissed him back and carried his bag into the bedroom, putting it on the bed, before running back out to the kitchen. 

A few minutes later he came out in sweatpants and a t-shirt; Wall Drug, from their trip. 

“Almost done!” Gretchen turned on the burner under the seafood and after a minute or so tossed everything together, brought out a bowl of steamed broccoli, and salads. 

“Smell amazing, look amazing!” Alexei eased himself into a chair at the already set table. “I’m miss you so much.” 

“I missed you, too.” She leaned in to kiss him. “Water or wine to drink?” 

“Water, I’m think.” He settled in his chair. “So, um, network call me today.” 

“Oh?” She set water on the table for both of them, and sat down. “What’s up, baby? Did someone out us?”

“No, no. They say congratulation on keeping quiet. No, they are wanting some of the girls to come to some of the games.” He exhaled. “I’m tell them I’m ask you before I’m agree anything.” 

“Thank you, baby.” She reached for his hand. “They say why?”

“They think will make it harder for people to guess.” Alexei rubbed his face with his free hand. “I’m say I’m not being wild about idea. I’m not want to stress you out more, golubka.” 

“I’m not real wild about that idea either, I mean, what are the odds they’re going to send the well-behaved ones?” She snorted. 

“Yes, I’m think that way, too.” He took a long deep breath. “Only part of agreeing to do show I’m not regret is you.” 

“Baby. I love you so much.” She squeezed his hand. 

“I’m tell them no. Five bucks say it happen anyway, but at least I’m try.” He tugged her hand up to his lips. “After dinner take bath and cuddle?”

“All you want, baby.” She smiled. 

“I’m love you.” He picked up his fork. 

The next morning, Gretchen sat with Alexei while he called network back. 

“I’m think over what you ask. We are not wanting that.” Alexei pulled Gretchen onto his lap. “Is already being hard on both of us keep secret for you. Not wanting to make it any harder.” He paused to listen. “Team is having lawyers, too. This disrupt games or players lives, could wind up cost you. I’m follow contract. I’m seeing. Ok. Hold on.” Alexei muted the call. “They say are asking to control situation, find out several girls planning on do this already, think they contain it.” 

“I smell so much bullshit.” Gretchen folded her arms over her chest. 

“I am smelling, also.” Alexei squeezed her knee gently. “What we are doing?”

“I mean, ultimately, we can’t fucking stop them.” She covered her face with her hands. “The arenas are public facilities.” 

“I’m say have to keep girls away from locker room, away from hotel, at distance if possible.” Alexei pulled her into a one armed hug. “I’m hate this, too.” 

“We’ll cope with it. It’s all we can do, I guess.” She leaned into him. He kissed the top of her head. 

“We will being ok, golubka. I’m love you. You. Not care about other girls.” Alexei picked up his phone. “Ok, listen. You keep girls away from locker room, away from hotel. At distance. We are already being stress by all this. Ask us to keep secret for months, not easy. Very stress.” He paused to listen. “Anything happen in or near locker room, I’m let team lawyers at you. Same go for hotels. Especially for hotels.” He hung up. “Let’s go back to bed, golubka. Just want be near you as much as possible.” 

“Ok.” She stood and helped him up. “How’s your ankle feel?”

“Little better. You know, science is saying sex is being great pain reliever.” He waggled his eyebrows at her and she burst out laughing. 

“I love you, you giant dork!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ye, I know the Bachelor airs in January, but then again it also usually films in Fall, not summer. I shifted things to make the timeline a little easier to manage.


	11. The Onslaught Begins

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The show begins airing, and things get rough.

The show started airing just before the real season play for the NHL. When Gretchen watched the games on TV with the others SOs, they would immediately click off commercials. Alexei got really good at deflecting questions about the show, or he would refuse to do press, sending out a revolving cast of other players who rarely got a chance to do press themselves. 

“Wow, I wonder what he bribed Guy with to jump on that grenade for him?” Christine asked, as they watched the post game interviews after their third real season game against Minnesota. “Guy hates doing press more than Zimmboni does.” 

Gretchen’s phone dinged. 

“Um, apparently, a portrait of Isabelle, like big enough for over the fireplace,” Gretchen read off her phone. “I’m texting back, ‘Yes, of course, baby. No problem.’” 

“Cannot wait for you to draw me like one of your French girls!” Isabelle giggled. 

“Izzy’s drunk. Someone take her wine!” Gabby called, laughing. 

“Non! Mine!” Isabelle cradled her wine glass protectively. 

“Thank you, guys. It has been easier knowing I have you guys.” Gretchen stuffed her phone back in her pocket. 

“How are you holding up, sweetheart?” Christine asked. “We worry.” 

“I’m doing ok.” Gretchen sipped her wine. “I hate it. But I’m doing ok. We’ve already had one ‘discussion’ with the network over their plans. But we’ll make it.” 

In St. Louis, after their seventh game and the third episode of the show, it was a group of former contestants, sitting together with signs. Gretchen closed her eyes, and let her head fall back. Alexei ignored them during warm-ups.

“You know what? Let’s just watch highlights later,” Gabby turned off the TV. “Anyone have anything they’ve been meaning to watch on Netflix?”

In Detroit, after the fifth episode aired, the news reported that a former contestant had shown up at Alexei’s hotel room after the game. 

“I know the fucking show is putting them up to this. None none of those girls were that crazy.” Gretchen propped her head in her hands on Eric and Jack’s kitchen island, a cup of coffee in front of her. 

“Well, at least he always rooms with Jack, so that wasn’t a thing.” Eric patted her shoulder. “Sausage or bacon with your waffles, hon?”

The breaking point came during the next roadie, and after the seventh episode. The Falcs played in Montreal. Alexei had been named game MVP and couldn’t get out of doing press. During the post-game, one of the girls from the show slipped through security, and planted a deep kiss on Alexei before security could stop her. Gretchen, who’d been watching the game alone in the apartment froze, staring at the screen.

“It’s just going to get worse.” She started to tear up. “I don’t… I can’t do this until December.” She left her phone on the kitchen island and went into the bedroom to start packing. 

She’d gotten one bag packed when someone knocked on the door. She ignored it, but the pounding got louder until she gave in and went to open it. Christine stood there, furious, holding her own phone. 

“I got her. I’m here.” She hung up, and pulled a sobbing Gretchen into her arms. “Sweetheart, no, you know he didn’t.” 

“I can’t, it’s just going to keep getting worse. It’s all about ratings! I know that!” She let Christine usher her into the apartment. “I don’t know why I thought, I mean, it’s the only reason they talked Alexei into keeping Gina on until the end, the fucking drama! I can’t take another two months of this bullshit!” 

“Gretchen, sweetheart, I need you to listen to me.” Christine took her by the upper arms. “What you and Alexei have is incredible. Right now, that boy is in Canada on the phone to his immigration lawyer trying to figure out if he’ll get deported if he quits hockey to stay home with you until this is over.” 

“What?”Gretchen stared at her with red-rimmed eyes. “He what?” 

“You heard me. He loves hockey more than anything, except you.” Christine cupped Gretchen’s face in both hands. “Third also heard him tell the network to go fuck themselves, and is about thirty seconds from calling his own press conference, consequences be damned.” 

“I, what?” Gretchen shook her head. 

“Look, you already have a bag packed, great. Grab your purse and your passport. We are going to Montreal. Now.” Christine gave her a gentle nudge toward the bedroom, then went and picked up Gretchen’s phone, slipping it in her own bag. 

“But the kids?” Gretchen asked. 

“Gabby’s got the kids. I’m taking you to Montreal. I need to text Third and let him know, and tell him to keep Alexei away from his phone.” She started texting. “Eric is already up at Bob and Alicia’s. We’ll go there. Their house is not a public place.” 

“Christine, I, you can’t.” Gretchen shook her head. “It’s not going away.” 

“It is because that girl that kissed Alexei is facing sexual assault charges right now.” Christine smiled, it wasn’t a happy expression, more a baring of teeth. “Since this shit started, the Falcs have been taking their own security along. They held her until the police got there. She’s been arrested. They will file charges against her whether or not Alexei cooperates, but I think he will. Now get your shit so we can get on the road.” 

Gretchen nodded and gathered the bag she’d been packing, her purse, and her passport, and followed Christine out to her car. Once they got to her car, Christine hugged her again. 

“You can do it, sweetheart. The two of you are good together. I am not letting those assholes fuck that up for the two of you. Do you understand me?” Christine held her tight. 

“Thank you, Christine. I’m sorry.” Gretchen started to cry again. 

“No sorry. Just get in the car and let’s get to your boy before he does something completely stupid.” Christine smiled at her, a genuine smile. “You can sleep, or we can talk, whatever.” 

“I think maybe I’m just gonna sleep.” Gretchen settled herself in the seat of Christine’s Lexus, and slowly drifted off. 

They woke her up at the border to make sure she was ok. She stayed awake, but quiet for the last part of the drive. They pulled up to a gated driveway, and Christine texted someone. The gates opened and she drove in and up to a large Tudor style house. 

Before the car had even stopped, Alexei was out the door. He opened the car door, and dropped to his knees in the snow to hug Gretchen while she was still buckled into her seat. 

“Golubka, was so worry!” He held tight. “Did not answer phone or text. Thirdy tell me Christine is bring you.” 

“She took my phone so I wouldn’t do anything dumb over it.” Gretchen started to cry, wrapping her arms around Alexei. “I’m sorry, baby! I’m so sorry! I freaked out and all I could think was it’s not going to stop, and.” She started to cry. 

“Shhh, golubka, shhh. We are being ok.” He hugged her tight. “Thirdy take my phone, same reason, he hear me talk to immigration lawyer.” 

“Let’s take this inside, guys.” Jack stood behind Alexei. Christine handed Jack, and an older brown-eyed version of Jack, his Dad, Gretchen guessed, Gretchen’s bag and purse. Gretchen unlatched her seatbelt, and let Alexei help her out of the car. He immediately scooped her up in his arms, which made her cry harder. 

Inside, he set her down, and everyone left them alone in a study. 

“Baby, you can’t quit hockey. You love hockey.” Gretchen sniffled, holding his hands and looking up at him. 

“I’m loving you more. Can maybe ask for leave of absence. Is affecting whole team.” Alexei pulled her close. “I’m loving you so much.” 

“Alexei, I love you so much. I’m sorry, I just… I didn’t know it would be so fucking hard!” She clung to him. “I didn’t think at all when I fell for you.” 

“Me, neither. Just know I’m love you, do whatever I’m have to for you.” He held her tight. “Not willing give you up because assholes.” 

Someone tapped on the door, and then opened it. Jack’s Dad, Thirdy and Christine walked in. 

“So, I may have yanked an NHL commissioner or two away from their dinners, but the network has been put on notice that they will be held responsible for any behavior like that by the past contestants of that show by the NHL and, in this case, Canada.” He smiled at them. “I’m Bob Zimmerman, Jack’s Dad,” he told Gretchen. 

“The Falconers are pursuing legal action against the show for the impact these incidents have had on the team, and on Tater’s performance. In the morning, Alexei and I will be going to the courthouse so he can give a deposition about the assault that occurred tonight on camera,” Thirdy told them. “Consider it payback for this shiner I’m sporting.” 

“You hit Thirdy?” Gretchen gasped. 

“No, Lorna hit Thirdy when he pull her off me.” Alexei sighed. 

“So we’re also filing assault charges for that.” Thirdy told her. “Listen, you two. You are not quitting hockey, and you are not breaking up. I won’t have it, not because of some stupid fucking show.” 

“We are being ok, I’m think.” Alexei looked down at Gretchen. “Are we?”

“Yeah, yeah, baby. I’m so fucking sorry.” She hugged him tight. 

“Ok. Now, has anyone eaten? Because I think Eric’s stress baked about a dozen pies.” Bob chuckled. “You should eat, if only to reassure him. He feels guilty because he came up here instead of being down there with you.” 

“I, he shouldn’t.” Gretchen bit her lower lip. “I thought I’d be ok. But, shit, I spent all week listening to people everywhere I went talking about it, and who would he choose, and it’s a lot, especially when I can’t even be with him in public.” 

“You are not allowed to watch any games alone, ever.” Christine told her. “Ever. If you don’t come over, one of us is going over there if we have to bribe the super to let us in. Not until this bullshit is over.” 

“Yeah, ok. Thank you, Christine, Bob, Thirdy.” She closed her eyes and held onto Alexei. “I love you.” 

“I’m love you, too, golubka.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you like it. 
> 
> The posting schedule for this is every weekday until it's done. I try to stay off the internet on the weekends, and off computers unless I'm working on my original fiction or one of my patreons. 
> 
> Also, it gives me something to look forward to before a long day of Zoom meetings. Day jobs...


	12. Are we good?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The day after, going back to the apartment, and dinner with Bad Bob and Alicia.

The coaches let Alexei miss the next game against Columbus, they were in a rebuilding year, and not much of a threat, and he went back to Providence with Christine and Gretchen. Christine dropped them off at the building, and they went into the apartment. The TV still on, her stuff strewn across the bedroom, Gretchen started to cry again. Alexei pulled her into his arms, holding her tight and kissing the top of her head. 

“Golubka, we will being ok.” He rubbed her back. “I’m love you so much.” 

“I love you, too! I didn’t even know where I was gonna go, I just wanted to run away.” She held onto him, shaking. “I’m so fucking tired.”

“I’m know.” He cradled her face in his hands. “I’m going put you in bath, clean up in here a little, no get mad if I’m put stuff in wrong places, and then I’m come in and soak with you. We can be talking or just cuddle.” 

“Ok, thank you, baby. You are amazing!” She closed her eyes as he kissed her. 

“No, you.” He pulled back, and then kissed her nose. “I’m have own freak out at rink. Thirdy, Marty, Zimmboni calm me down.” 

“Actually, why don’t we work on this together, and lets talk about anything other than the show.” She covered his hands with her own. “Then we can soak.” 

“Ok. Best ideas.” He pulled her in for another hug, and then they started cleaning up the bedroom. 

Around 4pm Eric texted. 

ErictheBitty: Ya’ll are comin’ to dinner. I won’t hear no.  
GDM: Ok. What time?  
ErictheBitty: 6. Bob and Alicia came down with us. He’s going to flirt with you shamelessly. It’s what he does.  
GDM: Eh. Tell him to do his worst.   
ErictheBitty: NO ONE WANTS THAT.

“What you are giggling at?” Alexei asked, wrapping an arm around her waist. 

“Eric texted that we are invited to dinner and he won’t hear no. Also Bob and Alicia came down with them, and he warned me that Bob is going to flirt shamelessly.” She texted back, 

GDM: Oh, yeah?

“Bad Bob is being worst. Know I am being afraid of him, trying to steal my fiancee.” Alexei pulled her close and nuzzled her neck and shoulder. 

“Well, he’s shit out of luck, because I’m kind of hung up on this great big Russian dork.” She set her phone on the nightstand and rolled over to face him. “Hi.” 

“Hi.” He pulled her closer. “Good nap?”

“Yeah. I love you. I’m sorry,” she started. 

“Shhh, no more apologize. Is being ok.” He leaned in and kissed her, a quick, chaste peck. “We are being ok.” 

“Yeah, we are.” She wrapped herself around him, arms and legs holding tight. 

“Allo.” Bob opened the door when they knocked. “Come in! Eric is in the kitchen, Alicia and Jack are in the living room. And you both look much better than the last time I saw you.” 

“Actual sleep will do that for you, I hear.” Gretchen scrunched up her nose. “Thank you for letting us stay at your place last night.” 

“No problem.” Bob gestured for them to precede him into the living room. “Tater was a great friend to Jack when he started.” 

“Hi, are you two feeling better?” Alicia stood up and walked over to hug them both. 

“Yes, very much, thank you, Mrs. Bad Bob.” Alexei nodded, hugging her. 

“Gretchen, sweetie, I know you don’t want to talk about the s-h-o-w, but how did you not know he was into you in Madrid?” Alicia asked. “He made those poor girls go to that huge museum, just so he could buy you some Goya prints. And I only say ‘poor girls’ because it was apparent they had no interest in being there whatsoever.”

“Um, I’ve never actually seen the footage, and he didn’t tell me that.” She turned to look at Alexei. 

“You are mention you liking Goya.” Alexei beamed at her. “I’m want to get you prints.” 

“Alexei followed the tour guide around listening, rapt, to everything he said about Goya and those paintings, with those girls all trying desperately to get his attention.” Alicia laughed. 

“I’m want to know about things you love.” Alexei blushed.

“Also, you don’t really think he just ‘happened’ to find you in the hotel gardens in Jamaica, do you?” Bob asked. Eric snorted. “What? Alicia watches it. I’m just in the room.” 

“I’m tell you, I’m should have known first week it was being you.” Alexei squeezed her hand. 

“Ok, yeah.” She squeezed back. 

Over dinner, Bob told stories about Jack, including the time he shit in the Stanley Cup when Bob tried to put him in it as an infant. Jack sighed, and shook his head. 

“He tells that story to everyone, including every team I have ever been on.” Jack gave a small smile, looking at his Dad. 

“It’s hilarious. Also, I should have known better.” Bob shrugged. 

“Oh, yeah, the curse.” Gretchen nodded. Alexei turned to look at her. “What?”

“I’m knowing you are liking hockey, but I’m not realize you are knowing that well.” He beamed. “Every day, finding out you are best. More evidence.” 

“You are a gigantic dork and I love you. I grew up in Michigan, baby. There are two choices: football or hockey. I hate football.” 

“Did you ever play?” Bob asked. 

“I tried one season when I was little, but with the funeral home, there was no guarantee my folks would be able to get me to the rink on any given weekend. So, I kind of dropped it.” She paused. “My folks did try to sponsor a team. The league turned them down.” 

“I bet.” Bob laughed out loud. 

“Oh dear.” Alicia reached over to pat her hand. 

“They told them they didn’t have to put ‘funeral home’ on the jerseys, or even our name.” Gretchen rolled her eyes. 

Eric’s phone dinged, and then dinged again, and again. 

“Excuse me, ya’ll.” He pulled his phone out. “Oh, lord” 

“What is it, bud?” Jack leaned over. 

“Kent Parson just tweeted, “I cannot believe the coolest girl on the Bachelor is actually falling for Mashkov. #TeamGretchen #SaveYourself.” Eric looked skyward. 

“Worst.” Alexei scowled. 

“You follow Parson?” Gretchen asked. 

“No. Half the team does, former team, Samwell. I got it from Lardo, Dex, Nursey, Chowder.” Bitty sighed. “And I got a DM from Jenna with a line of laughing emojis.” 

“Is he still mad about that time you picked him up on the ice?” Gretchen asked. She looked over at Jack’s shocked expression. “Dude, it was on highlight shows for weeks. Alexei picking him up and shaking him like a naughty puppy. It still shows up from time to time.” 

“Not that Kenny didn’t deserve it.” Bob lifted his eyebrows. “He always was a little shit, pushing boundaries where he could.” 

“Totally deserve.” Alexei scowled, and pulled out his own phone, typed on it for a second, and then put it away. 

“Really, Tater?” Eric snorted. He turned his phone so they could read Alexei’s reply: 

@KVP90 Bite me, little rat.   
@TaterMashkov7 You’re not my type, big guy. ;)

“Stop.” Gretchen put a hand on Alexei’s wrist before he could pull out his phone again. “You are not engaging in a twitter fight with Kent Parson during dinner.” 

“Sorry, golubka.” He leaned over to kiss her, gently. “Parson is being so annoying.” 

“He can have that affect on people,” Bob said. Alicia hummed warningly at him. 

“Kenny and I dated, in high school.” Jack told Gretchen. “It didn’t end well.” 

“I figured. Tater alluded to history, and well, I think hockey fans are the only people who don’t know he’s gay.” Gretchen shrugged. “At least most of Hollywood and the porn industry are aware.” 

“Really?” Jack frowned. 

“Is what she is telling me, I’m try to be subtle, just say you have history,” Alexei told Jack. “She is saying she is knowing he is ‘gayer than unicorn farts.’” 

Bob burst out laughing. 

“Industry people talk, and yeah, he’s dating a porn star and really just trying too hard.” Gretchen pointed out. “I don’t think he realizes how many people know, but they also aren’t blabbing about it, much. At least not outside industry circles.” 

“Really, Gretchen?” Bitty narrowed his eyes at her. 

“It’s how my friend Dom described it. He worked on a couple of Blaise’s movies, and saw them together a lot.” Gretchen elbowed Alexei. “You could have left that part off, jerk.” 

“No, it’s perfect!” Bob wiped the tears off his cheeks. “But, if you could not repeat that to anyone in hockey, I would appreciate it.” 

“Nah, not gonna out him in the last place that doesn’t know.” Gretchen waved a hand. “Just, Alexei was trying so hard to be uncharacteristically subtle, for him, I figured I better just let him know I knew before he strained something.” 

“Rude.” Alexei poked her in the side. 

“Kenny will be horrified if he ever figures it out,” Jack shook his head. 

“I dunno. Dom said he seemed happier there than he typically does in the press. Like he was aware and was ok with it.” Gretchen frowned. “That could just be Dom’s wishful thinking, because he’s also been crushing on Parson since he was a tiny baby Gay living in Toronto. In fact I’m kind of surprised my phone isn’t blowing up because Dom’s seen that tweet.” 

“You turn off ringer, because Pearl keep bugging you about something,” Alexei told her. 

“Oh, yeah.” Gretchen put down her fork to rub her face. 

“Pearl Robinson?” Bob asked. 

“Yes, golubka has replace me as Pearl’s favorite.” Alexei chuckled. 

“I don’t know that I have. Mostly it was Pearl reminding me to remind you that you owe her something ‘secret’ for her birthday.” She turned toward Alexei. “She said I’m supposed to ask you about it.” 

“She is wanting me to do your hair in afropuffs, and hers.” Alexei leaned forward to kiss her cheek. 

“We’ll talk.” She kissed him back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In the webcomic, Bad Bob doesn't start out as the most likable character, but by the time we get to the end of Year 2, he does develop into a way better Dad. 
> 
> And I can totally see him and Alicia spoiling the crap out of any kids Jack and Bitty have.


	13. Mission of Mercy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> CONTENT WARNING: ANIMAL DEATH
> 
> Pearl sees a pregnant stray dog hit by a car, and calls Gretchen "because she's closer and better with blood and stuff."

CW: Animal death

Gretchen carried a load of laundry to the machine, and dumped it in. Her phone rang, and she glanced at the display. 

“What’s up, Pearl?” She held the phone to her head while she dumped soap in the machine. In response she heard sobbing. “Pearl?”

“Dog! Someone hit a dog, and mom’s in a meeting, and it’s alive…” Pearl choked the words out. 

“Pearl, where are you?” Gretchen closed the lid, hit start, and went to grab her keys. “I’ll be right there. Text me the address or cross streets.” She grabbed her purse, keys, and slid her feet into shoes, before running to the elevator. The Falcs were out of town, again. 

Getting in her Bronco, she looked at her phone, and saw a pair of cross streets. She put them into her gps app, and headed out. It wasn’t far, near a comic shop Pearl liked. She spotted the little girl sitting on the ground next to a bloody dog. 

“Oh, fuck.” She double parked and hit her emergency blinkers, grabbing an old blanket out of the back. The dog didn’t look good. It feebly wagged its tail, and licked Pearl’s hand. 

“Gretchen?” Pearl looked up, tears run down her face. 

“It’s ok, babygirl. We’ll get the dog to a vet. Take my phone and do a search for emergency vet, ok, sweetheart?” She handed Pearl her phone, and laid out the blanket, easing the dog onto it before she scooped the animal up in her arms. The dog cried, and Pearl sobbed. 

“Can you open the back for me, sweetheart? And if you want to ride with her, that’s ok.” The dog looked to be at least part lab, from what she could tell. Someone honked. “Go fuck yourself!” Gretchen muttered. “Spread out that sleeping bag for her. It’s at least a little padding.” Pearl climbed up in the back and spread out the sleeping bag. Gretchen eased the dog onto it, and once Pearl had settled herself next to the dog, Gretchen took her phone back and carefully shut the tailgate. 

The vet wasn’t far either. Gretchen flipped off impatient horn guy, and got into the driver’s seat, setting her phone in its bracket, she navigated to the vet, and once they got there called them. 

“Hi! I’m right outside in a Bronco. I have a dog that got hit by a car, can you bring a stretcher. I don’t want to hurt her anymore than we have to.” Gretchen opened the car door, and heard Pearl gasp. “Pearl, talk to me!” 

“She’s having puppies!” Pearl started crying again. 

“The dog is giving birth.” Gretchen closed the driver’s door and went to the back, to see a couple of people in scrubs coming out with a stretcher. She hung up and went to open the tailgate for them. “She’s having puppies!” she called to them. 

“Ok, thanks for the heads up.” They eased her, blanket and all onto the stretcher. Pearl got out, and Gretchen shut the Bronco and the two of them followed the vet techs in. 

“We’ll cover whatever she needs,” Gretchen told the receptionist. “Pearl saw her get hit, and no one came forward to help her.” She took a deep breath. “I have a lot of words for people like that.” 

“The vet’s in with her now, and her puppies. There’s a restroom right there where you two can get cleaned up, and then have a seat in the waiting area, ok?” The receptionist spoke calmly, and pointed. Gretchen led Pearl over and into the bathroom and almost laughed when she saw their reflections. 

“Oh, Pearl, your mom is going to strangle us.” Gretchen shook her head. “Let’s get cleaned up as best we can, and when your mom’s out of her meeting we’ll give her a call, ok?” 

Pearl nodded, and they went to the sinks to wash their hands. Pearl pulled off her coat and school uniform sweater. Gretchen helped her rinse and wipe the blood off the coat, and turned the sweater inside out before stuffing it in Pearl’s backpack. Gretchen scrubbed up her own arms. Fortunately, the blanket had protected her clothes from the worst of the blood. 

“Ok, I think we look less like a crime scene. Let’s sit in the waiting area until they have something to tell us.” Gretchen hugged the girl. “You did what you could, sweetheart. You did a good thing calling me.” 

Pearl clutched at Gretchen’s hand, and they went to sit down. After a bit, Pearl’s phone rang. 

“Mama?” Pearl started to cry, and Gretchen took the phone from her. 

“Christine, it’s Gretchen. Pearl’s ok.”

“Thank god! What happened?” Christine still sounded frantic. 

“She saw a dog get hit by a car, and when no one would help her, she called me. We’re at the emergency vet on S. Hamilton right now.” Gretchen pulled Pearl in against her side. 

“I’m not far from there. I’ll be there in a few.” Christine hung up. 

“Your mama’s coming, sweetheart.” Gretchen handed her phone back. 

“What if the dog isn’t ok? What about her puppies?” Pearl asked. 

“We’ll see what the vet says.” Gretchen kissed the top of Pearl’s head. She pulled out her own phone and saw the blood smears on it. “Shit. Hold tight, kiddo.” She got up and went to the counter. “I don’t suppose you have like a wet nap or Kleenex or something.” She held up her phone. 

“Yeah, here’s an alcohol swab.” The woman handed her a little foil packet. “And there’s the Kleenex.” 

“Thank you.” Gretchen wiped off her phone, and texted Alexei. 

GDM: Long story, but I am at an emergency vet with Pearl. Christine is on her way.   
Tater-tot: You and Pearl are being ok?  
GDM: Yes. There’s a hurt dog. Pearl saw her get hit.   
Tater-tot: Poor Pearl. You are paying for dog?  
GDM: Given what emergency vets charge, you are paying for dog. We may also come out of this with puppies.   
Tater-Tot: :D  
GDM: You’ve never had puppies have you?  
Tater-Tot: No, I’m always want dog. Too much going on. 

“Your uncle Tater is a dork.” Gretchen told Pearl. 

Christine got there about twenty minutes later. 

“Mama!” Pearl ran to her, and hugged her, crying again. 

“Pearl, are you all right, baby?” Christine hugged Pearl, and kissed her forehead. 

“I’m fine, mama. They haven’t told us anything yet.” Pearl held onto her mother with one hand while she wiped her face with the other. 

“I told her she did the right thing, calling me.” Gretchen told Christine. 

“You did, sweetheart.” Christine kissed Pearl’s forehead again. “You could have called me, though.’ 

“The calendar said you were in a meeting, a red meeting.” Pearl looked up at her mother. 

“Ok, yes, it was a red meeting.” She looked over at Gretchen. “We color code things on our family calendar.” 

“And Gretchen was closer.” Pearl walked her mother over to sit down by Gretchen. “And she’s used to blood and stuff.” 

“Ok, ok, I understand why you called Gretchen.” Christine laughed. 

Just then, a vet came out of the back. 

“Yes?” Gretchen asked. 

“I’m sad to say the mother did not make it. I’m sorry.” The vet paused while Pearl started to cry, and clung to her mother. “But five of the six puppies did, and are very healthy. Ordinarily one of our foster people would take them at least until we could wean them, but they’re all full.” 

“Oh, I am going to regret this.” Gretchen took a deep breath. “If you can sell me the stuff to do it and tell me how to bottle raise them, I’ll do it. It’s been a while, but I should be ok with a refresher.” 

“Really?!” Pearl turned to hug Gretchen. 

“Yes, but you and your sister, and anyone else we can rope into it are helping,” Gretchen glared at Pearl. 

“Jenna’s not working right now,” Christine pointed out. “We can probably put together some kind of rotation that will let you get some sleep.” She pulled out her phone and started texting.

“The puppies can stay in our guest room, like Alexei will let me do it any other way.” Gretchen rubbed her face. “Ok, kiddo, you and me are going to learn how to bottle raise puppies.” 

GDM: You are the proud father of five tiny potatoes.   
Tater-Tot: :D Best!

“No offense, sweetie, but do you really need another stressor?” Christine asked, while the vet assistants settled the puppies in a carrier with some heat packs.

“To be honest, it’ll probably keep my mind off that damn show better than anything else,” Gretchen told her. “And I’ve done it before. At least we won’t have to de-stink these.” 

“You bottle-raised baby skunks?” Christine asked. 

“Just one. Have you ever seen baby skunks? They’re adorable!” Gretchen turned to watch Pearl fussing over the puppies with the vet techs. “I’ll text Bitty and Jenna to help tonight. I mean, the guys are on the road, I can’t imagine they’ll hate having a sleepover.” 

“Mama, can we keep one of the puppies?” Pearl asked, walking over. 

“We’ll need to check with your Dad.” Christine pulled Pearl in for a hug. “I imagine with both you and your sister working on him it won’t take long for him to come around.” 

“When these guys are a little older, we can talk about who’s going to take who.” Gretchen started to reach for her wallet. 

“I got this.” Christine shook her head. “This is going to be a team effort.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When in doubt, up the angst, says I.


	14. The Final Rose

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Final Rose episode airs, and the gang comes over to Tater and Gretchen's to watch. 
> 
> CW: Mention of animal death.

The night episode ten aired, ‘The Final Rose,” the Falcs were in town. Thirdy, Christine and the girls, Marty, Gabby and their kids, Jack, Eric, Bob and Alicia, and Jenna and Snowy all came over. Guy and Isabelle begged off. Eric brought pies, and various snacky things. Gretchen, Alicia, Lena, Claire and Jenna bottle-fed the puppies, and everyone settled in to watch. Alicia had a puppy sleeping in her lap. 

“What do you think they’re going to look like?” Jenna asked, stroking the puppy in her lap. 

“Their mom looked maybe like a shepherd-lab mix. The vet agreed with me on that.” Gretchen had a puppy in her lap, as did Alexei, and Thirdy. 

“I’m read in TV guide, is having night we talked by pool in it.” Alexei cuddled the puppy. “If not promise puppy to Pearl and Jenna, I’m say we keep all five.” 

“This apartment is not big enough for five dogs,” Gretchen told him. “I’m not sure it’ll be big enough for three if we can’t find any other takers.” She looked up at him. “You don’t think they left it in, do you?” Her eyes went wide.

“No. Is being network.” Alexei scoffed. “Would not.” 

“Left what in?” Gabby asked. 

“Nothing!” Gretchen blushed, and sunk down in the couch.

**The show opened with Gretchen sitting on the side of the pool, her feet dangling in the water, drinking from a plastic water bottle.**

“That’s not water, is it?” Jenna snickered. 

“Nope. White wine. I liberated it from the mansion.” Gretchen scooted closer to Alexei. 

**On the screen Alexei sat next to her, and they could be heard faintly, the editors had helpfully added subtitles. There was some back and forth about the contestants, and the trips, and then Alexei suggests swimming.**

**“I don’t have my suit,” on-screen Gretchen shook her head.**

**“Can go skinny-dipping,” Alexei suggested.**

“How did you not know?!?” Jenna shrieked, her puppy whimpered. “Oh, so sorry, sweetheart. I’m sorry.” She looked up from the puppy. “How did you not know?” she stage whispered at Gretchen. 

“Shut up.” Gretchen sank lower in her seat. 

**“Mashkov, this place is lousy with cameras,” on-screen Gretchen said.**

**“So, they edit.” Alexei stood up to strip down to get in the pool.**

**“Jesus Christ, Mashkov! Do horses say they’re hung like you?”**

“Oh no.” Gretchen covered her face with her hands. 

“Oh, my God, girl! You, I can’t believe they left that in.” Christine cackled. Everyone else was laughing, except for Pearl, who frowned. Lena leaned over and whispered in her ear. 

“Ew!” Pearl blurted. Christine laughed until she snorted. The other adults broke off into fresh peals of laughter. 

“I’m not believe they leave it in.” Alexei leaned over to kiss her. “You are not being wrong.” 

“Don’t you start. And we need better friends.” Gretchen muttered. 

**On-screen, Alexei pulled her into the pool with him, and they had a splash fight.**

“Girl, don’t lie. You love us.” Christine gasped for air. “Oh my lord, child. That was amazing. And screw the network, Gabby and I are taking you out for lunch and a spa day tomorrow. You need a massage in the worst way. I’m sure Alicia won’t mind puppy-sitting.”

“I don’t.” Alicia was still giggling. “Oh, sweetheart!” 

“Yeah, ok.” Gretchen snuggled closer to Alexei. 

“You’ve killed Bob, I hope you’re happy.” Eric blushed a dark pink, he pointed at Bob who was clutching his ribs, and laughing almost soundlessly, tears streaming down his cheeks. 

“There was drinking, and I didn’t know we were being recorded, though I suspected.” Gretchen let her head fall back. 

“B! She is being right!” Alexei laughed. 

“Tater!” Eric squeaked, turning red. “I did not need to hear that! TMI.” 

“She really is,” Jack confirmed, one corner of his mouth quirking up. 

“Mr. Zimmerman!” Eric drew himself up, and Bob started laughing even harder. 

“What? I didn’t look, but it’s hard to miss.” Jack winked at Gretchen on the side Eric couldn’t see.

“Truth!” Thirdy called out. 

“Ya’ll!” Eric turned redder. 

**After the commercial break, they did a montage of moments from the show, leading up to this moment. They showed Gretchen doing Alexei’s make-up that last time, and the quiet sob.**

“Oh, sweetheart.” Alicia looked over at her. Thirdy and Marty had tears in their eyes. 

**They showed Alexei ready for the final rose ceremony. He took the rose and walked up to Mandi. The two of them were mic-ed.**

**“Mandi, I’m really like you, but I’m love Gretchen.” Alexei held her hand as he told her.**

**“I know that.” Mandi smiled. “You’re not subtle. You should go tell her that.”**

**“Thank you for understand, Mandi.” Alexei smiled, and his shoulders relaxed under the tux jacket. Mandi kissed his cheek, and he ran off. The camera guys followed him all the way to a trailer clearly marked “Make Up.” Alexei opened the door, silhouetted in the light from inside the trailer.**

**“Alexei, what are you doing here?”**

**And then “To Be Continued” flashed on the screen.**

“Oh, come on!” Bob yelled. Marty and Thirdy threw popcorn at the screen. 

“It’s a reality TV show.” Gretchen snorted. “And don’t wake up the puppies.” 

“They’re not waking up anytime soon. They sleep harder than one of these guys at the end of playoffs.” Alicia told Gretchen. “I have to admit, I teared up, even knowing you guys get together.” 

“Snow was crying,” Jenna cooed, ruffling his hair. 

“Shut up, you were crying.” Snowy gently pushed Jenna over. 

“I was. My heart hurt watching that.” Jenna sniffled, cradling her puppy as she righted herself. “I can’t even imagine.” 

“It sucked so much,” Gretchen admitted. “I was planning on drinking myself unconscious so I wouldn’t have to think about what was going on in the suite.” 

“And then I’m come back, and she is knowing what is going on in suite.” Alexei waggled his eyebrows at her. 

“You think you’re cute, Mashkov.” Gretchen’s phone dinged. 

“What Dom have to say?” Alexei nudged her. 

“Um, he says, that he died for me, and that Kent Parson is tweeting about me again.” Gretchen opened twitter. 

@KVP90 

_She said that!?!? They aired that?!?! I love her more now! #TeamGretchen_

_I cannot believe I’m rooting for Mashkov to nut up and tell her. #TeamGretchen._

_Crying literal tears, I am so sad right now you guys. #TeamGretchen_

_Mandi may be my second favorite person on this show. #TeamGretchen_

_Fuck your cliffhanger, NBC! #TeamGretchen #ImNotCryingYoureCrying_

Gretchen laughed, and followed Kent, then tweeted at him. 

@GDMake-up

_Hey, Parson. DM me. #IAmTeamGretchen_

DMs:

Yes, That Kent Parson

_You’re tweeting at me from his living room, aren’t you?_

_Maybe._

_Tell meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee_

_What’s it worth to you?_

_Name your price._

_I want to do your girlfriend’s make up. I love her face._

_Done._

_Shouldn’t you ask her?_

_She’s reading over my shoulder. I’m out with a knee injury tonight._

_Explains why you’re live tweeting the Bachelor instead of playing._

_Tell. Me._

_Yes._

_I knew it! He really isn’t subtle._

_Nah, not really._

“You are DM-ing with Parson? Betray!” Alexei sniffled. “Would go sulk if not held down by puppy.” 

“I would murder my own mother for a chance to do his girlfriend’s make up. I am in love with her bone structure.” Gretchen snorted. 

“Tell Kenny we said hi,” Alicia said. Eric looked betrayed. “Eric, we practically adopted him as a teenager.” 

“It’s ok, Bits.” Jack slipped an arm around him. 

“Ok, ya’ll. I get it.” Eric sighed. “I truly do.” 

DMs:

_Bob and Alicia say hi. They’re here watching the show with us. Also, how are you watching it now?_

_I’m in a hotel in NY. Blaise came out with me so I could take her to see a production of ThreePenny Opera._

_Zimmerman? Hi, back. I miss them._

_Blaise says follow her so she can DM you._

_I already follow her, also these. <Pic>_

_OMG! OMG! OMG! PUPPIES!!!!!!_

_They’re tiny, how old are they?_

_Less than a week. Their mom got hit by a car. The vet couldn’t save her, so we’re bottle raising._

_Fuck, I love you even more now. You sure you want to marry Mashkov?_

_You know, you could let that go?_

_His face could let it go._

“If I get the chance to do Blaise Diamante’s make-up, you and Parson had best behave yourselves.” She turned her head to glare are Alexei. 

“I’m be civil if he is being civil.” Alexei kissed the puppy on his chest. 

“So, that’s a no.” Gretchen rolled her eyes. 

Alicia laughed out loud. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A lot of my take on Kent is taken from fic as we just don't know that much about him, apart from he and Jack dated, he is deeply closeted (or thinks he is), and gets mean when he's emotionally hurt. 
> 
> You Got Me Wanting You by Achilleees and Begin Again by Aleia are where a lot of my Kent come from. I highly recommend both. You Got Me Wanting You is a Dex/Nursey/Kent fic, and Aleia's Begin Again series is one of my favorites.


	15. The Final Rose - Continued

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The rest of the finale, including footage at Gretchen's family BBQ and interviews with her parents.

Unfortunately, the Falcs were out of town the next weekend when the next episode aired. But the wives and kids came over again. Isabelle made it over, with a bottle of really nice wine, and a box of chocolates. Alicia and Bob had gone back to Montreal, but insisted on video chatting in to watch with them. The puppies had opened their eyes and had started trying to toddle around.

“You ready for this?” Christine sat on the couch next to Gretchen. Pearl scooted around on the floor after puppies.

“Yeah, I mean, it’s gotta be easier than last week.” Gretchen rubbed her face. One of the puppies wobbled over to the couch and cried for Gretchen to pick it up. “Ok, Ok, Gordie.” She cuddled it.

“I’m hurt you didn’t name one after me!” Bob’s face came into view.

“You’re still alive. No dogs named after alive people in this house.” Gretchen scratched around the puppies ears.

“Willie O’Rees is still alive.” Pearl yelled.

“And you can name your puppy after an alive person. We are not.” She scowled at Pearl.

“Here, quit fighting with the child.” Bitty handed Gretchen a mug of hot spiced, cider, liberally laced with bourbon

“Why do you hate my liver?” She sipped her drink.

“Oh! It’s starting!” Jenna bounced in her chair, puppy on her lap.

**Alexei ran through the dark to the make-up trailer and opened the door.**

**“Alexei, what are you doing here?” The camera peered over Alexei’s shoulder at Gretchen, with her hands full of brushes, her make-up run down her face from crying.**

**“Gretchen, you tell me follow my heart, listen to what make it happy.” Alexei took a step forward, and held out the rose. The camera guy tried to edge around Alexei to get a better angle. “You make my heart happy. Best times I’m have on show are talking to you in make-up chair, sitting next to pool the other night.”**

**Gretchen dropped the make-up brushes with a soft clatter and took the rose from his hand.**

**“I, I’m not a contestant, I’m not supposed to.” She looked up at him, tearing up again.**

“Oh, my God!” Gabby wept openly in her chair.

“Oh, hon.” Bitty sniffled and wiped his eyes.

“Chere!” Isabelle clutched her drink to her chest, holding it in both hands, tears running down her cheeks.

**“I’m not care. You are being who I’m want. Gretchen, please? Make me happiest man on planet.” He stepped in closer. Alexei leaned down to kiss her,. She lifted her head to meet him halfway, and his arms wrapped around her. She slid her hands up around the back of his neck, and held on, breaking off the kiss to look into his eyes.**

**Someone cleared their throat at the door, show host, Chris Harrison.**

**“Right, so, you wanna fix your make up and come join us on set?” Chris asked. “Because I, for one, am not fighting this guy over his choice.”**

**“Yeah, give me a few minutes.” Gretchen rested her forehead against Alexei’s chest, laughing. And the show went to commercial.**

“Holy fucking shit!” Jenna sobbed, and then hushed as her puppy whined. “That is the most romantic thing I have ever seen!”

“He’s pretty gross that way.” Gretchen agreed, her own eyes stinging a little.

“I still don’t believe you didn’t know sooner,” Alicia said from Gretchen’s laptop.

“I’m a little slow on the uptake, ok.” Gretchen let her head fall back. “Ugh, I miss him when he’s on the road.”

“The Aces aren’t playing tonight,” Bob told them. “Kenny’s tweeting.”

“Oh lord,” Gretchen pulled out her phone.

@KVP90  
 _What did I just see? How does that thug pull off the most romantic proposal in the history of proposals? #TeamGretchen_  
 _I have tears in my eyes from that shit. What the hell? #TeamGretchen_

@BlazingDiamond  
 _That was beautiful. #TeamGretchen_

“Oh, starting again!”Pearl said from the floor.

**“Ladies and gentlemen, we have a first for the Bachelor.” Chris Harrison stood in front of the remaining two contestants. Mandy had tears on her cheeks and couldn’t quit smiling, Gina had her arms folded over her chest, pouting. Alexei walked in, hand in hand with Gretchen, still wearing her work clothes and holding the rose.**

**“I’m so happy for you!” Mandy ran over to hug Gretchen, high heels clacking on the stone floor. “You are the best! You’re going to be so happy!”**

**“Ok, seriously, Harrison, if you don’t make this girl the next Bachelorette, you’re an idiot.” Gretchen hugged Mandy back. “Thanks, babe.”**

**“The make up girl? Really?” Gina stomped off set, waiting until the cameras were rolling to make her grand exit.**

“Fuck that bitch,” Lena muttered. Claire high-fived her.

“Language!” Christine said, pushing the teenaged girl with her sock-clad foot.

**“Alexei, this is unprecedented even for this show. Why?” Chris asked.**

**“For same reason you guys are putting her on camera with me so much. I’m like Gretchen, can relax with her. She make me laugh, is being very smart, so talent. I’m thinking maybe she is liking me, too, but only ever tell me to do what is making me happy, even if maybe that make her sad.” Alexei looked over at her,. “Give best advice, maybe should take it.”**

**“Shut up, Mashkov,” Gretchen muttered. Mandy beamed, hugged her one more time, blew Alexei a kiss and walked off, head high.**

**“Gretchen, I think it was pretty obvious at the end of that last chair session that you were having a rough time with knowing Tater was going to choose Mandy or Gina,” Chris rolled the footage of their last conversation, and the tiny sob that accompanied Tater leaving the trailer.**

**“I thought I’d stifled that.” Gretchen sighed. “Yeah, I was having a hard time with it. But I wanted him to be happy, and Mandy’s amazing. She is literally the physical embodiment of rainbows and sunshine given human form. I had a bottle of vodka and some Ben & Jerry’s all ready to go.” Gretchen looked up at Alexei. “I was going to practice being happy for him in the morning.”**

**“Not having to pretend now.” Alexei leaned in for a kiss. “Most beautiful.”**

**“Well, I guess there’s nothing left but the night in his suite,” Chris said. “Have a good night.”**

**“Yes, hope so.” Alexei smiled at her.**

**“We have some talking to do first, but, yeah. Same.” Alexei lead her off set. The camera followed them up to his suite, where Alexei very firmly closed the door.**

**Then they rolled footage of the next morning. The film crew tapped on the door.**

**“Come in!” Alexei called.**

**“I hope we’re not interrupting anything.” Chris Harrison stepped in.**

**“Not right now.” Alexei winked at the camera.**

**“You are the worst, Mashkov.” Gretchen mumbled in his ear.**

“How did I miss that giant hickey on Alexei’s neck when I did our make-up?” Gretchen asked, staring at the screen.

“Did you put it there?” Christine elbowed her.

“Um, yeah.” Gretchen blushed.

**“Good night?” Chris asked, leaning against the wall.**

**“Very good.” Alexei kissed her again. “Take break to text friend, help us find studio for Gretchen back in Providence. Give her chance to focus on art for while.”**

**“We’ve still got some things to figure out, but we’re going to do this.” Gretchen looked at Alexei. “He’s amazing.”**

**“Best. Best fiancee, best.” Alexei kissed her. “Can’t wait introduce you to team.”**

**“You do realize that we have to make a trip to Michigan for you to meet my family, right?” She cupped his cheek in her hand.**

**“Can’t wait. You tell me so much about them.” Alexei turned to kiss her hand. “Not sure we have time for trip to Russia, but maybe Mama and Papa come to US meet you.”**

**“Baby, your mother sounds terrifying,” Gretchen whispered.**

**“She will love you. If she does not, well, she is go back to Russia. You are here with me.” He kissed her. “I’m love you, golubka.”**

**“I swear, Mashkov, if that means poop or dork, you are in so much trouble.” She giggled.**

**“Means ‘dove.’” He kissed her again. “Maybe not right nickname for you, so fierce.”**

**“I can still give you boils.” She kissed him back, though, and the camera crew and Chris backed out of the rom.**

**“Double dog dare you.” Alexei’s rumbling chuckle followed them out of the room.**

“Oh my God!” Claire squealed. “You guys are so cute together! I mean, I knew that, but holy shit. You glow!”

“And language to you, too, Young Lady.” Gabby shot Claire a look.

“His mom’s really not that scary,” Christine told her, sipping her drink.

“I don’t know about that,” Gretchen shuddered. “The way he talks about her and the girls he tried to date when he was younger.”

**The rest of the show was film of them leaving her apartment for the trip back east, photos they took across the country. Then they got to the footage of the BBQ at with her family. Alexei immediately picked up the nearest toddler.**

“That’s my cousin Carmen’s little girl, Miranda.” She waited.

“Really?” Christine asked, rolling her eyes.

“No, her name’s Rose. I tried to talk Carmen into naming her Miranda. She said I’m not as funny as I think I am.” Gretchen giggled.

“She’s right.” Christine turned back to the screen. “Did he put her down at all?”

“He tried, and she screwed up her face like she was going to start crying, and he scooped her back up immediately.” Gretchen sighed. “He’s a sucker.”

“He really is.” Gabby laughed.

**There was footage of the funeral home, and Gretchen’s parents giving a quick tour. At one point they looked at each other, and Gretchen saw the wink.**

“Oh, they didn’t!” Gretchen breathed, as her parents led the crew to the back room where they prepped bodies.

**“So, this is where Gretchen started doing make-up?” The camera guy asked.**

**“Oh, yes. She was a whiz at facial reconstruction, too,” her Dad said. “Did her first hunting accident at what, 13?”**

**“Something like that,” her mom nodded. “She learned so much, and does some incredible special effects make-up because of it. She made her high school drama teacher throw up when she created a head wound on someone for a play once.”**

“They are the worst.” Gretchen sank down into the couch.

“I see where you get it.” Gabby snorted.

**Then they went to an interview with some of the effects people she’d worked on horror movies with.**

**“Gretchen is the greatest!” Mike from GoreFfects FX Studio enthused. “A real artist! I have never seen anyone who could recreate wounds so realistically on our budgets.” They discussed some of the films she’d done.**

**Then the show went back to the family BBQ, where Gretchen’s grandmothers were interrogating Alexei.**

**“You’ll do,” Nana Daisy nodded her head.**

“Fuck me.” Gretchen covered her head with her arms.

“Language,” Christine responded automatically. Gretchen lifted her head to give her a look. “Sorry.”

**On screen the camera guy interviewed her parents again.**

**“You can tell how in love they are just watching them together.” Her mother took her Dad’s hand and squeezed. “They came into town, and it was so sweet, the way he dotes on her.” She sighed.**

**“He’s a good man.” Her dad nodded. “I like him, even if he hasn’t ever played for the Wings.”**

“And there it is!” Gretchen growled.

“I think they are sweet.” Isabelle laughed out loud.

“So, um, they want to come tape at a family skate, and interview some of you guys,” Gretchen told everyone, when the show was over. “I get it if you don’t want to. I mean, Alexei and are kind of contractually obligated. And the Falcs’ legal team and Alexei’s lawyer and agent have read them the riot act. Worst comes to worst, we can let them interview us here, and at my studio, and send them on their way.”

“I think we could see our way clear to letting them tape us, but they have to let us tell them how much their bullshit hurt you guys.” Christine told her.

“Bob and I will also be willing to come down for that,” Alicia told her.

“I’ll let them know.” Gretchen told everyone. “Thank you for coming on this journey with me.” Her phone dinged.

@KVP90 @GDMake-up _I love your grandmothers!!!!_  
@GDMake-up @KVP90 _They are pretty great._  
 _When do I get to come do make up on your girl?_  
@KVP90 @GDMake-up _Tell your boy to bring you along when they come play us next._

“Ok, so I’m exhausted, and I want to be able to have Skype sex with my fiancé when he gets to his hotel room, so I’m kicking you all out.” Gretchen rubbed her face.

“When can we take Willie home?” Pearl asked, clutching the sleeping puppy to her chest.

“Because I like your mother, another two weeks,” Gretchen told her.

“Thank you for that,” Christine pulled her boots on.

“You don’t like Snowy that much, can I take Fury home now?” Jenna asked.

“Do you really want to do that alone until they get back? Gretchen asked. “I mean, it’s not every two hours anymore, but still.”

“No. Besides I’ll be back here soon enough.” She kissed Fury on the nose and carried the puppy to the guest room. Pearl followed her.

“Oh, right, who’s staying with you tonight?” Christine asked.

“I’m leaving Claire,” Gabby told her.

“Claire will be staying in the guest room with the little beasts tonight,” Gretchen set her puppy on the floor. It fell over, still sound asleep. “I envy the ability so sleep like that, so much.” Claire walked over and scooped it up, along with the other puppies she already held, and carried them all to the guest room.

“I’ll be over tomorrow night,” Bitty said. “I have Tuesday off.”

“I’m back on Tuesday night,” Jenna told them.

“Guys get back Wednesday.” Gabby was pulling on her own shoes. “Do you have your retainer, sweetie?”

“Yes, mom.” Claire exhaled loudly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am creeping up on the end of the stuff I already have written, so posting might get a little less regular for a few days. And I cannot promise that 24 is going to be the total number of chapters. I keep adding more as I think, "Oh, what about this?"


	16. An Interlude

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alexei gets home from a roadie.

“Golubka, I’m miss you!” Alexei walked in the apartment, dodging puppies. “When they get mobile?”

“While you were gone. Puppies grow fast. Hi!” She shuffled through the puppies to him. “I missed you.” Alexei kissed her. 

“Hi. We can contain puppies so I’m can get proper welcome?” He kissed her again. 

“Yeah, give me a second.” She rattled a kibble box, and the puppies stumbled after her. She poured some kibble into their bowls, then closed a baby gate across the door. “One, two three, four, five… Ok, that’s everyone.” She set the box on a table. “Hi, baby.” She walked back and slid her arms up around his neck. “I missed you.” 

“Missed you, so much. Bed?” He moaned into the kiss. “Missed holding you. Jerk off while watch you on Skype not the same.” 

“Yeah, I missed touching you, too. Let’s head into the bedroom before the puppies realize they’ve been tricked.” She took his hand. “The show’s going to be here Saturday for the Family Skate. Georgia reassures me they’ll have the lawyers on standby, and that they’ve been given very clear instructions on who they can and cannot record. We’re almost done with it, baby.” 

“Will be so good.” He dropped his bag on the floor, and pulled her in for a long, deep kiss. “Get undress, want to show you how much I’m miss you.” 

An hour later, they got dressed quickly, warm enough to walk the puppies, all five of them. 

“What you are thinking their dad was being?” Alexei watched as they bumbled along in front of him and Gretchen. “They are having very short legs.” 

“Yeah, and their bodies are pretty long, so I’m guessing maybe corgi?” She wrinkled her nose. “Also, some of them have that parti-color thing some corgis have, and they all have very pointy noses. I’m interested to see how this scales up, though, because look at those paws. They’re gonna get big.” 

“Yes, very interest in how they turn out.” Alexei bent over to scoot a puppy out of the way so it didn’t get peed on by a sibling. “They are not being very smart.” 

“They’re still babies. It’ll come.” She laughed at the horrified look on his face. “You said you wanted puppies. You wanted to keep all five.” 

“Yes, and you are pointing out I’m never deal with puppies before.” He sighed. 

“They’re actually pretty bright. They’ve mostly learned to stick to their pee-pads inside the apartment, and to ask for walkies.” She giggled, watching one suddenly launch itself at another with tiny growls and yaps. “So god damned cute.” 

“You are being so cute.” Alexei leaned in to kiss her. “I’m get to take you to Falcs’ Christmas party. Ask Christine and Gabby take you shopping.” 

“Yeah, ok.” She looked up at him. “I have an appointment to get my hair dyed back to blue tomorrow.” 

“I’m miss it. Will be good to have it back.” He chuckled, watching the pups tangle themselves together. “You know what we are forgetting?”

“What’s that?” She bent down to untangle a couple of the pups. 

“Need to get tested, so can get rid of condoms.” He smiled, watching her blush. 

“Oh, right. Yeah. And, shit, I need a doctor here anyway. I keep putting it off.” She looked up at him. “I’ll ask the others for recommendations.” 

“I’m ask doctor for test this week.” He pulled her in for a kiss. “I’m love you.” 

“I love you so much. Ok, yeah, we’re through the worst of it.” She took his hand, and they let the puppies explore the park a little more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is probably the shortest chapter, but it really didn't need anything else.


	17. Filming the Follow-Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Bachelor crew comes to film with Alexei and Gretchen, and the Falcs.

On Saturday, she and Alexei met up with everyone else at the rink. The film crew was already there, setting up under the watchful eye of the Falcs security and legal teams. Gretchen’s hair was freshly blue, a little closer to Falcs’ blue than it had been before. Alexei had lit up when he’d seen it. 

“There you are!” Chris Harrison walked up to them when they got there. “I’m sorry this all got out of hand. I really and truly am.” 

Gretchen looked around, there were no cameras on them. 

“Wait, is that a sincere apology?” Gretchen narrowed her eyes at him. 

“It is, which is why it isn’t on camera. I’ll give you the official one later.” Chris clasped his hands behind his back. “None of our previous Bachelors or Bachelorettes were already as visible as Alexei. They wanted to be, hence being on the show, but none of them actually were. We learned a lot from this.” 

“Ok, this is weird.” Gretchen looked up at Alexei, who shrugged. 

“Anyway, we’ve already taped some segments with some of the other players and their wives. I have been threatened by an 11 year old, and several teenagers, and a lot of very large men. So, um, yeah.” Chris looked a little uncomfortable. “Your friend Christine took point on who we got to talk to.” 

“Yeah, she’s like that.” Gretchen smiled. 

“We figured we’d tape some segments of you two skating together, and then maybe interview you by the ice for a bit. We do want to interview you at home, if you’re ok with that. And your studio.” Chris told them, as a PA ran up. 

Gretchen and Alexei got their skates on, and went out onto the ice, skating, holding hands. Alexei spun her in a circle. They tried to ignore the cameras, and just do what they normally did while skating. 

After skating, they and the crew headed back to their place. 

“You might want to have a camera rolling when we open the door, because puppies,” Gretchen told them, as they got to their hallway. One of the camera guys pulled out a battery operated camera, checked it and gave her the thumbs up. She opened the door, and a tiny stampede barreled at them down the short hallway to the front door. 

“Back, you heathens.” She giggled and scooped up a couple of puppies, Alexei caught the other three. 

“So where did these guys come from?” Chris asked, as they got settled with the cameras rolling. 

“Their mom got hit by a car. Randall Robinson’s youngest saw it, and called me. We rushed her to an emergency vet. She didn’t make it, but five of the six puppies did. I volunteered to bottle raise them, since I had some experience with that. The Robinsons are taking one of the pups, that mostly brown one. His name is Willie. And Dustin Snow and his girlfriend are taking that mostly white-ish one, Fury. They’ll be going home probably tomorrow.” She cuddled the pups. “And so far, we’re keeping the other three. This is Gordie, Yvonne, and Michel.” 

“All name for dead hockey players.” Alexei kissed the puppies in his arms. “Live ones would fight about it.” 

“So, where do you want us?” Gretchen asked. She set up the baby gate, and set the puppies behind it. 

“The couch is fine.” Chris looked around. “Is it ok if I sit in this chair?” He pointed. 

“Yes, is being fine.” Alexei sat and pulled Gretchen onto his lap. 

“So, how are you guys?” Chris asked. 

“We’re good.” Gretchen had an arm around Alexei’s neck. “It got real rough there for awhile, but we’re good.” 

“Yeah, we heard about it from all of your friends. I want to apologize for our part in how hard it got. We didn’t have enough safeguards in place.” Chris looked somewhat abashed. 

“It was being very hard. Almost call off all of this, because of what happen.” Alexei scowled. 

“I know.” Chris took a deep breath. “We are very sorry for our part in all the stress.” 

“We almost didn’t survive it. It, honestly, felt like living under siege for awhile.” Gretchen’s arm tightened around Alexei. “Everywhere I went people were talking about our relationship without knowing I was involved. Contestants started showing up at games, trying to get into Alexei’s hotel room, and it culminated in the on-camera sexual assault in Canada.”

“We both freak out. I’m try to find out if can take rest of season off to stay with my golubka, she think about run away. It was very bad. Our friends come together to help us, support us. We owe them so much.” Alexei wrapped both arms around her. “Were both very scared, very freaked out.” 

“Again, we cannot apologize enough for what you went through.” Chris cleared his throat. “Our legal team is in talks with your legal team, and the Falconers’ and NHL legal teams to make amends.” 

“We did make it.” Gretchen looked at Alexei. “We love each other very much, probably even more than before.” 

“Been through worst, survive. Now can focus on make everything better.” Alexei reached up to stroke her cheek. “Even better with puppies.” 

“Yes, the puppies.” Gretchen laughed. 

“You haven’t met Alexei’s mom yet, have you?”Chris asked. 

“Not yet. Schedules haven’t aligned for them to come here.” Gretchen took a deep breath. “Christine assures me she isn’t as scary as Alexei said.” 

“You don’t look reassured.” Chris laughed. 

“It’s weird, how we met, and I wouldn’t blame her if she distrusted the whole process.” Gretchen shrugged. 

“She will be seeing how much I’m love you, and how much you are loving me. Will being fine.” Alexei kissed her. “If not, she is living in Russia, we are here.” 

“Have you picked a date yet?” Chris asked. 

“Mmm, not yet. Probably after the season. We’re still negotiating about the wedding. I’m not a fan of huge weddings, and I have apparently fallen in love with someone who always wanted to be a June Bride.” Gretchen sighed. “He wants to get married at one of the Disneys.” 

“Not having to be big, just, magical.” Alexei grinned up at her. “Want to see you dress like Cinderella, or Tiana.” 

“Nice save, Mashkov.” She leaned in to kiss him. “So, we’re still in talks over what our wedding is going to entail. I already know it’s going to be bigger than I would ideally like, because of the Falconers, they’re Alexei’s family. I would never tell him he couldn’t have anyone he wanted to have there.” 

“Have to make sure Grandma Gretchen and Nana Daisy are there.” Alexei chuckled. “I’m love them so much.” 

“And they love you.” Gretchen patted his head. 

“I’m so fucking glad this is over.” Gretchen closed the door behind them, when they got back after taping at her studio. 

“You and me both.” Alexei pulled her close. “Maybe see if Christine can take puppies next weekend, take you to nice hotel. Spoil you so much.” 

“I love you, baby.” She kissed him. “Speaking of puppies. We should walk them.”


	18. Shopping and Playtime

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gretchen goes shopping with Christine and Gabby, and then comes back to an appreciative Alexei. 
> 
> Gets a little explicit toward the end. CW: light bondage

Monday, Gabby and Christine took Gretchen shopping for a gown for the Falcs’ Christmas Party, which was also a charitable event. 

“People are going to want to talk to you two, because of the show.” Christine made a face. “Five bucks says most of what I told them does not make it into the show.” 

“I don’t know, they do love drama.” Gretchen giggled, as they looked through the racks of gowns at their third store of the day. “Ok, why does everyone assume chubby girls want to dress like our grandmas?” 

“Did you have something in mind?” The salesgirl stepped forward. “I’m Sarah.” 

“Yeah, I did some online browsing.” Gretchen pulled up her phone to show her a long-sleeved black gown with a deep v-neck and a high thigh-slit in a long flowing skirt. “Something like this, maybe with a glittery gold belt. Only I know there’s no way we can get this in time. Thanks, stupid network television.” 

“Wait, you are Gretchen!” The girl gasped. “You and Tater are so cute!!!! Oh my god! I cried so hard when you were doing his make-up that last time! Yes, we can totally express this or something very similar! Let me get your measurements. And we can totally find you a belt.” 

“You’ll need shoes,” Christine told Gretchen, who looked stunned. Christine laughed. 

“Sadly, we don’t do shoes, but we can recommend a place.” The girl led Gretchen to the dressing room. “I’m sorry we don’t have a wider selection. We don’t really know what to order.” 

“I mean, I could show you a few things. But that’s just what I like,” Gretchen shrugged. 

“Are you comfortable stripping down to your underthings?” The girl pulled out a tape measure. 

“Yes.” Gretchen pulled off her sweater and toed off her shoes to wriggle out of her jeans. 

“You’re wearing Friday the 13th underwear?” Christine asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Yes. And?” Gretchen raised one right back. “Should I have worn the Halloween or Texas Chainsaw Massacre panties instead?”

“We’re taking you lingerie shopping.” Christine folded her arms over her chest. 

“I have nice underwear, I just didn’t think to wear it today.” Gretchen stepped up on the little stool, and let Sarah take her measurements. “Trust me, now that we can be out in public together, Alexei is making up for lost time.” 

“Are you guys really that cute in real life?” Sarah asked. 

“Oh, Lord, yes.” Christine rolled her eyes while Gabby snickered. “Nauseating.”

“Ok, I have your measurements. I’ll put a rush on this, and we should be able to get you in for a fitting this coming weekend. Is that soon enough?” Sarah looked up from the tablet she was entering information on. 

“We have a week and a half before the gala, so yes.” Christine answered. 

“Oh good!” The girl exhaled. 

“Tater gave me strict instructions not to let you look at price.” Christine pulled out a credit card. “He is going to the jewelry store after I tell him what will go with your dress. And I think I have an idea.” She pulled out her phone to start texting. “Can you measure her neck?”

“Sure, if you’re ok with it?” The Salesgirl held up the tape measure again. 

“Yeah, go ahead.” Gretchen gathered up her hair, and the girl measured. 

“Ok, 17 inches.” 

“Perfect, thank you.” Christine texted. “And in return I got a million heart and puppy emojis.” 

“Yeah, he’s home with them right now. It’s our dry run for being responsible for puppies on his own.” Gretchen started pulling on her clothes again. 

“You guys have puppies?!” Sarah squealed. “What kind?”

“They’re mutts we’ve been bottle-raising as a team wives and kids project. Their mom got hit by a car.” Gretchen pulled her shirt over her head. “We’ve been keeping them at me and Alexei’s place since I haven’t been able to have a job and we have a guest room.” 

“Do you have pictures?” The girl bounced up and down. 

“I do.” Gretchen pulled her phone out of her bag, still standing there pants less. “How dead from cute do you want to be?”

“Wreck me!” The girl’s eyes opened wide, when Gretchen showed her a picture of a shirtless Alexei sleeping covered with sleeping puppies. “Oh my god!!!!! Holy fuck! Ooops!” She covered her mouth with her hand. “Sorry.” 

“It’s ok, I still have the same reaction to him all the time.” Gretchen giggled, and put her phone in her bag, and pulled her jeans back on, and then slipped her feet into her shoes. 

“That is so cute and sexy!” She grinned. “Ok, I’ll go with Mrs. Robinson to ring this up, while you finish getting your things together.” 

“You are being home!” Alexei greeted her from the couch. The three remaining puppies raced toward her. 

“I am.” She walked in, carrying several bags. “Hi, babies!” 

“I’m see lingerie store bags?” Alexei stood up, wearing track pants and a t-shirt. 

“You do. Christine was horrified by my Friday the 13th underwear.” Gretchen set her bags on the table, and bent down to scoop up puppies. 

“I’m like all your underwear, because you are wearing them.” He leaned in to kiss her. “Model lingerie for me?”

“We should walk and feed these guys first.” She kissed him back. 

“Already done.” Alexei told her. “I’m think ahead.” 

“You are amazing, baby.” She set the puppies down. “Why don’t you get these guys contained while I go rinse off and we can have a lingerie fashion show in the bedroom, and maybe play after that.” 

“Ok. Yes, very yes.” Alexei nodded. He bent over to scoop up puppies while she carried her bags into the bedroom, and pulled everything out to lay out on the bed. She’d just gotten undressed when Alexei strode in, closing the door behind him. “Look so good like this, golubka.” He walked over to kiss her. “Can take shower together?” He pulled her close. 

“Ok, but you need to catch up.” She stretched up for another kiss. 

“No problem.” He stepped back, and yanked his snap-side track pants off in one motion, grinning at her. 

“You have been waiting all day to do that, haven’t you?” She started giggling. 

“Yes. Someone mention at training the other day, I’m remember I’m still have a pair.” He tossed the track pants aside, and pulled his shirt over his head. 

“I love you so much, you giant goof.” She laughed, and headed into the bathroom. “I want to wash the lingerie before I actually wear it, but I figure a quick try on won’t hurt anything.” 

“Maybe we not even get that far.” He walked in behind her, naked, and pressed up against her as she adjusted the shower. “I’m ok skip fashion show, go straight to playing.” 

“Mmm, I can be convinced.” She tilted her head back to kiss him, before stepping into the shower. 

“So, beautiful, best. I’m being luckiest.” He stepped in after her, and took the shower gel out of her hand, to wash her himself, kissing her. They washed each other with slow, languorous strokes of their soapy hands and panting, open-mouthed kisses. 

“What you are wanting today, golubka?” He turned off the water once they were done and reached for a towel. He patted her dry very carefully. 

“I was thinking I would let you have your wicked way with me.” She leaned for another kiss. 

“I’m would like that but also knowing what you are and are not wanting today so I’m not upset you, kill mood.” He kissed her. 

“Why don’t we talk through a few things?” She reached for a new towel, and started to dry him off. 

“I’m thinking use cuffs, spend time play with these.” He cupped her breasts in his hands. “What you are thinking?”

“I might need a spanking.” She looked up at him through her lashes. 

“Going to kill me.” He kissed her hard. “You want me just spank you, or you are wanting to earn it?” 

“I think I could come up with a way to earn it.” She finished drying him off. “I got my test results today, too. We’re good if you wanted to ditch the condoms. My IUD is fine for another year or so.” 

“I’m already tell you about mine, couple days ago, so yes.” Alexei pulled her in again. “Can do mean things to your nipples?”

“Mmm, fuck yes.” She shivered, and tugged him down into a deep kiss. “Can I suck your cock, baby?”

“Yes.” He took her hand and led her out of the bathroom to the bedroom. “I’m get stuff if you want to clear lingerie off bed.” 

“I can do that.” She picked up the lingerie and set it on her dresser. “I’ll deal with tags and washing it later.” 

“Ok, golubka.” Alexei pulled the small locking wooden chest they used as a toy box out from under the bed. He opened it and set it next to the bed, pulling out the cuffs, and a few other things he set on the bed next to him. “You are being ready?”

“Yes, baby.” She walked over and sat on his lap, kissing him. 

“Best, most beautiful, sexiest, best.” He smiled against her lips. “Loving you so much.” 

“Love you, too, baby.” She let him take one of her wrists and buckle the cuff around it. As usual he tested the fit, sliding his pinky beneath it. 

“Hands too talent to let anything happen to them.” He kissed her palm, and reached for the other hand. “How you are wanting them clipped together? In front or in back?”

“Up to you. Do you want them out of the way, in back, or sort of pushing everything up like this, in front.” She pushed her breasts up between her upper arms. 

“In back. I’m not wanting anything in way.” He took her hand to put the cuff around her wrist, checking the fit on that one, too. He reached around behind her to clip them together, kissing her. 

“Can I blow you, baby?” She nuzzled his neck, while he fastened the cuffs together. 

“Mmmm, can lick for now.” Alexei exhaled, and she could feel him hard against her thigh. She slid off his lap to her knees and leaned in to lick the head of his cock with quick, teasing licks. “So good, golubka.” He cupped her jaw with one hand, thumb brushing over her cheek. “Beautiful, best.” 

She licked up the length of him, and then took him in her mouth. He gently nudged her off. 

“I’m think I’m seeing how you are wanting to earn spanking.” He leaned down to kiss her. She smiled against his lips, and let him pull her across his lap.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hopefully I didn't mess this up. There were squirrels doing suicide leaps from tiny branch to tiny branch in the trees outside my window and I kept getting distracted.


	19. The Gala

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> CW: mention of past sexual assault, fatphobia
> 
> The gala, and someone from Tater's past is a jerk. (It's not his fault.)

The day of the gala, Gretchen got up early to go to the spa/salon with all the other Falconers’ SOs. Gabby had booked the whole place out for the day. 

“They do have people who can deal with our skin and hair, right?” Gretchen asked Christine when Christine picked her up.

“Yes, don’t worry.” Christine told her. “I’ve already arranged for you to have your appointments with Stacia and Morris. Try to relax and let someone else do your make-up for a change. Morris is extremely nervous about working on you. He watched the whole show. I told him you were nice.” 

“I am nice!” Gretchen snorted. 

“You are.” Christine agreed, as they turned into the parking lot. 

The spa was very nice, very fancy with heated stone tile floors, and exotic woods everywhere. 

“Is it just me or do you feel like they’re going to figure out we don’t belong here and kick us out?” Gretchen asked Jenna as they soaked prior to getting scrubs and moisturized. 

“No, I always feel like that here.” Jenna whispered back. “I usually go to this Korean spa over by my old apartment. Those ladies will scrub you in places you didn’t know needed scrubbing, and it’s very stripped down and barebones.” 

“I might need that place’s address,” Gretchen told her. 

“Will you two stop?” Christine drifted over. “You belong here.” 

“I know, it’s just weird.” Gretchen said. “Literally, money is the one thing Alexei and I ‘discuss’ constantly because he’s ok spending ridiculous amounts on a whim, and I did not grow up like that, and have been living paycheck to paycheck for years.” 

“Hey, at least you’re fighting about too much money, as opposed to not enough.” Bitty floated closer. The spa had made an exception for him for the day, although, he did wear trunks in the soaking pool with them, more for his personal comfort than theirs. 

“Ok, true.” Gretchen let her head fall back against the tiled side of the soaking pool. “It still just kind of makes me feel uncomfortable, because I cannot reciprocate. I have never had fuck you money like that. Never thought I would.” 

“Don’t you have an agent now, and aren’t you negotiating a deal with Urban Decay?” Gabby asked, floating up. “If your agent is good, you’ll have your own fuck you money before this is over.” 

“It still doesn’t feel real, you know?” Gretchen shrugged. “That’s because I worked on a lot of white girls. They really need more diversity in their product line.” She paused. “And their eyeliners are the bomb. That silver they do? And the gold? Perfection.” 

“And this is your chance to bring that diversity. Negotiate helping them design expanded foundations as part of your conditions.” Christine laughed. “I know you can negotiate, I have watched you talk Pearl and Tater out of truly ridiculous ideas.” 

“We’ll see how this goes.” Gretchen sighed. 

They spent the day at the spa, eating lunch in the little cafe, drinking fruit infused water and tea, and getting their skin, nails, and hair done. They finished up around 6, and Christine drove her back to the apartment. 

“The limo will be by to pick up you, Tater, Jack, Eric, Poots and his girl at 7. Be ready. You do not have time to play grab-ass, young lady.” Christine pulled up in front of the building. 

“Maybe text him and tell him that.” Gretchen grabbed her bag and slid out of the car. She’d convinced Morris to let her do her own lips, after a long discussion on how exactly that should go, but the rest of her make up was done, gold liner and eyeshadow, some gold and bronze to do some subtle contouring and ‘highlighting of those god-given cheekbones.’ She had her hair up, and held in place with gold colored combs, and wound through with fine gold chains. “See you at the hotel.” 

“I’m texting him right now.” Christine had her phone in her hands. “No Grab-ass. Get ready.” Her phone dinged. “He says, ‘Yes, MOM!’” She laughed. “Shoo.” 

“I’m going.” Gretchen shut the car door and ran inside. 

“Ms. Mueller.” The doorman tipped his hat as she went in. 

“Thanks, Dave.” She got in the elevator, and went up to the apartment. Bitty had left early, because he didn’t do make-up. He had let one of the girls style his hair though. 

“Golubka, why is Christine text ’No Grab-ass’ at me?” Alexei looked up from his phone when she walked in. The puppies yapped happily. Claire and Lena had been drafted to come puppy-sit. 

“Because 95% of the time when we’re late for something, it’s because we stopped to fool around first.” She walked over to kiss him. “We do need to start getting ready, we’ve only got about 40 minutes.” 

“So gross.” Lena rolled her eyes. 

“Uh huh. How are you guys doing?” Gretchen shrugged out of her coat. “Need anything before we go?”

“We’re ok.” Claire shrugged. 

She and Alexei went into the bedroom to get dressed. She started putting on the lingerie that went under the dress, while he took a quick shower. She had on a plunge corset to accommodate the deep V of the dress, and matching panties and stockings when he got out of the shower. 

“Look nice like this.” Alexei leaned in to kiss her. His phone dinged on the nightstand. He turned his head to glare at it. 

“Five bucks says it’s Christine reminding you no grab-ass because her spy out in the living room warned her you’d just gotten out of the shower.” Gretchen giggled. 

Alexei walked over to the nightstand and picked up his phone, sighed, and pulled a five out of the wallet sitting next to it to hand to her. 

“Worst!” he yelled toward the bedroom door, answered by giggles. “Teenaged girls are being worst.” 

“Uh huh.” Gretchen snickered. “Let’s do a little something with your hair, Mashkov. I need you presentable tonight.” 

“Yes, golubka.” He followed her into the bathroom. 

By 6:55, they were dressed. Gretchen had on the long black dress with the long sleeves, plunging neckline and thigh slit. It swirled as she moved. The gold layered necklace Alexei had bought her on Christine’s recommendation dripped down her cleavage. She’d put on black lipstick lined with metallic gold, and added a little more gold to her lids. Alexei looked fantastic in his tux, with a black vest with gold trim to match her. She finished the outfit with black and gold mesh gloves and black and gold clutch purse. 

“Look incredible, Golubka.” He took her hand. “Most Beautiful.” They went out into the living room. 

“Damn!” Claire and Lena sat up straight. 

“Mom was not kidding about that dress!” Claire told her. “It looks amazing!” 

“Thanks, kiddo.” She smiled, as Alexei got the shearling coat for her. 

“Will you do my make up like that for prom?” Lena asked. 

“Sure.” Gretchen let Alexei put the coat on her. He went and got his good overcoat. “Ok, so don’t feed the puppies a bunch of crap, or I’m taking them to your houses until the pooping stops.” 

“Have good night, girls.” Alexei steered her out of the apartment. 

“Hey, ya’ll!” They met Eric, Jack, and everyone else in the lobby. Poots’s girlfriend, Fay looked alternately excited and like she was going to throw up at any second. “Wow, that make up is great!” 

“Thank you! Morris did a great job!” Gretchen squeezed Alexei’s hand as the limo pulled up. 

“It should be a good time, if a little boring,” Eric said. “The food is always good. The people are sometimes challenging.” He looked at Gretchen. “Me and Jack’ll try to run interference for you guys. We know what it’s like to be the ones they all want to talk to.” 

“I’m pretty sure Christine and Gabby are also planning on sticking close,” Gretchen said. “And I appreciate it. There’s a reason I do make-up and don’t really talk to people for a living.” She paused as they got into the limo. “Also, I’m instituting a three comments about Alexei’s dick and I’m out policy.” 

“Hon, it was on national television, international television even.” Eric laughed at her. “You’re going to have to cut the people at this event a little more slack than that.” 

“I meant, per person. Because I know it’s gonna happen.” She sighed. “If I had thought for one second that A. Alexei would choose me and B. The network would leave that in, I never would have said it.” She let her head fall back. 

“Don’t mess up hair, golubka.” Alexei bumped her with his elbow. 

The limo pulled up in front of the Hotel Providence. The Falconers had booked out all three venues in the hotel, though they didn’t expect many people to be using the terrace, and a lot of the hotel for guests to stay over. Alexei had already run a bag over to their room in the hotel for later. 

They got out, and went in. There were a few photographers braving the Rhode Island winter night to get pictures of people going to the event. 

“I’m think we get as many photographers as Zimmboni and B last year,” Alexei murmured. 

“Do not remind me.” Eric grumbled. 

Inside they had the concierge service run their coats up to their room, and Alexei took her hand. 

“Ready, golubka?” Alexei brought her knuckles to his lips. “I’m loving you so much.” 

“I love you, too.” She touched his cheek. “You are worth everything, baby.” 

“Glad you are thinking so.” They followed Jack and Eric into the main ballroom. 

The evening’s schedule was for cocktails, followed by dinner, followed by more cocktails and dancing. Bob and Alicia stood with Gabby, Marty, Christine, Thirdy, Isabelle and Guy as Alexei and Gretchen entered with their group. 

“You all look amazing!” Alicia walked up for hugs and air kisses. “I love the gold on you, Gretchen!” 

“Thank you! You look incredible!” Gretchen and Alexei followed Alicia back to the cluster of players and wives. 

“The Falcs have one or two photographers in here, but they’re ours,” Gabby told her. “The local paper has someone, too, but they’re always pretty respectful.” 

“Ok.” Gretchen exhaled. “Christine’s run me through rude donor etiquette.” 

“Yeah, sadly, you’ll need that.” Marty took a hearty sip of his drink. “At least since you guys are very publicly engaged, maybe Tater’s stalker will back off this year.” 

“Oh?” She raised her eyebrows at Tater, who blushed. 

“I mentioned her briefly,” Christine leaned on the table. “Alexei, did you not come clean about that?”

“I’m maybe get kind of drunk first year on Falcs, and we hook up in bathroom.” Alexei sighed. “Not realize she is being married. Husband is finding out. Big mess. Falcs mostly cover it up. They work things out, I’m guess. Still come every year.” 

“I am not going to judge, but a little more warning than this would have been nice.” She reached up to pinch the bridge of her nose, and Christine gently pushed her hand down. 

“Make-up, sweetie.” Christine glared at Alexei. “I didn’t tell her because you said you were going to.” 

“I’m know. Being embarrass. Do dumb thing.” He took a deep breath. “I’m being sorry not warn you sooner, golubka.” 

“What he means is she poured alcohol down him until he was drunk enough to do a dumb thing.” Marty rolled his eyes. 

“So she’s a predator. Got it.” Gretchen squeezed Alexei’s hand. “I’ll cope. I cannot promise not to finish it if she starts shit.” 

“Pay money to see that.” Alexei squeezed back. “She is not taking, ’No, was one time thing,’ for answer, bug me every year. Kind of hoping press around us scare her off.” 

“Ok, just give me a heads up when she gets here, and we’ll deal. It’s ok, baby. I get it. And if you’ve said no every year since, and she still isn’t getting the message, maybe I do need to finish it.” Gretchen shrugged. 

“Alexei, if Gretchen starts taking out her earrings, call security,” Christine told him. 

“You are not funny,” Gretchen said. 

“I’m not being funny. She makes me want to slap her.” Christine sighed. 

“I’m not going get physical. Please. Mental scars last longer.” Gretchen smiled, as a waiter handed her a cocktail.

Gretchen and Alexei were chatting with a pair of donors who had loved the end of the show, and thought they were adorable together, when a voice cut through the murmur of the crowd and the unobtrusive string music.

“Alexei, darling! You look absolutely scrumptious!” 

“Let me guess…” Gretchen raised an eyebrow at Alexei, whose shoulders had visibly tightened. The people they’d been talking to excused themselves, to find a good vantage point. 

“Mrs. Broward, is being good to see you. I’m like to introduce my fiancee, Gretchen Mueller.” Alexei led with that, turning to greet the woman who walked toward them. She was a very well-preserved 50 or so, Gretchen guessed, blonde, wearing a simple pale blue gown, a silver fox fur stole, and a ludicrous amount of gemstones. A slightly younger man in a tailored tux, shorter than Alexei and still handsome, hairline just starting to recede, scurried after her. 

“Hello, it’s nice to meet you,” Gretchen kept her expression pleasant. She did not make an effort to shake hands, or let go of Alexei’s arm. 

“Darling, that horrid show is over. I’m sure you can drop the pretense.” Mrs. Broward said, with a trilling laugh. 

“Is not being pretense. Planning wedding this summer.” Alexei subtly let Gretchen interpose herself between them. 

“We are ridiculously happy.” Gretchen let her feelings for Alexei show on her face, looking up at him. “He is the literal best.” Out of the corner of her eye Gretchen could see Christine and Thirdy making their way over. 

“I see.” The woman’s expression went blank for a second, before an insincere smile slipped into place. “Your look is very bold this evening, Gretchen. Very brave.” 

“Mmm, and yours is very,” Gretchen paused meaningfully, “classic.” Just behind her, she head a stifled snort. Behind Mrs. Broward the husband she hadn’t bothered to introduce covered up a smile with a subtle nose scratch. A moment later, Gabby slipped between them. 

“Sylvia, it is so good to see you!” She offered a hand, and Alexei tugged Gretchen away. 

“Ok, I see where Christine was coming from.” Gretchen took a deep breath. “You ok, baby?” 

“I’m being fine. Are you being ok?” Alexei asked, hand on her waist. 

“Please, I’ve worked in LA, way better people have said way worse things to me.” She reached up to touch his cheek. “I love you. It’s fine.” 

“I’m love you, golubka. Just wishing she is getting message.” Alexei sighed. 

“We all have those in our pasts. It’s ok.” She squeezed his hand. “I got this.” 

A little while later, they pulled the players away for some photos, and Mrs. Broward sidled up to her. Christine stayed close. 

“I don’t know why you think this is going to work,” she started. “You and Alexei…”

“Mmmm, I get why you might think that.” Gretchen hummed noncommittally, watching across the way as they lined the players up. “I mean, after so many failed attempts yourself, I’m sure it seems impossible.” She glanced over at Mrs. Broward. “But I have an idea, why don’t you actually say what you mean instead of relying on ‘nice white lady’ double-talk?” Next to her Christine opened her mouth and Gretchen waved her off. 

“Do I really have to? I mean, look at you, and look at us.” She waved an arm to include herself in the group of players wives and girlfriends, her voice carrying over the music. “You’re a draft horse among thoroughbreds.” 

“Sylvia,” Gabby kept her voice low. 

“You’ve spent all evening clinging pathetically to Alexei while the rest of them socialize with me, what do you think they think of having to include you?” Mrs. Broward went on. 

“Wow.” Gretchen stared at her, expression blank. “What is it like going through life that oblivious? I want to know, because damn.” She shook her head. “Mean and dumb, that is a combination.” 

“We’ve been running interference, you entitled cow.” Isabelle snapped at her. “Even the ones who suck up to you because of your money don’t like you. You spend this event feeling up our husbands, all of them, every year, terrorizing Tater and any rookie who crosses your path, and you think we like you?”

Across the way, Alexei craned his neck, trying to figure out what was going on. He leaned over to talk to Marty and Thirdy. 

“I wasn’t ‘clinging’ to Alexei to protect me, I was doing it to protect him, because you will not take no for an answer.” Gretchen drew herself up. 

“You plied him with alcohol until he was drunk enough to give you what you wanted, and then you let it blow up into a thing, and you have the gall to keep going at him,” Christine hissed. 

“I donate millions to this organization, I own…” Mrs. Broward started. 

“Now, I know you are not about to tell two Black women that you own anybody.” Gretchen’s eyes narrowed, and she let her voice grow a little louder. 

“Sylvia, I think it’s time,” her husband started, reaching for her arm. 

“I make the decisions in this relationship,” she snapped, yanking her arm away. “And I am not about to run away because this girl thinks…”

“Oh, no, she didn’t!” Jenna whispered behind Gretchen. 

“Let your husband collect you before you go showing everyone your entire ass,” Gretchen said, folding her arms over her chest. 

“I will not! You listen here.” Mrs. Broward leaned in, pointing at Gretchen, as an older gentleman in a suit walked up with an envelope in his hand. 

“Mrs. Broward, you and your money, are no longer welcome at Falconer events.” He held out the envelope. When she refused to take it, he handed it to her husband. Two large gentlemen in black suits stood behind the older man. “Your coats are ready in the lobby, your car has been called, these gentlemen will escort you out.” 

“Sylvia, don’t make a scene.” Gabby shook her head sadly. “You’re not a child, and it’s not cute.” 

Mrs. Broward spun and stalked out. 

“I really am sorry about this.” Her husband gave Gretchen an apologetic smile, and followed his wife. Security followed them both. 

“Should have happened years ago.” Christine’s upper lip curled. 

“We apologize, Ms. Mueller.” The older gentleman said. “I’m Carl Andross, one of the owners. And Mrs. Robinson is right. This should have happened years ago. Unfortunately, my business partner has a soft spot for her late father, so this went on far longer than it ever should have been allowed.” 

“Thank you for your apology.” Gretchen took a deep breath, as Alexei and the rest of the guys walked up. 

“Golubka, you are being ok?” Alexei slid an arm around her. 

“I’m fine, baby. It’s ok.” She leaned into him. “And thank you, Isabelle for the truth bomb back there.” 

“I hate her.” Isabelle shrugged. “I have always hate her.” 

“I’m being sorry, Golubka.” Alexei held her tight. 

“Baby, it is not your fault she is awful.” Gretchen patted his cheek. “I hate that I’m wearing lipstick, because I can’t kiss you right now. And if what Marty said was what happened, then she sexually assaulted you back then. Getting someone drunk until their no becomes a yes is gross, no matter how the genders play out. You know that, right?”

“I’m do, just, I’m being man.” He hugged her tighter. 

“Doesn’t matter.” Gretchen hugged him around his waist. “I love you, and she is lucky I actually am a lady, or I might have punched her expensive and obviously capped teeth down her throat.” 

“I thought you were being way too calm.” Christine hugged the both of them. 

“Oh no, inside I was picturing her on fire. Hence the smile.” Gretchen stepped back. “We’re fine, we’re ok, baby. I promise.” 

“You might want to talk to Robert about the fact that she started to say she owned Alexei because of all the money she donates,” Christine told Carl. 

“I _would_ have punched her if she had continued that sentence.” Gretchen exhaled. 

“I will be explaining to Robert what happened, and that I will not allow that woman into any more of our events. If I have my way, she won’t be at any games, either.” He sniffed. “And I’m sorry I had not taken the time to meet you earlier, Ms. Mueller. My partner and I have greatly enjoyed watching this season of the Bachelor, you were a breath of fresh air. And you and Alexei are perfection together.” 

“Thank you, Mr. Landross.” Gretchen let go of Alexei long enough to shake his hand. “I appreciate that.” She let Alexei pull her close again. “We can leave early if you want, baby.”

“Still have things to do. If you are being fine, I’m being fine.” He kissed her cheek. “I’m love you so much, golubka.” 

“I love you, and if she ever so much as looks at you crossways.” Gretchen shook her head, exhaling loudly. “It’s ok, I’m good. I love you. I’m sorry she ever got her hands on you, baby.” 

“So fierce, golubka. I’m know you are having my back. I’m have yours.” He kissed her forehead. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A couple of notes: I ran this by a friend because I thought the "villain" character here might be a little over the top. She assured me she also knew people like this. 
> 
> Anyone getting anyone drunk to change their no to a yes is sexual assault, regardless of how the genders play out. I have known many dudes who struggle with this, because they've been the victim of this sort of sexual assault and it's difficult when they live in a society that tells them that that isn't rape, it's just "unfortunate" sex. It's rape. And it can seriously fuck dudes up. Do not get people drunk to fuck them.


	20. Christmas Miracles

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The follow up episode of the Bachelor airs Christmas Eve. A few folks come over, and some surprise guests.

The episode/special with the interviews with Gretchen & Alexei, the Falcs and some of the contestants aired on Christmas Eve. Jack and Eric were in Montreal with Bob and Alicia, and assured them they would be watching. Marty, Gabby and the kids were at his parents’ in northern Quebec. Christine and Thirdy were in town, and brought Willie over to visit his siblings. Jenna and Snowy were over, with Fury. Poots’s girlfriend had gone home for the holiday, so he came over. Dex and Nursey were in town, house-sitting for Jack and Eric. 

“I’m not Bitty, but I did bake some pies.” Dex carried in two pies, and Nursey had another. 

“Golubka make some cookies,” Alexei told them. “Let me decorate a couple. And make red velvet cupcakes.” 

“No cupcakes for puppies. Those have enough actual cocoa to hurt them.” Gretchen came out of the bedroom wearing leggings and a flannel shirt. 

“Noted.” Snowy looked up from his cupcake. “None for you, Hoover.” He pointed at Fury. 

“Most beautiful.” Alexei caught her for a kiss. “Loving you so much.” 

“I love you, too. I also have stuff in the oven I need to deal with.” She pulled away.

“Here, put me to work. I don’t mind.” Dex followed her into the kitchen. 

“Cool. Um, the artichoke dip can go out, that’s in the oven keeping warm. There are veggie trays in the fridge, and some more dips. If you wanted to help arrange cheese plates, that would be great. I got a little distracted after the cupcakes.” Gretchen blushed, and Dex snickered. “Yeah, it probably went down exactly like you think.” 

“I’m guessing illegal use of frosting?” Dex put on an oven mitt and pulled the bread bowl of artichoke dip out of the oven. “Oh, this looks amazing! Smells good, too.” 

“I’m from the Midwest. If there is one thing I can do, it’s feed people.” Gretchen started pulling veggie trays out of the fridge. “I also told a few other folks that if they didn’t have family stuff they could come on over. Who knows if they’ll take me up on it.” 

In the middle of the chaos, the intercom buzzed. 

“I’m get it!” Alexei waded through puppies and kids to answer, picking up the receiver. “Oh, yes. Sure. If you get chance to take break, come on up. Have so much food. Merry Christmas, Dave.” 

A few minutes later, someone tapped on the door and Alexei went to open it. Gretchen had just put the last cheese tray out, and bowl of dog treats for the puppies. 

“Where is my fabulous bitch?” A tall, slender Black man wearing full make up walked in, carrying a backpack and a small sherpa carrier. 

“Dom!” Gretchen launched herself at him. “Oh my god! What are you doing here?!”

“Since my Grandmere died, no one even pretends I should come home for the holidays, so I figured why not come see my favorite person in the whole world!” Dom hugged her tight. “Alexei texted me, and said he thought it would be a nice surprise. I hope it’s ok that I brought Perignon. Our regular dog sitter sprained her ankle.” 

“Get his number off your phone. Hope is being ok.” Alexei smiled at her. 

“Yes, you big dork!” Gretchen hugged him. “I love you so much! And of course it’s fine you brought Perignon! I hope she’s ok with these ruffians.” She pointed down at the crowd of puppies. “Only three live here, the other two are visiting tonight.” She turned. “Everyone, this is Dom! Dom, I’ll take you around. Do you want to put your stuff in the guest room? It is where the puppies sleep, but it’s the best we’ve got.” 

“OK, I’ll let Perignon rest in there. Doggie Xanax. She’s still out.” Dom smiled and hugged Gretchen again. “I missed you, Boo-bear!” 

“I missed you, too!” She hugged him back. “You met Alexei.” 

“Yes, I knew he was a tall drink of water, but damn!” Dom hip bumped her. “Lucky bitch. I saw the pictures from the benefit gala, you two looked amazing together. Who did your make-up?” 

“Morris, he’s at this spa that Gabby and Christine took us all too. I do have his number, I could text him.” She nudged Dom back. 

“Were the lips his idea?” Dom asked. 

“Yes.” Gretchen pulled out her phone. 

“Then, yes. That was gorgeous. You were going to Padme Amidala that shit, weren’t you?” Dom wrinkled his nose. 

“Shut up, you don’t know me.” She scowled at her phone as she texted. 

“I do know you.” He kissed her cheek. “Let’s get Perignon settled and I’ll meet everyone.” 

An hour before the show started, someone knocked on the door. 

“Shit, I hope we aren’t being too loud.” Gretchen leapt up and ran to the door. She opened it to find Kent Parson and Blaise Diamante standing there. 

“Uh, hey, I hope this is ok. We thought we’d drop by.” Kent said when Blaise nudged him. 

“Yeah, yeah, come in.” Gretchen held the door open. “Watch out for dogs. The five puppies and Dom’s Pomeranian are running around.” 

“Dom’s here?” Blaise smiled, and nudged Kent forward. 

“Sweetheart, no one’s going to eat you,” Gretchen told him. “They’re adults. Mostly. And I’ll handle Alexei.”

Kent laughed out loud. 

“Thanks, it’s, uh, just been sort of a shit day. And I blackmailed your address out of Snow. I was hoping that’d be all right.” Kent shrugged out of his coat, as Gretchen shut the door ahead of a mob of dogs. 

“Yeah, of course. It’s so nice to meet you two.” Gretchen hung up their coats, and led them into the living room. “Hey, Kent and Blaise showed up for puppy therapy!” 

Thirdy gave Snowy a hard look, before standing up. 

“Good to see you, Parse.” He walked over to shake hands, as Alexei struggled to get out from under a pile of Pearl and Lena, who had tackled him to the floor earlier. Nathaniel froze on the floor next to Poots. 

“Good to see you, too, Third. Uh, if Swoops knew I was here, he’d say hi.” Kent smiled, and shook his hand. “This is Blaise, my girlfriend.” 

“Hi, Blaise.” Thirdy shook her hand. 

“It’s nice to meet you.” Blaise smiled. “You guys are having a great season!” 

“Thanks!” Thirdy nodded. “This is my wife Christine and my daughters Lena and Pearl were the ones who had Tater pinned to the floor so the puppies could lick his face. And my son Nathaniel’s over there by Poots.” Nathaniel waved, eyes wide.

“Nice to meet you both.” Christine waved from her seat. “I’d get up, but if I do, I will likely lose my chair.” 

“Parson,” Alexei walked up, holding a puppy. 

“Mashkov.” Kent met his eyes. 

“Boys…” Gretchen and Blaise said together. 

“You say you are need puppy therapy. Here, Michel is being mellow.” He held up the puppy, who yawned.

“Thanks, Mashkov.” Kent took the puppy and cradled him against his chest. Dom, who’d been talking to Jenna made a strangled squeaking noise. Kent blushed. 

“Hey, Dom! Long time no see!” Blaise picked her way across the room to hug him. 

“Your hair is amazing!” Lena said, looking up. 

“Thanks! I learned how to do the upkeep myself ages ago when I was poor. Now I just go in to get it trimmed, and maybe change up the highlights.” Blaise sank down to sit cross-legged next to Dom and Jenna on the floor. “Hey Dustin, Jenna. How are you guys?”

“Do you guys want anything to eat or drink?” Gretchen asked, after hugging Alexei. “We’ve got boozy and non-boozy hot chocolate, eggnog, spiced cider, and snacks. Please eat snacks. I made way too much food. And Dex brought pies.” 

“No cupcakes for puppies, though,” Pearl told Blaise. “There’s real cocoa in them.” 

“Noted.” Blaise nodded, and got up. “Save my space,” she told Dom. Perignon, on Dom’s lap, yapped, and Blaise patted her head. “I’ll be back, Princess.” 

“Yeah, we didn’t exactly get to stay for dinner.” Kent took a deep breath. “My step-dad is a dick, and since I’m an adult now, mom thinks I should just shut up and deal.” 

“Depending on what he was a dick about, that’s fucked,” Gretchen told him. “If you want, my mom will totally adopt you. The downside is you’ll have to listen to my dad give you a hard time about not playing for the Wings.” 

“He was being a dick about Blaise.” Kent frowned. “In front of her. To which my mom added a chorus of, ‘I’m not wild about the fact that my husband has seen your girlfriend naked, Kent.’”

“Oh, honey, no.” Gretchen hugged him. “That is some bullshit.”

“They suck.” Blaise walked up. 

“Is being ok. Now Gretchen adopt him.” Alexei nudged her. “I’m know how you are. How we wind up with three dogs.” 

“Who wanted to keep all five?” Gretchen asked. “Excuse me?”

“So, yeah, we figured since we were on this coast, we’d see if you were here.” Kent laughed. “Why aren’t you home?” 

“Do you have any idea how busy the holidays are for funeral homes and morticians?” Gretchen asked. “My folks do Christmas two weeks into January.” 

“Oh. Yeah, wow.” Blaise blinked. “I didn’t think about it.” 

“Most people don’t.” Gretchen shrugged. “It was a little weird for me as a kid, but my grandparents would take me and I’d do Christmas over there, so I could report back when school started, and didn’t sound too weird. And a lot of people were jealous of ‘second Christmas’ in January.” 

“That must have been so weird, growing up in a funeral home.” Blaise had an arm around Kent, resting her head on his shoulder, while he cuddled the puppy. 

“I didn’t know any different.” Gretchen sighed. “On more than one occasion Dad or Mom answered the door in the PPE we wore for embalming when I had a date. Because they are assholes.” 

“I’m get off light.” Alexei chuckled. “Dad did take me on tour of “work area” while we are being there. Did not open any freezers though.” 

“That is because I reminded him who is going to be choosing his nursing home when he’s old and senile,” Gretchen growled. 

“They did not take any of your dates down there, did they?” Blaise giggled. 

“Only the ones they hated.” Gretchen told them. “So, who wants hot chocolate?”

The show opened up with Gretchen and Alexei skating at the family skate, holding hands. 

“So fucking gross!” Kent said, still cuddling Michel. 

“Children! Well, Child. Well, Pearl, never mind. She’s heard it.” Gretchen waved a hand. 

“You are getting drunk.” Alexei pulled her closer, snuggling her. 

“Maybe a little.” She let him kiss her. “Love you.” 

“Ugh, even worse in person!” Kent groaned. 

“Shut up, Parson.” Blaise poked him. “It’s adorable.” 

**Christine came on the screen, looking very stern. Everyone cheered.** ****

**“These kids have something very special and you nearly tanked that with your nonsense,” Christine told Chris Harrison. “I have never seen two people more in love, and you harassed them until one of them was ready to quit professional sports and the other just wanted to run away and hide. I want you to think about that.”** ****

**“I am very sorry for that. We let things get out of hand, and we will be apologizing to Alexei and Gretchen, I promise you.” Chris took a deep breath. “We are going to be doing everything we can to make it up to them.”**

**“See that you do.” Christine glared for a moment longer. “Now that’s out of the way, did you want to ask me anything?”** ****

**“I was going to ask how you feel about their relationship, but you answered that.” Chris swallowed hard. “And I know this is not the last I’m going to hear about it. I’m ready.”** ****

**“Randall and I took Alexei in when he first got to the US, as a scared and excited 18 year old who didn’t really speak any English.” Christine’s face softened when she talked about Alexei, and pictures of 18 year old Alexei flashed on the screen. “They usually ask someone on the team to take care of the young ones. He was supposed to stay on the farm team for a bit, but one of the Rangers’ defensemen broke his collarbone that year, and they bumped him up about a quarter of the way through the season.” More pictures of Alexei in his brand new Rangers jersey. Video of him doing Pearl’s hair when she was younger. “Our then 3 year old bossed him around something fierce, and he learned how to do hair to make her happy. We really feel like he’s our oldest child.”** ****

**“Do you think his mother will like Gretchen? He told a few stories from when he was younger that have her a little nervous, I know.” Chris leaned forward.** ****

**“I’ve talked to her on the phone about Gretchen. Alexei’s younger brother is a competitive figure skater, so the schedules have not worked out yet. I think it’ll be ok. I’ve told her about Gretchen, and about how utterly nauseating they are.” Christine laughed. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen him this into anybody. Even when he was younger, he was never really super romantic with them. But I’m pretty sure he’d buy out a florist a day if that was what she wanted.”**

“You could have told me you talked to his mom!” Gretchen yelled. 

“I told you not to worry, that it would be fine.” Christine sniffed. 

**Then Pearl walked up and sat next to Christine. She glared at Chris, who visibly squirmed.** ****

**“You made my Uncle Tater very upset and scared, and Gretchen. I want to know what you intend to do to make up for that.” She folded her arms over her chest looking very like a mini-Christine.** ****

Gretchen stifled a giggle. 

**“Well, we are going to apologize, and pay for their wedding. Also, there are a few other things the lawyers are hammering out.” Chris told her. “I can’t talk about those yet.”** ****

**“I understand.” Pearl scrutinized him for another long minute.** ****

“Oh, Zach was loving this.” Gretchen snickered. “He is not Harrison’s biggest fan.” ****

**“I have to forgive you because it’s the right thing to do, and you are how Uncle Tater found Gretchen,” Pearl said at long last. “But not yet. I’m still mad.”** ****

**“I accept and understand that,” Chris said slowly.** ****

**“Good.” Pearl nodded once. And they went to commercial break.**

“Pearl!” Gretchen leaned over and pulled the 11 year old into a hug. “You’re amazing!” 

“The camera guy gave me a high-five.” Pearl twisted around to hug Gretchen back. 

“He would.” Gretchen let her go so they could settle down, and/or get bathroom runs out of the way before the show started up again. 

The played a clip of her and Alexei playing with the puppies at home, and more interviews with various Falconers and their wives and girlfriends. Pretty much all of them opened with some sort of scolding and thinly veiled threat, and then devolved into gushing about Alexei and Gretchen. 

When Bad Bob and Alicia’s came up the screen said, “Hockey Legend Bad Bob Zimmerman and Alicia Zimmerman.” 

“Five bucks says Marty put them up to that,” Snowy called out. 

“That is a sucker bet,” Thirdy replied. “Plus I was there, he totally did.” 

**“We’d met Alexei before, he was very supportive of Jack his first year on the Falcones and continues to be a great friend to he and Eric,” Alicia said.** ****

**“But we hadn’t met Gretchen until the night of the assault in Montreal. Christine Robinson brought her up, and she and Tater were both just wrecked. He didn’t even let her get out of the car before he dropped to his knees in the snow to reach in and hug and reassure her.” Bob fixed Chris Harrison with a hard look. “He picked her up and carried her inside, and we let them talk it out. I had already talked to several NHL commissioners, they had approved Tater being on this show.”**

“Man, Bob can look scary when he wants to,” Gretchen huddled closer to Alexei. 

“He is being Bad Bob,” Alexei kissed the top of her head. 

**The show interviewed Mandi and a couple of the other girls.** ****

**“He was always really sweet about sending any of us home. You could tell he didn’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings. He was really sweet,” Elyse told Chris. “But you could tell, Gretchen was the only one he ever really connected with. Maybe Mandi.”** ****

**“We knew the only reason Gina got to stay was because the producers talked him into it,” Jessica told Chris. “And I kind of get it, because Alexei wasn’t really going to stir any drama up.”** ****

**“I think the only thing that really bugged people was that you could tell almost from the beginning that he was gone on Gretchen,” Tricia shrugged. “I mean, a couple of girls got nasty about her body shape and size, those girls he didn’t have any trouble sending home. Probably the most angry any of us ever saw him.”** ****

**“I knew watching the two of them together,” Mandi said, smiling. Her hair was short now, and she wore more dramatic make-up, and darker clothes with crisper lines. “And he and I got along really well, mostly because I got along really well with Gretchen, too. Once some of the other girls figured that out, they tried to suck up to her. But Gretchen’s good at reading people.” Mandi laughed. “If he hadn’t admitted it to me at the Final Rose ceremony, I would have told him he couldn’t choose me because he so obviously loved Gretchen.”** ****

**“I know we’re supposed to focus on Alexei and Gretchen, but the look is new. What’s going on here?” Chris asked.** ****

**“Talking to Gretchen, I realized that I couldn’t expect to find anyone who loved me unless I knew who I was,” Mandi told him. “Gretchen knows exactly who she is, and even when you guys started filming her, she didn’t change how she did her make-up or dressed. Alexei fell in love with her, not who he thought she was. So, I took a little time and started doing things because I liked them or wanted to, not because I thought it was what other people would like. And it’s been kind of great.”** ****

**“Have you been in contact with Gretchen and Alexei?” Chris asked.** ****

**“Oh yes, we’ve been emailing and texting. I was planning on visiting once all this is over.” Mandi shrugged. “I know I’m still being considered for the next Bachelorette, so I thought I would talk to them about what really matters.”**

“That is so sweet!” Blaise sighed. “She really seems nice.” 

“Someone has a crush,” Kent chuckled, still cuddling Michel, who snored softly. “Puppy snores are ridiculous.” 

**The interview done with Alexei and Gretchen at their apartment aired after a commercial break, and then they went to her studio.** ****

**“Ok, wow! You’re really good!” Chris Harrison walked around looking at the various sketches and paintings hung on the walls or leaning against them. Many of the pieces were of Alexei, but a few other Falcs and their families featured as well, including a painting of Christine in white, looking like a goddess of some sort. Other faces in mythologic situations. There was a Pygmalion and Galatea, genders reversed, with Jenna chipping Snowy out of a block of ice.**

“I’m still love that one.” Alexei nudged her on the couch, and she giggled. 

“Yes, we all know Jenna turned me into a real boy,” Snowy sighed. “You should have painted her like the Blue Fairy in Pinocchio.” 

“Why do you think her toga’s blue?” Gretchen snorted.

Kent laughed loud, disturbing Michel who whimpered, and Kent immediately quieted again. 

**“It’s a little chilly in here,” Chris said, peering at a portrait of Isabelle wrapped in fur, sitting in a big chair, holding a glass of wine.** ****

**“Yeah, no more life modeling sessions until it warms up.” Gretchen let Alexei wrap his arms around her.** ****

**“I’m try to talk Golubka into talk to gallery, she is being very good.” Alexei kissed her cheek. “Know that first time she draw me. Sketch me on futon while unpacking. Can see how she feel about me in every line.”** ****

**“Baby.” Gretchen turned and kissed him.**

“This!” Kent said. “I cannot believe the same mother fucker who picked me up with one arm yelling obscenities at me in Russian is the same person who says shit like that!” Kent gestured at the screen. 

“Gretchen’s never cheap shotted our goalie,” Poots pointed out. 

“Rude!” Kent sniffed. 

“Isn’t that your dresser?” Dom asked Gretchen, pointing at the milk crates in the studio. 

“Someone felt they didn’t match the esthetic here,” Gretchen told him. 

“No, someone not feel like should be live like college student.” Alexei tickled her. “Buy her actual dresser match one I’m already have.” 

“Horrible! Worst!” She giggled and squirmed. 

After the show ended, people started filtering out. Dom scooped up a sleepy Perignon, who had spent the evening on his lap growling and barking at puppies who got too close. Willie, Gordy, and Yvonne had made a game of it. 

“I’m going to take her majesty walkies before we turn in.” He kissed Blaise and Gretchen on the cheeks. “Good to see you again, Blaise, Kent.” 

“What? We are no getting kisses?” Alexei pouted. Dom rolled his eyes and kissed Alexei’s, then Kent’s cheek, blushing under his make-up. 

“I see you, Mashkov,” Gretchen mouthed where Kent couldn’t see. From Blaise’s stifled giggle, Gretchen was pretty sure she had seen and read Gretchen’s lips. 

“You guys are needing place to stay?” Alexei asked, as Dom went to pull on his shoes and coat. Their three pups were passed out on the couch. Pearl, Lena and Alexei had walked them earlier. 

“Nah, we got a hotel, but thank you.” Kent shrugged. “Thanks for letting us crash your thing.” 

“No problem.” Gretchen hugged him, then Blaise. “I still want to do your make-up.” 

“Why don’t you come stay with us around their game in Vegas?” Blaise asked. “Like get there a day early, and leave a day late. We can do a spa day or something, and you can do my make-up for the game and sit in the Aces box with me.” 

“No one’s gonna beat me up for wearing Alexei’s jersey, are they?” Gretchen asked, sliding an arm around Alexei’s waist. 

“No, they’ll give you some crap, but they all watched the show, too.” Blaise laughed. 

“So, uh, Blaise is almost finished with her Masters,” Kent told them, hands in his pockets. “She got into MIT for her doctorate because she is awesome. She’ll be moving here next fall. And I thought it would be nice if she had some people here, you know.” 

“Aw, Kent, that’s sweet of you.” Gretchen dimpled. “Are you guys going to do long distance?”

“I know you suspect, if you don’t know,” Kent leveled a look at Gretchen. “You’re friends with Dom. Um,” he glanced at Alexei. “You’ve been super supportive of Zimms, and, uh, I’m gay.” 

“Thank you for trust me with this,” Alexei told him. “Will not say anything to anyone.” 

“Yeah, about that. I’m getting ready to come out. It’s been fantastic with Blaise, having my best friend be my live-in Beard has been wonderful. But I’d like to have a life, and it hasn’t gone as badly for Zimms as I’d feared, so maybe, maybe it’s time.”

“That’s really amazing, Kent. And brave.” Gretchen smiled. “Yeah, I knew. Alexei tried to be all oblique and just say that you had history with Jack, but yeah, I wasn’t surprised.”

“So, you knew and never said anything?” Kent frowned up at Alexei. “Uh, thank you for that. I guess you aren’t such a bad guy after all.” 

“Just doing job, not asshole,” Alexei told him, an arm around Gretchen’s shoulders. 

“Well, if you hadn’t cheap-shotted Dustin.” Blaise elbowed him. 

“Oh my God! It wasn’t intentional, it just wasn’t entirely not-intentional.” Kent groaned. “I’ve already apologized, a lot. A $700 bar tab a lot.” 

“$700? What were you drinking?” Gretchen asked. 

“Really good bourbon,” Kent told her. “And Jenna had a few friends with her. It wasn’t just us.” 

“Ok, that makes more sense, I think.” Gretchen leaned into Alexei. “When are you going to do it?”

“I don’t know yet, but I have a few ideas.” Kent shrugged. 

“It’s gonna be extra as fuck, isn’t it?” Gretchen asked. 

“It’s like you’ve met him,” Blaise giggled. 

“Hush, you!” Kent poked her in the ribs. “Anyway, we should get to our hotel. Can we buy you breakfast in the morning, or come here for breakfast, because I have no idea if anything is going to be open? I’m used to Vegas, where nothing closes for holidays. I have no basis for reality anymore.” 

“Yeah, come on over. Me and Dex and making breakfast for anyone who wants it.” Gretchen laughed. 

“Oh, just so you don’t have to feel like you’re betraying anyone. Me and Jack are trying to be friends.” Kent sighed. “Suddenly being an ‘adult’ at 17 does some shit to your emotional development, so we’re working on it. And uh, I have a great therapist.” 

“That’s good!” Gretchen let go of Alexei to hug Kent again. 

“All right, I want in on that action.” Blaise elbowed Kent out of the way, and winked at Alexei. “Your fiancee gives good hugs.” 

“Yes, is being best!” Alexei grinned. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Taking the day off from the day job, and hopefully finishing the first draft of this over the weekend. 
> 
> We'll see how long it gets.


	21. Meeting the Parents

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alexei's family flies in for New Year's.

“When are they getting here?” Gretchen fidgeted with her necklace, a large pearl pendant on a fine gold chain. Pearl had helped Alexei pick it out for her Christmas present, and the matching earrings. They still hadn’t picked an engagement ring yet. 

“Flight landed 40 minute ago. Have to clear customs, get bags, take shuttle to hotel, then cab here.” Alexei pulled her into his arms. The three puppies danced around their feet, wearing red velvet bows on their collars. They hadn’t managed to pull them off yet. “Relax, they are going to be loving you as much as I’m love you.” He pressed kisses to her cheeks and forehead. “We are being ok, golubka.” 

“Ok, baby. Ok. I know. I just, I’m trying not to freak out here.” She lifted her face for a kiss. “I love you.” 

“Not doing best job of not freaking out, golubka.” He smiled, and kissed her again. “Is being fine. I’m love you no matter what. Have not live at home, over 8 years now. But I’m knowing she will be liking you. And Papa. Ivan and Sveta already tell me you are being too pretty for me.” 

“Not again.” Gretchen groaned. “I will not be party to that. You are more than pretty enough for me, baby.” She laughed, and pulled him in for another kiss. 

“Glad you are think so.” He held her for a few more minutes. “Now, anything else need dust, wash, hide in closet?”

“Very funny, Mashkov.” She rested her forehead against his chest. “Jerk.” 

Almost half an hour later, the intercom sounded, to warn them of the impending arrival of Alexei’s family. Gretchen took a long, deep breath, and tried to steady her shaking hands, gathering the puppies to her so Alexei could answer the door. 

“Mama, Papa! Zdravstvuite!” Alexei let them in. His younger siblings, Ivan Mashkov, Olympic Figure Skating hopeful, and Svetlana Mashkova, studying computer science, walked past their parents and Alexei, straight to Gretchen and the puppies. . 

“Gretchen! Are even prettier in person!” Sveta walked up and hugged her. “And puppies are being even cuter!” 

“Wait, I didn’t think the show had aired in Russia yet.” Gretchen looked from one to the other. 

“Tor site.” Sveta smiled, and crouched to pet the puppies. “So cute! How you talk brother into keep three of them.” 

“He wanted to keep all five, but I’d already told Pearl and Jenna they could each have one,” Gretchen said. “Hi, Ivan.” 

“Hi, Sveta is right. You are being too pretty for dumb brother.” Ivan smiled, a little shy. Alexei walked up and got him in a headlock. 

“Worst, Ivan.” Alexei ruffled his hair. “Mama, Papa, is being Gretchen.” 

“Hi, Mr. Mashkov, Mrs. Mashkova.” Gretchen said, shifting nervously, until Anya Mashkova, Russian Olympic medalist figure skater, pulled her in for a tight hug. 

“Please, call me Mama. Or Anya. Either is ok.” She smiled, and held Gretchen out at arms’ length. “Beautiful. Make Alexei very happy.” She spoke rapidly in Russian to her husband. Not much taller than Gretchen, Anya was slender, but solid muscle. With her pale skin, long blonde hair and big brown eyes, she looked like a doll. Her husband was nearly as big as Alexei, a little soft around the middle, with the same jolly smile, and brown hair and eyes. Alexei’s eyes were his mother’s though. 

“Papa’s English is not so good,” Sveta told her. “He play in KHL, not leave Russia.” 

“Oh, ok.” Gretchen nodded. Papa Mashkov, Yuri, walked up and hugged her too. 

“Papa says you are beautiful. And Alyosha better take good care of you.” Sveta translated. 

“Thank you, spacibo,” Gretchen said. Papa Mashkov beamed at her, and spoke to Alexei, an arm around Gretchen’s shoulders. 

“He is saying we will have you speak Russian in no time,” Sveta said. 

“Oh, don’t tell me Spanish teacher that.” Gretchen laughed. Sveta translated, and Yuri laughed. 

Gretchen, Ivan and Sveta took the puppies for a walk across the street, while Alexei talked to this parents in the apartment. Then, they took two cars, Alexei’s gigantic SUV and his car, a BMW, to a local Russian restaurant. 

She and Alexei had been there several times. Oleg and Irina considered Alexei their adopted child, and had greeted Gretchen with open arms as well. For tonight, they had reserved the private room at the back of the restaurant, and Thirdy, Christine, Lena, Nathaniel and Pearl came as well.” 

“Christine, she is tell me how much you love my Alyosha,” Anya told Gretchen, as Sveta was dragged off to play translator for her father, Thirdy and Nathaniel. Ivan sat with Lena, Pearl and Alexei. “Sveta downloaded the season, and I can see it, before even you do, I think.” 

“Probably. Well, I knew I was falling in love with him, I didn’t realize it was reciprocated.” Gretchen blushed. “I didn’t think it would happen.” 

“Alyosha is always knowing his own mind. Yuri want him to stay in Russia, play in KHL. Alyosha is insist, must be NHL. Must be.” Anya scowled in an imitation of grumpy teenaged Alexei. “So, we make arrangements, he is get chance, and he is make it. And now he is find you. Must be fate.” 

“I’m glad he did.” Gretchen smiled, watching Alexei deep in conversation with Pearl about something. He looked up, saw her, and smiled broadly. “God damn, I have it so bad for him it isn’t funny.” 

“It’s kind of funny,” Christine chuckled, taking a drink of her wine. “And Pearl has both of you wrapped around her little finger. Anything happens to us, you’re getting saddled with her.” 

“Please don’t die,” Gretchen said, eyes wide and earnest. “I mean, I like you, so don’t die for that reason. But also, I am not equipped for Pearl full time.” 

“No one is,” Christine laughed. “I love my baby, but she is a handful. At least she has a good heart.” 

“Yeah, pretty sure my cousin’s little girl Rose is going to be the same way.” Gretchen sipped her tea. 

“She is being one at the barbecue, Alexei carry her all day.” Anya laughed. “So cute! I am hope you want kids.” 

“Yeah, just not quite yet.” Gretchen shrugged. “We’re young. We got time. And Alexei says he wants to be home when they’re little.” She glanced at Christine. “No judgement on you guys, but he really wants to be home with them.” 

“Lena was an oops baby,” Christine said. “I was on antibiotics for strep throat, and no one warned me it could mess with your birth control. I’m glad we have her, but we probably would have waited a bit.” She glanced at Gretchen. “She knows. Randall’s busy-body sister ‘felt she should know’ when she was 13. I could have strangled her. We had to sit down and explain that while she had been a surprise, the second we knew we were pregnant, we knew we had to keep her and that we would love her forever. It’s only come up in a couple dozen fights since then. I cannot wait to have no more teenagers.” 

“Fortunately, Ivan is much easier than either of his siblings.” Anya smiled. “Alyosha and Sveta both very much like their father. Ivan take after me, but more quiet. Very proud of all my children.” 

“I am an only child, and we’re still discussing how many children we might want.” Gretchen took a deep breath. 

“Alyosha was also oops baby,” Anya told them. “He always wanted siblings closer in age, but I was still competing. He spent much time with his grandmother. I had Sveta when he was 8, and Ivan two years later.” 

“I spent a lot of time with my grandmothers, who get along famously, for all that Grandma Gretchen didn’t really speak English until I was almost in middle school. The funeral home business is fairly steady. So to keep me out from underfoot during services, I would go over to one of their houses, or they’d pick me up together and we’d day trip to the zoo, or something.” 

“See, I’m tell you Mama will like you!” She and Alexei walked into the apartment after dropping his parents and siblings off at the hotel. “Papa like you, too. Sveta says you are being too cool for me, and Ivan says you are nicer than I deserve.” He wrapped his arms around her, and puppies clamored to be taken out for a walk. 

“She’s pretty great,” Gretchen said, letting him hold her. “We should walk the monsters, and then come back and go to bed. I am wiped out.” 

“Papa so happy you try using Russian words with him sometimes.” He kissed her. “Mama loves you a lot already.” 

“I kind of love her. And your Dad. And Sveta and Ivan. I think he has a crush on Lena.” 

“I’m think he is having crush on Nathaniel.” Alexei shrugged. “Could be like Zimmboni, crush on both. Either way is bad news, because Pearl is crush on him.” 

“Oh no, she would never forgive either of them.” Gretchen giggled. “The self-righteous indignation!” 

“So much!” Alexei laughed. “Tomorrow is being brunch at B and Zimmboni. Then Christine taking Mama and Sveta, maybe Ivan, too, shopping. Papa watch hockey with me and Zimmboni, and Dex and Nurse, maybe few other guys come over. Can watch with us, or have some quiet with puppies.” 

“You said quiet and puppies in the same sentence!” Gretchen laughed. “I’ll see how it goes tomorrow.” She stretched up to kiss him. “Let’s take the little beasts for their nigh-nigh walks, and come back to bed.” 

“Best idea. Best.” Alexei kissed her back. “Tomorrow night is Falcs’ New Year’s party. Very casual. Family come to that, too. Then, New Year’s Day is presents. Is why Mama want to go shopping with Christine tomorrow, buy you things. She bring some things from Russia, but will want to buy more.” 

“I hope they like their gifts,” Gretchen exhaled. 

“Will love them, golubka. I’m promise.” He kissed her again. “Walk puppies, come back, I relax you.” 

“Uh, huh.” She giggled again. “I love you.” 

“Loving you, so much.” He smiled, and bent down to scoop up a puppy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, I'm a little late today. I took the day off and slept in for a while, after getting up at 6 to feed the cat, of course. 
> 
> Final count on chapters is 27, because my Beta reader, when I said I was done at the wedding, informed me I was not, because she required the honeymoon. And, well, you have to keep your Betas happy.


	22. New Year's Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Surprise breakfast, a ring, and brunch.

On New Year’s Day, Gretchen woke up alone in their bed, and pushed herself upright, smelling coffee and waffles. She got up and went in to the bathroom to take a quick shower, and pull on some clothes that were presentable enough for seeing Alexei’s family, and comfy enough for her hangover. 

She opened the bedroom door to see Sveta and Ivan on the floor playing with puppies, and Anya in the kitchen making waffles. 

“Good morning, golubka.” Alexei walked up to kiss her cheek. “Mama want to surprise us with breakfast.” 

“I fall in love with waffles while train in US during 80s.” Anya smiled. “There is coffee. Yuri went back to hotel for something we forget this morning.” 

“Thank you,” Gretchen wandered over to the breakfast bar and sat down while Alexei poured her coffee. “Sorry, I’m usually a little more with it in the morning, but I’m a little hungover. Jenna and Eric are booze pushers.” 

“Yes, was little fragile myself this morning.” Anya opened the beeping waffle iron. “Will have enough for start eating soon. Alyosha, set table.” 

“Yes, Mama.” Alexei kissed Gretchen’s cheek again. “Do not make too many, still have New Year’s Day brunch at Thirdy’s. B is cook.” He went to get plates and silverware. 

“I think I have you to thank for how well-trained he is,” Gretchen said. Alexei stuck his tongue out at her. 

“No. He was never being this helpful at home. I’m thinking this all for you, Gretchen.” Anya poured more batter in the waffle maker and closed the lid. “I like you waffle maker. Have to buy one, ship home.” 

“Eric recommended it.” Gretchen yawned. “Sorry.” 

“S’ok, malenkaya.” Anya laughed. “Kids already feed and take puppies for walk. Going to get asked for dog forever once we are getting home.” 

Yuri got there a few minutes later, carrying a large shopping bag, which he set with several others near the TV. 

They all sat down to breakfast, Alexei reached under the table to take Gretchen’s hand. She looked over at him, and he smiled at her. She smiled back, and across the table, Anya teared up a little. 

“Ok, is being time for presents!” Alexei announced after they’d cleared the dishes. The puppies yapped excitedly, because Alexei was excited. 

“You are a big kid.” Gretchen laughed, and pulled him in for a kiss. “You want to go get them out of the guest room?”

“Yes, being right back!” He kissed her, and went into the guest room. Sveta and Ivan started unpacking the shopping bags, and sorting the presents into piles. 

“We maybe went little overboard,” Anya told her, walking up. “Do not usually get this much, but this is special occasion.” She gave Gretchen a one-armed hug. “Welcome to family, Malenkaya.” 

“Thank you, I may start crying. Just a heads up.” Gretchen sniffed. 

“S’ok. I’m tell you stories about Alyosha as teenager make that go away.” Anya squeezed her shoulders. “Is nice have someone about my height. Surrounded by giants.” 

“Tell me about it.” Gretchen giggled. 

“Ok, have presents, first trip!” Alexei called, carefully dodging puppies as he carried a pile of presents out to the couch. “One, maybe two more. Sveta’s is being little bigger.” 

Eventually Sveta, Ivan and Alexei had all the presents sorted, and they all sat, Gretchen, Alexei and Anya on the couch, Yuri sat in the chair, and Sveta and Ivan sat on the floor. From Alexei they all got some Falconers gear, Anya and Sveta got new iPhones, Anya got a sapphire pendant on a silver chain. Yuri got a watch. And they all had flat rectangular packages from Gretchen in front of them. 

“Alexei said that Russia doesn’t do a lot of the things like the NHL does with trading cards and stuff, so, um…” She gestured at Yuri’s and he opened it to find a painted ‘Yuri Ivanovich Mashkov’ KHL trading card. He beamed at it, and turned it to show everyone. 

“Wait, is painting? Look like photograph!” Sveta exclaimed, and then translated. Yuri smiled even more broadly. 

“Papa love it!” Sveta told her. “Mama, open yours!” 

Anya smiled, and opened up her present to find a picture of her in a pale rose skating costume, not spinning or in the middle of a jump, but landing, one leg bent, the other outstretched, face turned up, and smiling, not the forced performance smile, but smiling in joy, in happiness. 

“Is being so lovely.” Anya smiled and stopped herself from touching the surface of the paining. The background was a swirl of black and dark blues, spangled with stars. 

“All the flashbulbs in the stands made me think of twinkling stars, and, oh, I watched hours of footage until I saw what I needed.” Gretchen smiled. “You look so happy.” 

“I, yes, I landed jump that had given me so much trouble.” Anya turned and hugged her. “I love it! Thank you!” 

Ivan opened his next, to find a painting from his performance at Skate Canada International that fall, wearing black and red, bent over, skating backwards, arms outstretched, hair sticking to his face a little, a look of pure focus on his face. 

“You don’t smile much when you skate, mister.” Gretchen laughed. 

“I love it, is very me!” Ivan grinned. “Men allowed not to smile all the time. Sexist double standard.” 

“Sveta, yours is a little different, but I think you will like it.” Gretchen told her. 

Sveta unwrapped it to find a painting with Ada Lovelace in the top left corner and arcing toward the bottom were Katherine Howard, Margaret Hamilton, and then Sveta bent over her laptop and peering at her screen, a pencil held between her teeth, hair back in a messy bun. 

“I went through all of Alexei’s pictures of you for one that showed me what you were passionate about. It’s also why yours is a little bigger.” Gretchen waited. 

“It is being amazing!” Sveta breathed. “Is best one!” 

“Open yours, golubka.” Alexei nudged her

“Oh, yeah, right. Sorry, I was nervous whether the paintings would go over.” She laughed, and reached for the first box. There was a KHL St. Petersburg jersey, and some Russian candy, a book from the Hermitage, which Gretchen started to get lost in, until Alexei nudged her. 

Anya handed her a small box, a ring box. 

“Mama, what is?” Alexei frowned at the box. 

“No pressure, promise. And I am knowing you are not biggest fan of diamonds, so might be perfect. Is Alyosha’s great-grandmother’s engagement ring. “Has been in family long time, hidden during Revolution. Do not feel you are having to use it for engagement or wedding, but we want you to have it.” 

“What? I can’t, oh!” Gretchen hugged Anya tight, tearing up. 

“Open box, golubka. If it fits we can use.” Alexei kissed her cheek. “Mama, you are not tell me this.” 

“I wanted to meet her, to see for myself. I trust Christine, but I needed to meet her.” Anya smiled. 

Gretchen’s hands shook as she opened the box. A gold ring, with a sapphire surrounded by tiny pale blue stones in a delicate looking filigree setting. 

“Oh my god, it’s beautiful.” She teared up, staring at the ring. 

“Here.” Alexei took the ring out of the box, and slid it on her ring finger. It fit like it was made for her. “Is being fate. Golubka, you are still wanting to marry me?”

“Yes, baby, yes!” Gretchen hugged him tight, tears running down her cheeks. She turned and hugged Anya again. “Thank you!” 

“You make my Alyosha so happy, Gretchen. Everything I am knowing about you make you seem better. I am happy you are my daughter now.” Anya started crying. Sveta smiled, with tears on her cheeks, Ivan definitely wiped away a tear or two, and Yuri grinned proudly from his chair. 

They got to the Robinson’s on time, bearing bottles of champagne and orange juice for mimosas, and three squirming, yapping puppies. They’d been there about an hour before Jenna frowned at Gretchen. 

“What are you wearing?” Jenna asked, eyes narrowing. 

“Um, a sweater dress Alexei bought me last week. Is something wrong with it?” Gretchen looked down. 

“No, on your left hand.” Jenna took hold of the hand. “Is this your engagement ring? And you didn’t say anything?” 

“It’s, um, Alexei’s great-grandmother’s ring.” Gretchen blushed, mimosa in her right hand. 

“Holy fuck, it’s gorgeous!” Jenna turned around. “Hey! Mueller’s been holding out on us. They have a ring!” 

“Ok, I literally just got it this morning, you asshole.” Gretchen giggled, as Gabby and Christine raced over. 

“Anya, is this the ring?” Christine emphasized the word ‘the.’

“Yes, You are being right. She is perfect for Alyosha.” Anya smiled. “Should see paintings she did for our presents.” 

“I did. She fussed over those things for months.” Christine looked at the ring. “This is amazing.” 

“Do you know what the small pale blue stones are?” Jenna asked. 

“In Russian is khalcedon,” Anya said. 

“Chalcedony?” Gretchen asked. 

“Sounds right,” Anya nodded. 

“I love chalcedony, I always have.” Gretchen smiled at the ring. 

“Just when we get used to the baseline of nauseating sweetness, it’s just going to get worse.” Gabby groaned in mock exhaustion. 

“Ha ha,” Gretchen elbowed her gently. 

“Are you guys coming to the game tomorrow night?” Christine asked.

“Oh, yes. Alexei say we can sit in the box with Gretchen, Eric, you and girls, Gabby and Jenna.” Anya paused. “Isabelle is ok? We have not seen much of her.” 

“I’m not sure. She’s been awful quiet.” Christine frowned, looking over where Isabelle sat with Guy, his hand on her leg while she laughed at something Alexei had translated for his father. 

“It’s the New Year, the anniversary of her brother’s death. She gets this way every year.” Gabby smiled a little seeing Isabell laugh. “They were very close, and it hit her hard.” 

“Should we do anything for her?” Gretchen asked. “I feel like a terrible friend.” 

“No, she’ll be ok. Although if Anya were to ask her to come to the game tomorrow, I’m sure she would.” Gabby said.

“I will go ask.” Anya arched a brow at Gabby. “You are spending too much time around Alyosha. Not subtle.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, it is a firm 27 chapters.
> 
> No idea how long the next fic will be. 
> 
> If anyone is actually interested in my original fiction, let me know, I'll toss in a couple links. I think that's allowed.


	23. Vegas!!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gretchen flies out to Vegas to stay with Kent and Blaise

Blaise picked Gretchen up from the airport the day before the Aces -v- Falcs game. She showed up in a black and silver mustang convertible. 

“This has to be Kent’s car.” Gretchen laughed, as Blaise popped the trunk. 

“It’s mine.” Blaise helped her put her bags in. “He bought us each one. His is silver with black.” 

“Of course,” Gretchen waited until Blaise closed the trunk, and then got in. “So did he spring for a manual, or do you have the hybrid engine?”

“Manual.” Blaise told her. “If I’m going to drive something like this, I’m going to drive a stick.” She paused. “His is the hybrid.” 

“Of course. Alexei can’t drive stick either. What is with these boys?” Gretchen laughed, putting on her sunglasses. “So what’s the plan?” 

“Well, Kent and I thought we’d take you to dinner and maybe dancing or a show, and then tomorrow, we can do a spa day while he’s getting ready for the game, grab dinner with the other Aces SOs, they are dying to meet you, and then go to the game. When’s your plane leave?”

“Day after the game around 1-ish. I’m going to meet him in LA, get a hotel room, see some people, and by some people I mean Dom mostly, and then fly back home.” Gretchen relaxed in the passenger seat. 

“Damn, I was hoping I’d talked you into one more day.” Blaise navigated out of the airport traffic. “Oh well. Kent will bring Alexei back here after the game.” 

“I really cannot inflict the puppies on Christine for that long.” Gretchen said, looking around at all the casinos and hotels. “Jesus, it really does look like an episode of CSI.” 

“Don’t let anyone from here hear you say that.” Blaise snorted. “‘Worst thing that ever happened to Vegas! Everyone thinks we have all this crime! Blah blah blah!’”

“So you’re not from here.” Gretchen snickered. 

“No, I’m from Eastern Oregon.” Blaise rolled her eyes. “Grew up on a ranch with God, Guns and ‘Murica. Fuck that redneck bullshit. Got out as soon as I could.” 

“Ooo, yeah, Dad’s side of the family has a few of those lurking in the family tree. We don’t talk much. But their kids seem to keep finding me on social media.” Gretchen sighed. 

“So, we’ll get you settled in the guest room, and then I went to see what you brought for going out.” Blaise drove them down the strip. 

“Why?” Gretchen asked, narrowing her eyes. 

“Because we do things differently here, and I might need to take you shopping.” Blaise smiled under her own sunglasses. “I’ll let you do my make up tonight, too…” She sang. 

“Yeah, all right.” Gretchen groaned. “I don’t think we’ll find anything my size, though.” 

“I do my homework. I got you.” Blaise giggled. “I did not get into MIT without preparation. Please.” 

“Yeah, ok.” Gretchen rolled out her neck. “I hate flying less when it’s first class, and I am a little ashamed of myself for that.” 

“Don’t be. First class is lovely.” Blaise sighed. “Granted, I don’t like flying in general. But I can deal with it.” 

“Did you guys ever get to Threepenny Opera when you were in New York?” Gretchen pulled out her phone to text Alexei. 

“Yes! It was amazing! I really wish I could have seen the production with Alan Cumming and Cyndi Lauper. I’ve seen their clip from the Tony’s and it’s incredible. But this cast was really good, too.” 

Eventually they pulled up to a gated community, the security guard nodded to Blaise and they drove in. 

“Holy shit!” Gretchen looked at the house, very modern and very big.

“Remember, real estate is much cheaper here than a lot of places, certainly cheaper than LA.” Blaise pulled the car into the garage, right next to a silver mustang, same year, and a Ducati motorcycle.

“Kent rides a motorcycle?” Gretchen asked. 

“No, that’s mine. I bought it used before I got here, Kent paid to get it tuned up and restored.” Blaise ran a hand over the bike’s seat and gas tank. “When I got down here I had a beat up old pick up, and a trailer that I had this in, and my stuff, with a camper shell on the truck so I had a place to sleep. Oh, and a very large, very loud black Norwegian forest cat I liberated from an ex who really didn’t give a shit about him.” 

“You don’t post many pictures of him.” Gretchen and Blaise got her bags. 

“He has an instinctive disdain of cameras, and I’ve only ever managed to catch a couple decent pictures. The rest are his butt or his back, or a close up of an ear because he head-butted my phone.” Blaise laughed. “He’s kind of a jerk. His name’s Crowley and you’ll meet him inside.” 

As the door opened, a piercing yowl was heard from inside the house. 

They went in, and she saw a tiny, delicate black cat, with green eyes and a massive black long-hair, with bright orange eyes. The long-haired cat yowled again, then uttered a tiny “meep.” 

“Yes, I was gone for an entire hour, away from cats!” Blaise bent down to scoop him up. “This is Crowley. Crowley, this is Gretchen, be nice.” 

Crowley sniffed Gretchen’s fingers and then rubbed his cheek against them. 

“You’re his now.” Blaise rolled her eyes. “Let’s get your stuff upstairs.” 

“Oh, hey, you’re here! Welcome to Vegas!” Kent walked up in a pair of basketball shorts and a tank top. He scooped up the tiny black cat. “Say hi, Kit.” The tiny black cat trilled, eyes squeezing shut. “She loves everybody.” 

“Hi, Kit! I follow your instagram!” Gretchen let her sniff her hand, and then rubbed around her ears. A deep rumbling purr started immediately. 

“She is very photogenic.” Kent kissed the top of Kit’s head. “Let’s get you settled in the guest room, and then I guess Blaise has an agenda.” 

“Shush you.” Blaise hefted Crowley over one shoulder and then picked up one of Gretchen’s bags again. 

“I think I see how you’re in such good shape,” Gretchen picked up her bags again, too. “How much does he weigh?”

“About 23 pounds.” Blaise led the way up to a guest room with an attached bath. “If you want to soak you can use me and Kent’s bathroom, it has a separate soaking tub.” 

“Yeah, that’s one thing I love about Alexei’s place, the tub. My place in LA barely had a shower. You should have seen Alexei trying to fit inside it. It was adorable and hilarious.” Gretchen giggled. Crowley jumped from Blaise’s shoulder to the floor with a loud ‘oof’ sound and sauntered out, tail high. 

“I bet.” Blaise laughed with her. “When I first moved here my place had one of those tiny showers, which is weirdly enough how I met Kent sort of.” 

“That sounds like a story.” Gretchen opened up her suitcase to pull out her toiletry bag, then opened up her make-up case to make sure everything had survived the trip.

“I was stripping and doing cam-work on the side, and one of the girls I worked with was dating a team-mate of Kent’s. I kind of fooled around with them a bit, and then after a particularly grueling night at the club, so many Bachelor parties, I said something about not having a tub. We went to my place to pick up some clothes so I could use theirs and she announced that I was moving in with them because my place was a pit. From there I agreed to be Kent’s stunt date for award ceremonies. Which PR loved, especially because cam-work. And then porn happened.” She shrugged. 

“Sadly, he got traded to Dallas,” Kent said, leaning in the doorway, still holding Kit. “I asked Blaise to move in, we’d been ‘dating’ for over a year. Seemed like a good time.” 

“And he gets a live-in cat-sitter.” Blaise leaned against the dresser. “Ok, let’s see what you brought for going out clothes.” 

“Don’t take it personally, there is literally nothing you could possibly have brought that will stop her from taking you shopping,” Kent told Gretchen before she’d even pulled anything out of her suitcase.

“Hush, you.” Blaise glared at him. 

After lunch and shopping, complete with try-on pictures to Alexei, Gretchen sat down with Blaise in the dressing room she shared with Kent off the master suite to do her make up. 

“Oh my god, I love your face!” Gretchen started with a light foundation, did some subtle contouring. “I would murder someone for this bone structure.” 

“I’ll keep that in mind if I ever need to call in a hit.” Blaise kept her face mostly immobile when she spoke. 

“Right, so my plan is to do a little more highlighting of those glorious cheekbones, and then really go for broke on the eyes and lips.” Gretchen said, opening up another level of her case. “Are you allergic to any products?” 

“A few, anything with a lot of scent is a problem for me, my skin does not love spirit gum, and anything Avon, sadly, because I do still love some of their stuff.” Blaise sighed. “My grandma had an Avon lady who made the ten mile trek out to our place so she could sell her stuff.” 

“Yeah, my grandmas were pretty tight with their Avon lady.” Gretchen brushed some eyeshadow primer on Blaise’s lids. 

“Avon, the universal grandma experience.” A corner of Blaise’s mouth twitched as she tried to keep her face still. “You know, you guys don’t have to look out for me when I head to MIT this fall.” 

“Hush. Of course, we will. You’re sweet, and Dom would murder me if I let anything happen to you.” Gretchen finished with the eyeshadow primer, then leaned over to look in her case, then up at the dress Blaise had picked out for that evening. “As much as I want to fire goddess you up, I don’t want to do something everyone else has done with your make-up either.” 

“Even if you do something everyone else has done, I suspect it will be a million times better, because you’re awesome.” Blaise told her. “Do whatever you want.” 

“No pressure.” Gretchen laughed, and reached for a nearly burgundy dark magenta to start with.

Posts on social media tracked their evening through Vegas. Gretchen in a sparkly, mermaid-colored dress with her hair loose, and matching make-up, including blue, glittery lips. Kent in a silver suit that fit impeccably, and Blaise towering over Gretchen and an inch or two taller than Kent in her heels, in a dress that was closer to blood red than flames, her eyes highlighted with deep reds and purples, and long lashes, the outer edges of her lids a subtle flame pattern, and red lips so glossy they looked like pools of blood, her signature red, orange, yellow streaked hair twisted up in a chignon, wearing ruby jewelry. 

People posted pictures of them at the restaurant, feeding each other bites of dessert and laughing. Someone got a picture of Gretchen touching up Blaises’s make-up in the ladies’ room. Pictures of them at Cirque, including several Kent took of Gretchen’s face as she watched the performance, and after when Kent used his pull to get them backstage so she could talk to their make-up person, selfies with the performers. Then at a club, dancing and drinking. 

@TaterMashkov7 You have girlfriend, quit trying steal mine @KVP90

“Well, your boy’s seen pictures of us.” Kent showed her his phone while they took a breather in the VIP section. 

“He’s ridiculous.” Gretchen drank half a bottle of water. “Oh, I have not danced like that in ages. Shit, Alexei and I can go out now! We can go dancing!” 

“I am impressed, none of your make-up, or Blaise’s has run at all,” Kent told her. “And you’re both dripping wet.” 

“I promise you, apart from probably losing the eyelashes, we could go swimming like this and be fine. And Blaise’s lips would lose a little of their gloss.” Gretchen told him. “I’ve done it to prove a point before.” 

“Tell Urban Decay I will spokesmodel any collaboration you guys come up with,” Blaise told her. “This look is so fun! I love it!” 

“We’re pretty close to signing a deal. I’m mostly going to work on expanding their foundation line, but I have plans for eyeshadows and eyeliners.” Gretchen told her. “And a couple lipstick colors. Although that’s harder, because their lipstick game is pretty good already.” 

“Ok, girls, I hate to be a buzzkill, but I have a game tomorrow, so we should probably pack it in.” Kent tossed several bills on the table, and they got up to take a car service back to his house. 

The Falconers’ flight landed around noon, they went straight to the rink, since west coast games started early to accommodate east coast viewers. Kent had someone run Alexei’s non-game related luggage to his place. Blaise and Gretchen spent the morning and early afternoon by the pool, then met the Aces SO’s for late lunch/early dinner. 

“They’ll love you!” Blaise reassured Gretchen as Gretchen did her make-up again. A little more subtle this time. They both wore jerseys. Gretchen had Alexei’s jersey on and Blaise had one of Kent’s on. 

“I hope so. I hope that Alexei and Kent speaking somewhat civilly on social media and the Christmas pictures have smoothed over a lot of that.” Gretchen carefully drew a tiny spade by Blaise’s left eye. “I am going to wait until we get to the rink to put the eyelashes on you, because they are utterly ridiculous and I do not expect you to wear them the entire game.” 

“Oooo! What are they?” Blaise asked. 

“Stop moving your face,” Gretchen said, lifting the eyeliner off Blaise’s skin. “I cut little spades out of feather and glued them to the ends of silver and black drag queen lashes.” 

“I cannot wait! We have to get so many pictures.” Blaise stayed still, practically vibrating with the need to bounce up and down in glee. “I am flying you out to do my make-up for special events forever.” 

Dinner/lunch with the Aces SOs was at a restaurant close to the rink. They’d reserved the patio, and as Gretchen and Blaise walked up, Gretchen recognized someone. 

“Is that Dierdre Morrison?” Gretchen asked, squinting in the sun. 

“Yes, she’s dating Ole Olsson, our current goalie.” Blaise led the way to the patio. 

“Oh my god, Dierde!” Gretchen hugged the goalie’s girlfriend. “I had no idea!” 

“Yeah, turns out Ole’s a big horror fan. He came to a convention I was at, and asked me out.” She hugged Gretchen back. “Gretchen turned me into a murder victim, and then a sexy ghost on one of the Full Moon shoots,” Dierdre told Blaise.

“The sexy part was all you, I just handled the ghost part. Thank god for airbrushes.” Gretchen said. “She was a naked sexy ghost.” 

“Yeah, Gretchen has airbrushed me in places only my gynecologist sees.” Dierde rolled her eyes. 

“I used non-toxic paint.” Gretchen laughed. 

“So you and Mashkov, huh?” Dierdre nudged her. “Not going to lie, I cried like a baby at the rose episodes.” 

“It’s a little weird, having the entire world know how we got together,” Gretchen said. 

“I bet.” Dierde gave her an appraising look. “I can’t believe you didn’t know in Madrid.” 

“Ugh, stop! I didn’t get to see the footage!” Gretchen groaned. 

“Was Gina really that bad in person, because she looked awful on camera?” One of the other wives leaned in. 

“Worse.” Gretchen confided. “At least toward me and Mandi.” 

“Speaking of Mandi, the new look on the follow-up episode. Wow!” Another wife interjected. “I like that look much better than how she looked on the show.”

Gretchen had eyeliner in her purse to touch up the spade by Blaise’s eye, and wound up drawing little spades by the eyes of some of the kids. 

“You’ve started a trend,” Blaise laughed, as Gretchen finished the sixth kid. 

“Text me what you’re using, I’m going to have to do this every game now, especially if the Aces win tonight,” one of the mom’s said. 

At least a couple of the SOs were current or former showgirls, and they chatted with Gretchen about make-up and costumes. 

Before they left for the rink, Gretchen glued on Blaise’s eyelashes, and everyone ooo-ed and ah-ed as she fluttered them for the crowd. 

“I totally get why you carry that huge bag now.” Dierdre told her, as they entered the box. 

“I also have drawing supplies in here,” Gretchen told her. “And a bag of dog treats because I forgot to take them out before I left for the airport.” 

The cameras panned up to the Aces SOs boxes, and focused on Blaise and Gretchen more than a few times. Blaise blew kisses, Gretchen waved. The Aces won the game, to a collective groan from the moms. 

“Now we have to draw those on the kids every time. Thanks, Gretchen,” one of the mom’s told her. Gretchen handed over her tube of eyeliner. 

After the game, Kent had reserved the VIP section of a smaller club, and she and Blaise went back to his place to change and wait for him and Alexei to get there. 

“Golubka!” Alexei swung her around in a hug when he and Kent got to the house. “Miss you!” 

“I miss you, too, baby!” She held tight. 

“I may actually barf.” Kent gagged as he walked by. 

“Stop.” Blaise swatted his arm. “Go get changed.” 

“Yes, ma’am.” Kent ran up to his room, Kit following on his heels. 

“Love you.” Gretchen kissed him. “It’s silly, you’re gone longer usually, but I really missed you this time.” 

“I’m miss you, too.” He kissed her back. “Should go get dress.” 

“Yeah. Ok. I’ll wait out here so there are no distractions.” Gretchen giggled. Alexei waggled his eyebrows at her, and went up to find the guest room. 

“I’m guessing is room with all you make-up everywhere?” Alexei called. 

“Good guess, Mashkov.” Gretchen yelled back. 

“You guys are so fucking cute, it really is kinda gross.” Blaise giggled. 

“Thank you!” Gretchen curtsied, in the blue silky slip dress Blaise had picked out when they’d been shopping the day before.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not much to say here, except thank you all for coming along with me for this weird ride. We've got four more chapters after this.


	24. Family and Other Realities

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gretchen's grandmas go in on a gift for Alexei, and life is overwhelming.

In late-January she and Alexei flew back to Michigan for a quick weekend holiday with her family for second Christmas. Her grandmothers bought Alexei a $100 gift card to Undergear. Gretchen curled up into a tiny ball on the couch, while her cousins laughed uproariously. 

“Who helped them with this? I will skin you alive!” Gretchen wailed from her fetal curl. 

“They asked for the best place to get, and I quote, ‘sexy man-panties.’” Her cousin Ross said, making finger quotes. 

“Ross, I swear to Christ, I will tell your next boyfriend all about the MCR posters in your bedroom when we were teens.” Gretchen said, lifting her head. 

“Please, you’ve met all my boyfriends. They know.” Ross scoffed. “And this is comedy gold.” She looked over to where he was recording. 

“I hate you so much.” Gretchen uncurled. 

“Poots buy underwear from here when start to date Fay.” Alexei snickered. “Will shop by myself, surprise you with sexy underwear.” 

“You’re on, Mashkov.” Gretchen narrowed her eyes at him. 

Two weeks later, her contract with Urban Decay was finalized. Kick off of her collection was set for June, and she got buried in the preparations and creation of that. The cases would be her signature pale blue with black trim. She put together an eyeshadow pallet, a mascara, and several new shades of foundation, a blue lipstick that matched her hair, a matte black lipstick and a gold lipliner with credit given to Morris. 

She had forgotten all about the Undergear gift certificate, until she got back from her studio one day in February to no puppies at home, and Alexei in a Falconer’s blue lace-up thong lounging on the couch. She stopped and bit her lower lip to keep from bursting into giggles. 

“Baby,” she started, but her voice broke, a corner of her mouth twitching. 

“You don’t think they are being sexy?” Alexei pouted at her, then started giggling himself. “Not most ridiculous pair on site, but did not think pair with separate tube for cock would fit.” 

“Oh my god!” Gretchen burst into full blown laughter, hanging onto the kitchen island to stay up. “I love you so much.” He got up and sauntered over to her. 

“I’m also get pairs I’m actually think you are liking. Christine take dogs for the evening, have sleepover with Willie.” He pulled her close. 

“I’m coming around on these.” She tugged at the laces. 

“Know I’m win you over with my sexy body.” He kissed her. 

“And your very sexy bruises. Who hit you?” Gretchen gingerly touched a bruise on his side. 

“Hard check in Dallas. Part of the game, golubka. You are knowing that.” He brushed her hair back to kiss her. 

“I know, I just hate when you’re hurt.” She kissed him back. “Who did you bribe to get home early? 

“Pay to bump ticket couple hours earlier, leave for airport at 3am. Take nap while you are in studio. Now, come to bed. Not wanting to miss night with no dogs, no game next day, only practice.” He tugged her toward the bedroom. “Turn off phone. I’m already order delivery.”

“Ok, baby.” She let him pull her into the bedroom. “What do you want, sweetheart?”

“Make you feel good, maybe play if you are wanting.” In the bedroom, he helped her undress. “Been so stress, I’m being on the road. Wanted night alone with you, golubka.”

“Yeah, you’re right, baby. So right.” She let him pull her sweater off, and wrapped her arms around his neck. “I do want to play. And I missed you so fucking much.” 

“Come on, need to get out of these. Very tight, kind of uncomfortable.” He squirmed a little. 

“I could be mean and tell you I love them and I want you to keep them on.” Gretchen smiled, eyes half closed. 

“You are being terrible liar.” He reached down to unzip her jeans. 

“Baby?” Gretchen lay sprawled across Alexei’s chest afterwards. 

“Yes, golubka?” He kissed the top of her head. 

“When do we wanna get married?” She lifted her head to look at him. “I haven’t looked at dresses or anything. I’m sorry.” 

“Is being ok. Pearl find dress she is thinking you will love. I’m wait until you are not so stressed over contract and everything.” He reached for his phone. “Lena and Claire also pick out dress. I’m tell them I will show them to you.” 

“Ok, I’m a little nervous about this, but ok.” Gretchen scooted up the bed until she could recline against the headboard next to Alexei

“Ok, first is being Lena’s pick.” A long white gown with a fishtail hem, long train, a deep neckline and flutter sleeves. 

“That’s actually very nice,” Gretchen told him. 

“I’m have them all bookmarked.” Alexei told her. “Now, Claire’s.” 

Claire’s pick was ivory, off the shoulder with a corseted top and flowing skirt. 

“I like the silhouette, but with my rack. Mmmm, I don’t know about that.” Gretchen frowned at it.

“Ok, and Pearl’s.” Alexei pulled up a fishtail hem dress with a lace overlay, very fitted, lace sleeves and lace off the shoulder yoke over the fitted bodice. 

“I like this one, too.” Gretchen looked at it. 

“Pearl will being very excite.” Alexei laughed. “Can look at other dresses, too.” 

“Sure, but I do like that one.” Gretchen snuggled up to Alexei. “Which one do you like?”

“I’m like Pearl’s. I’m see a couple others I’m like, too.” Alexei pulled up more dresses. “This one have some flowers, I’m think are being neat.” Gretchen cuddled closer, and looked at dresses with him. 

“I know I’m not giving us much time to plan this,” She rested her head on his shoulder. 

“I’m having secret weapons.” Alexei grinned at her. “Have to be after playoffs, because we are making playoffs at least. So late June at earliest.” 

“And what is your secret weapon?” Gretchen kissed his nose. 

“Would not being secret if I’m tell you.” He tossed his phone onto the nightstand, and pulled her on top of him. 

Alexei’s secret weapon was Mandi. 

“Oh, right. You were a wedding planner!” Gretchen said, when Mandi got to the apartment the next day. 

“Yeah, and I have the show’s budget behind me because they don’t want to get sued into next year because of what happened and their part in it.” Mandi hugged her tight. “I’m so happy for you guys!” 

“Thanks, sweetheart.” Gretchen hugged her back. “Alexei’s at the rink, but he said he’s already talked to you about what he wants.” 

“He has. You married a big old romantic.” Mandi giggled, pulling a rolling suitcase in behind her. “Don’t worry, I have a hotel room. I know your guys’ time together is limited during the season, so I won’t intrude.” 

“Thank you, I mean, we’d love to have you stay. But there’s also the matter of the three half-grown pups who think the guest room is theirs.” Gretchen rolled her eyes. “Christine is bringing them back today. She puppy-sat last night so we could have alone time.” 

“I cannot wait to meet the puppies. And Christine. She was amazing on the Christmas Eve show!” Mandi followed Gretchen to the dining room table, and pulled a laptop out of the bag strapped to the handle of her suitcase. “Ok, so venue is handled. Disneyland is a go.” Mandi told her, flipping open the screen and taking it off airplane mode. “I hope that’s ok. Tater really had his heart set on a Disney wedding.” 

“It is perfectly ok.” Gretchen told her. “Coffee? Or anything else to drink?”

“God, yes!” Mandi told her. “What are your colors?” 

“They’re going to have to be blue and white with yellow highlights, the Falcs’ team colors.” Gretchen said, getting out a mug for coffee. “We can possibly skip the yellow.”

“Gold.” Mandi started pulling up things on her laptop. “You look amazing in gold, the engagement ring is gold, your make up at the gala was amazing. Now, Tater was thinking two dresses.” 

“Two?” Gretchen asked, filling up the mug. “Cream and sugar?” 

“Little bit of cream.” Mandi said. “Yes, one really fancy traditional one for the ceremony, and a less elaborate one for the reception. I have ideas. We also need to talk wedding party.” 

“Oh my god! This is why I did not want a big wedding.” Gretchen sat and slid the cup of coffee across to her. “What does Alexei want?”

“He says, Snowy, Zimmboni, Marty, Thirdy,” Mandi said. 

“Well, that’s Jenna, Eric, Gabby, and Christine,” Gretchen told her. “We should probably add Alexei’s brother Ivan and Lena, Nathaniel Robinson and Sveta, and we have to get Pearl in there somehow.” 

“I have an idea. No one you guys are close to has kids young enough for ring bearer or flower girl, and having seen Pearl on the show and talked to Alexei. We think we have a solution. Trust me, you’ll love it and he wants it to be a surprise. Just let Tater and I handle it.” 

“Well, we’ve gone this far with that strategy.” Gretchen sipped her own coffee. 

“And for Lena, Nathaniel, Ivan and Sveta, why don’t we make all of them ushers. It gives them something to do that isn’t making your wedding party huge.” Mandi suggested. 

“I’m down.” Gretchen nodded. 

The next few months were a flurry of fittings, and tastings, and online meetings for her Urban Decay collection. The show had committed to flying the families down, the Robinsons as well. Gretchen had tapped Blaise and Mandi as models for the opening party in LA, right before the wedding. 

“I mean, we’ll be down there anyway,” Gretchen said, crawling into Alexei’s lap. “I’m calling it my bachelorette party. And this is it. We can’t ever get divorced because I’m only doing this shit once.” 

“I’m never want anyone else, golubka.” Alexei kissed her. “I’m think Blaise is having crush on you.” 

“What? No! Shit, I wish.” Gretchen snorted. “I mean, I love you, but I do still like women, too.” 

“Trust me, Blaise is crush hard on you.” Alexei rubbed her back. “What you want tonight, golubka?”

“How about you never stop doing that?” She exhaled into the side of his neck. 

“Still have rest of season.” He kissed the top of her head. “How about we go into bedroom, I’m make you feel good? Then we order pizza and blow meal plan. So stress.” 

“Ok, I can get behind that.” She lifted her head to kiss him. “I’m sorry I’m freaking out.” 

“Lot going on. I’m just have to play games. You have lot to do. Tux fitting piece of cake.” He snickered. “How many more dress fitting?”

“Don’t remind me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, getting close to the end. Here. There may be another Gretchen, Alexei story, because I found myself shopping for houses for them the other day. 
> 
> Ugh, really, brain?


	25. The Wedding

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gretchen's Urban Decay launch party, and THE WEDDING!

The Falcs got knocked out in the second round of the playoffs. Gretchen and Alexei went to Vegas to stay with Kent and Blaise, and watch the Aces lose to the Ducks in game 7. Then back to Providence for a last round of fittings, then out to LA for the Urban Decay launch party, and the wedding at Disneyland.

The night of the party, Gretchen hired Dom to help with make-up. She did Blaise’s and Mandi’s make-up herself, then had Dom do hers. Blaise and Mandi were the only white models, everyone else was Black, Latinx, or Southeast Asian, very few of them were professional models. They had WNBA players, Rugby players, musicians, actors of all genders. The call had gone out for POC with minimal or no modeling experience and an emphasis on genderqueer and trans models, trans femme, trans masc, non-binary, and agender. 

“Gretchen, sweetheart, breathe.” Blaise put a hand on Gretchen’s back. She held a bottle of water with a straw in it up to Gretchen’s lips. “Drink. Ok, now breathe with me. In, hold, out. In, hold, out.” 

“Sorry, I just, holy shit, I’m…” She trailed off. 

“Don’t you dare cry and ruin that make-up!” Dom swatted her with a fan. She laughed. 

“Yeah, ok. I’m ok.” Gretchen took a deep breath. 

“You look stunning in that dress. I told you.” Blaise had brought the dress from Vegas with her, and had bribed a seamstress to do a quick tailoring session with them in the hotel that afternoon. 

“Alexei thinks you have a crush on me,” Gretchen blurted. “Oh, shit! I mean, fuck. Sorry, he’s not upset about it. He thinks it’s cute, and god damn it.” 

“I do have a crush on you,” Blaise very gently poked her in the tip of her nose. “You are a fucking delight. You are also marrying your one true love.” 

“We, um, talked about it, a little, I mean, if he was right. And I know you dated Kent’s team-mate and his girlfriend, and oh shit, I’m going to shut up now.” Gretchen blushed furiously. 

“We can discuss this after this party, your marriage, and I move to Massachusetts for school.” Blaise smiled. “You’re adorable when you’re flustered.” 

“Shut up!” Gretchen looked down bashfully.

“Ok, everyone! Ready!” The stage manager waved a clipboard to get attention. “We’re sending everyone else out first, you have your marching order. We’ll end with Mandi and Blaise flanking Gretchen at the very end, balloons and confetti come down, and then it turns into a dance party. The crew will clear out the catwalk and put out some tables and the waitstaff will circulate with drinks and snacks. Someone will escort Gretchen over to the area we’ve set aside for interviews and pictures with the products.” 

“You got this, sweetheart.” Blaise squeezed her hand. Mandi walked up to stand on her other side as the music swelled, and the first models walked out. 

Four days later, on June 26th, Gretchen waited in the wings while music swelled again, only instead of wearing a glittery mini-dress, she wore a long white fishtail gown with a deep neckline and fluttery sleeves, reminiscent of the 1920s. She had her hair braided back under a beaded head dress, and carried a trailing bouquet of pink orchids and roses, with one red rose in the center. She took a deep breath. 

“You got this.” Jenna smiled at her. 

“Thanks.” Gretchen smiled back. Alexei’s parents walked out to their seats. Then Gretchen’s grandmothers and mom. Then the music shifted and Thirdy and Christine, Gabby and Marty, Jack and Eric, then Snowy and Jenna. The guys all wore white tuxes, including Eric who had offered to get a gown himself, like Billy Porter’s at the Oscars a few years ago, in the correct blue, like the women’s dresses. Gretchen had broken out in giggles, and said no. Eric had seemed relieved. 

Gerhard offered Gretchen his arm, and she took it. 

“You sure about this, babygirl?”Gerhard asked with a soft smile. 

“Yeah, more than anything I’ve ever done.” She smiled back, and Gerhard kissed her cheek, and turned to lead her outside, and down the aisle. 

The sun was setting behind Sleeping Beauty’s castle, and Alexei stood with his groomsmen in white tuxes with Falconers’ blue cummerbunds and pocket squares. Gretchen smiled, seeing him, and the tears started to fall. Guests along the aisle scattered rose petals in front of her, and then she and Gerhard were at the front. 

“You got this.” Gerhard handed her off to Alexei. She could feel Alexei’s hands shaking slightly, and smiled up at him. 

“Most beautiful.” He smiled back, then reached up to wipe away a tear with his thumb. “Loving you so much, golubka.” 

“I love you, baby.” She smiled so wide her face hurt. 

They turned and walked up to the officiant, a Black Unitarian Minister Dom knew fromWest Hollywood. 

“Thank you every one of you who could make the trip to see these two people wed. It has been quite a journey to the altar, I understand.” He paused while a quiet chuckle ran through the crowd. “My job is fairly easy, because the Bride and Groom have written their own vows.” He nodded, and tilted the microphone toward them. 

“Golubka, Gretchen, every day since I’m first meet you has been better than last.” He squeezed her hand. “I’m loving you more than I’m know is possible. More than hockey. More than B’s pies. I’m love you so much, cannot imagine not love you, not be with you. Nothing would make me happier than spend rest of my life with you, making you happy, holding you when you are being sad, and loving you every minute.” 

“Alexei, I didn’t think I would ever find anyone I could love like I love you. Gretchen took a deep breath, and tried to keep her voice from breaking. “At first, before I knew you loved me back, I hated it because I never thought you could be mine, and then you came back to me in a hot, stuffy trailer, in the back lot of a TV show set, and I am happier than I have ever imagined. Nothing would make me happier than to spend the rest of my life with you, making you happy, holding you when you are sad, icing your hockey injuries, and loving you every minute.” She looked up at him, eyes wet with tears. 

“Alexei,” the Minister consulted his notes. “Do you, Alexei Yureivich Mashkov, promise to love, honor, cherish, and raise puppies, kittens or any other strays with Gretchen Daisy Mueller, from this day forward?” 

“I’m do.” Alexei nodded. 

“And Gretchen, do you, Gretchen Daisy Mueller, promise to love, honor, cherish, and to always draw Alexei Yureivich Mashkov like like one of your French girls, from this day forward?”

“I do.” Gretchen smiled at Alexei. 

“The rings?” the minister asked. Alexei turned and nodded to Mandi, who spoke into the small radio she carried to coordinate everything. 

Pearl, wearing a white tuxedo jacket, skirt and sandals, blue and white ribbons in her hair, carried a stainless steel briefcase up the aisle, handcuffed to her wrist, with an earbud in, wearing dark glasses. She carried it up to the front pews, set it on Gretchen’s Dad’s lap, opened it, and pulled out two ring boxes. 

Gretchen started laughing, and had to steady herself on Alexei’s arm. 

“Mandi tell you we take care of Pearl.” Alexei grinned at her. They took the ring boxes, each kissed Pearl on the cheek, and went back to the minister. The guests had erupted in laughter when Gretchen did. They waited for it to die down a bit. Alexei pulled the ring out of it’s box and handed it back to Snowy. 

“Alexei, repeat after me: With this ring, I thee wed.” The Minister said. 

“With this ring, I thee wed.” Alexei slid the ring onto Gretchen’s finger. 

“Gretchen,” the Minister waited as she struggled with the ring box, getting the ring free and tossing the box to Pearl. “Repeat after me: With this ring, I thee wed.” 

“With this ring, I thee wed.” Gretchen giggled as she slid the ring onto Alexei’s finger. 

“Now, with the power vested in me by the state of California, I declare you Husband and Wife. You may share your first married kiss.” The Minister smiled, and as Alexei kissed her, the fireworks started going off over over Sleeping Beauty’s castle. 

“I cannot believe you bribed them to hold it until we kissed.” Gretchen giggled against his lips. 

“Was being all Mandi.” Alexei kissed her again, dipping her back. 

“Everyone, I present to you the Mueller-Mashkovs!” The Minister shouted over the cheering. Rose petals filled the air. 

“Everyone, the bridal party has a few pictures to take, but the cars will take you to the reception site,” Mandi announced. The ushers gently herded people toward the cars. Mandi and the photographers moved the wedding party and parents around for pictures, and then Alexei and Gretchen climbed into Cinderella’s carriage. 

“This is incredible.” Gretchen laughed, and held Alexei’s hand. 

“Is being good wedding?” He kissed her knuckles. 

“Best wedding.” She leaned in to kiss him. “Any wedding where I’m marrying you is the best wedding.” 

“I’m feel same.” He smiled. 

At the reception venue, there were more pictures, and then Gretchen was ushered to a private room to change into her reception dress, a white satin strapless mini dress with a side drape, overlaid with gold lace, and a pair of white combat boots. 

She altered her make up a little, added a little more blue to her lids, and re-did her lips in blue. She fluffed her hair out, as Alexei came up to get her. 

“Perfect.” He smiled, took her arm, and led her down to their party.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was going to end it here, but my Beta...


	26. The Honeymoon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alexei takes her to Europe for their honeymoon.

After two nights in the honeymoon suite of a hotel just outside of Disneyland, Alexei and Gretchen packed up to head home, do laundry, re-pack, spend two nights at home, and then head off to Europe for three weeks. Dex and Nursey were staying in their apartment until they got back. 

“First week is being London. Find us flat near Tate Museum,” Alexei told her. “Second Week is being Paris, get flat near Montmartre. Going to buy you pastels from shop where Degas get his pastels, go to show at Moulin Rouge.” He leaned in to kiss her. “Third week is villa in south of Italy, relax, be naked all time, drink too much wine, eat seafood. Maybe take day trips to Greece.”

“Oh, baby! You planned this so I could go to museums!” Gretchen pushed him back on the bed. “I love you so much!” 

“I’m did.” He pulled her into a long kiss. “Love you, beautiful wife.” 

“Love you, incredible husband.” She straddled his hips. “Wait, how did you know about Degas and the pastels?”

“Watch art documentaries on tablet during roadies. British guy, Waldemar something, very funny, very interesting.” He told her. “Degas is being kind of dick, but not as bad as Gaugin.” 

“Oh, sweetheart!” She pulled her shirt off, and leaned down to kiss him again. “I love you.” 

“You are already knowing about hockey. I’m need to catch up.” He kissed her back. 

“You are so amazing, baby.” She tugged his shirt up and he did a half crunch to let her pull it over his head. “Your abs are insane.” 

“You like that?” He waggled his eyebrows at her. “I’m have the actual sexy underwear on for you.” 

“I like those a lot.” She got up to finish getting undressed and to let him get his jeans off and lie back on the couch in the tight, white trunks with the cut outs over the cut of his hips. “God damn, baby.” 

“You.” He smiled as she shrugged out of her bra and shucked off her jeans and underwear. “Best.” 

“Fuck, want you.” She breathed. 

“Should probably move this to bedroom, before Poindexter and Nurse get back from walk puppies.” He chuckled, and sat up. “I’m think we traumatize enough.” 

“Yeah, probably.” She giggled, as they gathered up their clothes, and ran for the bedroom. 

A day and a half later, they were on a plane to London, in first class, holding hands and drinking champagne.

“What’s that?” Gretchen asked, when Alexei pulled out his tablet. 

“Downloaded all art documentaries, want to watch with you, see what you think. Maybe explain some things to me I’m not get before.” He held out an earbud to her. 

“I would love nothing more, baby.” She smiled, and leaned in for a kiss, before putting the earbud in. 

They spent the first day in London sleeping, going to a couple pubs for meals, and sleeping and fooling around. The second day Alexei followed her through the Tate Museum, as she poured over paintings looking for Fanny Eaton, one of the few Black models of the Pre-Raphaelites, and the only one whose name was known. 

The third day they spent at the Tate Modern. The fourth day they did touristy things like ride the London Eye on the Thames, go to the Tower, and Gretchen insisted on a shopping trip to King’s Road. 

“I mean, it’s not what it was in the 70s and 80s, but still.” She shrugged. 

“I’m understand.” Alexei had an arm around her. “I’m just happy be with you.” 

“Mmm, but what do you want to do?” She poked him in the side. “I can do museums forever, but I don’t want you to be bored.” 

“Couple nice restaurants I’m hear about from people, maybe do dinner. Find place go dancing.” He leaned in to kiss her. 

“Well, yeah. I don’t know. I feel like you’ve gone out of your way to plan the best trip for me, I don’t want you to feel like it isn’t your honeymoon, too.” She frowned. 

“No worry. I’m being happiest.” He kissed her again. “Also, ask Isabelle, she is tell me places in Paris for shopping. Sister still live there.” 

“Ok, I see. Soften me up with a week of museums so I don’t object to letting you play Barbie doll with me.” She laughed. 

“I’m know we spend most of time in Paris for museums. I’m want two days for shopping, for both of us.” He steered her out of someone’s way. “Loving you so much. Just glad being married to you.” 

“Baby, you are the most incredible.” She smiled up at him. “I still have trouble believing this is real. Like I’m gonna wake up with a killer hangover, and have to do make-up on you and Mandi or something.” 

“Believe it. Is being almost year, golubka. You are being stuck with me.” He chuckled. “Does feel kind of like best kind of dream. Hoping we are never wake up.” 

Their first stop in Paris, after getting settled in the apartment, was Sennelier, the art shop that Gaugin, Degas and all the other Impressionists shopped at. 

“Um, I don’t think a complete set is going to be possible,” Gretchen stared at the wall of pastels. 

“Maybe not. Maybe we just pick colors you are wanting, can’t get anywhere else.” Alexei held her hand. “Also, get anything else you are wanting, golubka.” He turned toward the salesgirl behind the counter. “Ma femme est une artiste, elle aimerait des pastels dans des couleurs exclusives a votre magasin.”

“Ok, how did I not know you spoke French?” Gretchen asked. Alexei shrugged, as the woman behind the counter started pulling out trays of pastels. “Oh my god! Maybe I do want a full set. I don’t know where I’d keep it, but damn.” 

“I’m thinking, maybe we are buying house soon. As you are saying, apartment not really big enough for three dogs.” Alexei leaned over to kiss her. “Nous aimerions un ensemble complet.” 

The woman nodded, and then walked over and pulled out a large wooden box. Opening it she showed them the trays inside it. 

“Cinq cent vingt-cinq couleurs.” The woman indicated the case. 

“That is being 525 different colors, golubka,” Alexei told her. 

“Yes, please. Um, s’il vous plait,” Gretchen said. 

“See, can speak little French.” Alexei chuckled and pulled out his wallet. “Expediez-vous en Amerique?”

“Oui, monseiur.” The woman paused. “Pardon, but I cannot help notice. You are Gretchen and Alexei, yes?” 

“Yes.” Gretchen said. 

“We have a student Americaine who works here. She love the Bachelor. All of us watch now. You are on your honeymoon?” The woman smiled. 

“Yes, get married at Disneyland,” Alexei beamed, arm around Gretchen. “Network film it, going to air before next season.” 

“I cannot wait to see it,” she smiled. “Give me your address, and we will ship it.” She waved away Alexei’s credit card. “Wedding present.” 

“Oh, no. We can’t,” Gretchen started. 

“Je suis désolée, mais je ne comprends pas l’anglais.” The woman winked at her. 

“Ok, yes, I get it. Not gonna win this fight.” Gretchen sighed. Alexei laughed. 

“Can ship now. We are not being home for two weeks, but have house-sitters.” Alexei wrote out their address for the woman, who smiled. 

“You are a very talented artist, Gretchen. You should talk to a gallery when you get home. The paintings they showed were lovely. Especially the one of Isabelle Moreau.” 

“You know Isabelle?” Gretchen asked. 

“She did some films, then married her hockey player and moved to Canada. I was surprised to see her on the show. You are friends, non?” 

“Yes. She was one of the first to welcome me when I moved to Providence with Alexei. I honestly do not know what I would have done without her, and Gabby, Christine, Jenna and Eric.” Gretchen slid her arm around Alexei’s waist. “It was real hard for awhile.” 

“I am glad you had help.” The woman paused. “If I send film poster with your pastels, would you ask her to sign it, and send it back. Mon Pere is a big fan.” 

“Of course.” Gretchen told her. 

“C’est bon.” The woman smiled. “Have a fantastic time in Paris.” 

“Apart from the Louvre and Pompidou, what museums would you recommend?” Gretchen asked. 

“Give me your cell number, and I will ask my student if she can get you into Beaux-Arts to see their galleries.” The woman pushed a pad of paper toward Gretchen. 

The rest of Paris was a whirl of museums, shopping, and amazing food. The student who worked at Sennelier turned out to be an excited Black girl from Louisiana named Rochelle who gave them a tour of the school. They had dinner in the Eiffel Tower restaurant. At the end of the week, they took the train to the Otranto, Italy and the villa. 

At the villa they lay on the beach or the veranda. Alexei took her to explore the castle, lighthouse, and the cathedral. But they spent most of the time in Otranto in bed or on the beach. 

“Baby, I am so glad we shipped all the presents back home instead of trying to carry everything.” Gretchen sprawled across him in their bedroom, which overlooked the ocean. 

“Yes.” Alexei yawned, a hand rubbing her back. “I’m think we have things for everyone. Madeline pans for B, baguette pans for Poindexter, fancy journal and pen for Nurse. Wine for everyone else. Chocolates for kids. Scarves for you mom, dirty postcards for grandmas. Book on cemeteries for your Papa. My family not wanting anything, but I’m send few things, earrings, cologne, laptop bag, cufflinks for Papa.” 

“Your Dad really doesn’t strike me as the cufflinks type.” Gretchen sat up and stretched. 

“No. Is being long-running joke.” Alexei watched her, smiling. “Also send booze for real present. You are being so beautiful. I’m love you so much, golubka.” 

“I love you, and look who’s talking about beautiful.” She poked him in the ribs, tickling him. “I can’t remember when I’ve ever seen a more beautiful man.” 

“If you are say so.” He pulled her down for a long deep, kiss. “Can go again?”

“Anytime, anywhere.” She combed her fingers through his hair, and he closed his eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, so I'm almost done with Kent's fic, and I have more on these two dorks, because of course I do. 
> 
> Some day I'll be able to write something else again.


	27. Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alexei and Gretchen get him, and relax with the Falcs.

Dex picked them up from the airport in Alexei’s SUV. 

“You guys look wiped, and very tan. I didn’t even know Tater could tan,” Dex said once they got in the car. 

“It takes at least one really bad burn, and about a week of lying on Mediterranean beaches, apparently.” Gretchen told him. “The trip was lovely, but I missed my bed and my dogs.” 

“Your wall of packages got here.” Dex pulled out of the arrivals lanes and headed toward the apartment building. “I left Nursey alone with the dogs, we’ll see how that went. He’s never had pets.” 

“When does he leave for training camp?” Gretchen asked. “Avalanche?”

“Yeah. We’ve still got about a month and a half. Just before ours starts here.” Dex blushed red. “I, uh, can’t believe the Falcs actually signed me.” 

“Whatever, Poindexter. You led your team to their second consecutive Frozen Four win. I don’t want to hear that false modesty bullshit out of you.” Gretchen punched him in the arm. 

“It’s not false, and not modesty, mostly low self-esteem, but yeah, ok. I’ve been training with Jack since my Freshman year of college, I shouldn’t be shocked.” Dex laughed. 

“Have natural talent, too.” Tater leaned forward from the backseat. “Can’t wait play with you, we are having pretty good chemistry on ice. Can stop at drive-thru? Would kill for burger and fries.” 

“Yeah, I suppose we can do that.” Dex nodded. “I could eat. Nursey and I have been obsessively training all summer. Jack’s been keeping an eye on us so we don’t over do it. Um, however, now the puppies expect to go on runs in the morning.” 

“Good thing you and Nurse are around to help out with that for the next month or so.” Gretchen rubbed her face. 

When they got to the apartment, the puppies nearly wagged their butts off, dancing around and whining. 

“Oh, hello, babies!” Gretchen dropped her bags, and crouched down to let the puppies lick her face. At 8 months old, they looked like really big corgis with somewhat floppy ears and Labrador tails. “Oh, yes, we missed you so much! Were you good for Dex and Nursey?”

“They were pretty good, apart from crying at your door every night.” Nursey said, standing up. “Did you have a good time?”

“The best, but I am so ready to eat salad for a month and sleep in my own bed. Oh my god, the food was incredible.” Gretchen looked over at the pile of boxes at the far end of the living room. “Holy shit, did we really ship that much stuff here?” 

“Probably.” Alexei shrugged. He carried their bags into the bedroom, Michel tagging along at his heels. “Hi, Michel! Give me second! I’m miss you, too!” He came out a minute later, the 40 lb dog cradled in his arms. “Yes, missed my puppy so much!” Alexei hugged the dog, and bent over to set him down. 

“So, let me dig through the boxes, because your presents should be in there.” Gretchen got up and walked over to the boxes to dig through them. “Ok, so here is the box with Dex and Eric’s presents in it.” 

“I already texted. He’ll be here with a pie in about 2 minutes, I’m guessing.” Nursey said, bending over to thump Yvonne. 

“And here is Nursey’s.” She pulled out a box from Melodies Graphiques and handed it to him. 

“Aw, thanks, guys. You didn’t have to. It was nice having the place to ourselves, and the dogs.” Nursey took the box and Dex pulled out a pocket knife to help him open it. He pulled out the journal and pen. “Oh, wow. These are great! Thank you!” 

Just then someone tapped on the door. 

“Right on time!” Dex went to get it. Eric walked in with Jack and a pie. 

“Welcome back, ya’ll! How was the trip?” Eric set the pie on the kitchen island as Gretchen hauled the box with Eric and Dex’s presents over to the table. 

“It was great! We have you and Dex’s presents in this box.” She let Dex lift it up. 

“You didn’t have to, hon!” Eric said, walking over. 

“We wanted to.” Gretchen watched as Dex opened the box and pulled out the cast iron Madeliene pan. “That’s Eric’s, it’s for making Madeleines. And the other one is for Dex.” 

“Is this a baguette pan?” Dex asked. 

“Yes, you said you were really getting into baking bread. So we picked that up for you as a thank you for watching the house.” She walked over to Alexei and slid an arm around his waist. “We got Jack a big history book in French, Alexei said that he didn’t think Jack had it, and cognac for Bob and Alicia.” 

“Are all of those presents for everyone?” Eric asked. 

“No, we did some shopping for us, too.” Gretchen shrugged. “Somewhere there’s a box with a really nice set of knives, and the most amazing pastels from Sennelier in Paris.” 

“Had best honeymoon after best wedding.” Alexei leaned down to kiss her. 

“Still gross.” Dex snorted. 

“We may need help getting these all to the barbecue this weekend,” Gretchen admitted. 

“So, what did you buy that you feel like you can show us?” Nursey asked. 

“Oh, um, those pastels, oh my god, you guys. They’re fucking magical.” Gretchen found the box, which was very large, and much heavier than she expected. 

“I am suspect they send other things, too.” Alexei snickered, and walked over to help her haul the box over. 

“This must have cost a fortune to send!” Gretchen said, as Dex handed her his pocket knife. “Oh my god!” Inside sets of oils, and oil pastels lay inside the bubble packs. And a poster tube. “This must be Isabelle’s movie poster. Agathe said her father was a huge fan.” Gretchen very carefully opened the poster and unrolled it on the dining room table. 

“That is metal as fuck,” Dex whispered. It was a painting, or a photo made to look like painting of a very young Isabelle, in the tatters of a Renaissance gown, wielding a sabre, as she mounted stairs toward another, older woman in a dark purple gown with glowing hands, a small dragon in a cage behind her. 

“Pour la Dragon,” the poster proclaimed. Isabelle Moreau had top billing, next to a Martine Brossard and a Jean-Claude Garneau.

“Wow, that is really cool!” Nursey said. He googled ‘Pour le Dragon.’ “No, not the remake, the 80s version. Ok, here it is. A princess has to save the last dragon in her kingdom before an evil sorceress can kill it and steal it’s fire. Isabelle Moreau as Princess Sophie. Martine Brossard, as the Sorceress, and Jean-Claude Garneau as the Princess’s hapless fiance. Ok, he’s the comic relief while the two ladies chew scenery, and apparently act out a torture scene that’s more soft-core porn than Inquisition.” 

“I expect that, it’s French.” Gretchen shrugged. 

“Mademoiselle Moreau is a delight, and better than this script deserved, which she would later prove in Galliard’s Ferme ta Bouche, and Le Sable.” Nursey’s eyebrows raised. “I kind of want to track this down now.” 

“Nurse, no. I have to play on the same team as Guy,” Dex groaned. 

That weekend, Marty and Gabby threw them a combination informal reception and welcome back party. They loaded up Alexei’s SUV and the back of Jack’s pick up with gifts, and headed over. Everyone on the team got at least a bottle of wine, and the wives and girlfriends got Hermes scarves or bottles of Chanel. There were toys and candy for the kids. They brought the poster with them. After delivering the moisturizer Isabelle had requested, Gretchen pulled out the poster tube. 

“So, uh, the current owner of Sennelier is a fan, and his daughter sent this poster for you to sign it,” Gretchen told her. “It’s, uh, Pour le Dragon.” 

“But of course!” Isabelle laughed. “My other films take me to Cannes, this, this is the one everyone remember.” They unrolled the poster on the dining room table inside. Guy grinned. 

“Isabelle, I am shocked by the gratuitous amount of leg on display in this poster!” Gabby gasped in faux shocked. 

“Whole world has seen your tits, Gabrielle.” Isabelle rolled her eyes. “It was a fun movie. What is her Papa’s name?”

“Hadrian. Like the wall?” Gretchen asked. 

“Yes, is not the most common, but still used.” Isabelle uncapped the marker Gretchen handed her and scrawled on a light spot in the picture. “Hadrian, Tout mon amour pour toi! Isabelle Moreau.” She smiled. “Can I get their address? I might have something he would like to have.” 

“Sure. I’ll let Agathe know to watch for it.” Gretchen waited for the marker to dry, and rolled up the poster, sticking it back in its tube. “She said she recognized you from the painting and your interview on the show.” 

“It is nice people remember me.” Isabelle smiled, and kissed Gretchen on the cheek. 

They stayed late, chatting with Christine, Thirdy, Marty, Gabby, Jenna, Snowy, Jack, Eric and the kids. Nursey and Dex had come in Dex’s car and had taken the pups back home with them. Isabelle and Guy had gone home so Isabelle could look for whatever she wanted to send to Agathe’s dad. 

“We are so glad you guys made it.” Christine smiled, sitting next to Thirdy. 

“So are we.” Gretchen sat on Alexei’s lap. “I need to find a yoga studio or pilates or something, we ate so much over there. Holy shit, you guys! The food!”

“Jack and I are planning on a food tour of Europe when we get married.” Eric leaned against Jack, who kissed the top of his head. 

“We did an art tour, really. The food was incidental.” Gretchen let Alexei pull her closer, and glanced down at their left hands. “I’m still a little in shock that we’re actually married.” 

“Happiest.” Alexei kissed her cheek. 

“Yes, happiest, best.” She giggled and turned her head to kiss him. “I could have died when you guys radioed Pearl in with the rings. That was incredible, and a stroke of genius.” 

“Mandi, idea. See Pearl glare at Chris. Knowing we are not having kids we know well enough to include as ring bearer or flower girl, and decide that is being best. Definitely wanted Pearl in wedding party somehow.” 

Gretchen glanced over to where Pearl was lying on a chaise by the pool, playing with her phone. 

“Yeah, I definitely wanted her involved, too.” Gretchen relaxed against Alexei. 

“Think you can handle one more drink tonight?” Thirdy asked, pulling a bottle of wine out from behind his chair. “Because we haven’t really toasted you guys, not tonight.” 

“Sure.” Gretchen sat up, and Gabby and Marty went to get glasses for everyone.

Thirdy poured a splash in everyone’s tumbler and, then lifted his own glass. 

“To Alexei and Gretchen, may their marriage be full of joy, love and happiness for many years to come!” They all leaned in to clink glasses, and drank. 

“Thanks, you guys. Really, we couldn’t have done it without you. You’ve been amazing friends!” Gretchen’s voice broke a little. 

“Best, even when worst.” Alexei grinned, arm around her waist. 

“Hey! When am I getting a niece or nephew?” Pearl yelled. 

“What, are you channeling my grandmothers?” Gretchen yelled back. “It’s gonna be awhile, settle down.” 

“When’s Parse’s girl moving out here for school?” Thirdy asked. “MIT, right?”

“Yeah. Um, middle or end of August. She was going to move out sooner, but, and I quote, ‘Parse is up to something and has sworn me to secrecy.’” Gretchen told them. 

“Zimmboni, look worried.” Alexei chuckled. 

“Because I’ve met Kenny.” Jack rubbed the bridge of his nose. “He’s gonna do what he’s gonna do.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This has been a lot of fun. Thank you all for sticking with me through it!
> 
> Kent's story will start in a day or two.

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know why I needed to write this. The closest I've ever come to watching the Bachelor is reading Elyse's summaries of it and the Bachelorette on SmartBitchesTrashyBooks.com I love her summaries. 
> 
> Tater is my favorite


End file.
